Once in a While
Once in a while, there's an occasional twinge. A pretty pair of legs, an easy stride, nice boobs, and a gut-twisting smile. I can't help it; I'm a man, for God's sake. I was designed to react to women. And every time I do, I get this wild urge to trip 'em, strip 'em, and screw 'em. So far I've resisted, but it's been hard!
The trouble is, once you're committed to someone, you have to make allowances for their feelings. Though, I guess my other half has had just as many fantasies about straying as I have. Another man, flirting in public - think it's only to see how jealous I'll get. Will I come on strong, punch out the innocent poacher to prove my love, or just let 'em get on with it?
Gets tempting to wander off the straight and narrow, especially when we're working apart. I get stuck in a two-star hotel on some stupid pretext for Cowley - it gets bloody lonely nights - and I'm going out of my mind, dreaming of strange women, and what I could be doing with them.
Except, I know I won't. Even if the job didn't impose it's damned restrictions, I have a bed-mate I cherish. I don't know if it's love, but it's a nice sort of feeling. I suppose you have to be with someone for a very long time to know for sure.
I mean, I've seen it happen between friends - fellow squad members getting married, or pairing off with lovers - and I can't help but wonder. Are they ever tormented by doubts the way I am?
I got up the nerve to ask one of the older blokes one night. We'd run out of other things to discuss on this particular stake-out. He looked at me, all the usual mockery fled away in the semi-dark of an up-stairs room.
"Yeah, I get tempted. I see a pair of legs, pretty face, well stacked, and he," he glanced down at his groin, "still shows an interest."
"Ever gone beyond the looking stage?" I asked, forgetting caution for a moment.
He laughed softly. "What d'you think?" He sighed. "No. It takes more than a face and figure to make me stray. I appreciate what I've got. I've made a commitment, and I'm sticking by it."
His eyes roamed to the target house. "In the end, it's all down to loyalty to the one you love, Murph. Besides which," he added with a grin, "could you imagine Ray ever letting me go?"
-- THE END --
For Wilhelm - once in a while...