(OR, GATESHEAD REVISITED!)

Of all the things that've happened to me since I joined the Squad, THIS has to be the most embarrassing.

I mean, here I am, CI5's top agent, now that Bodie and Doyle have moved on to the training side, and I'm stuck on an Intercity 125 bound for London -- one way ONLY. He made that point perfectly clear -- didn't mince his words. I was in no position to argue about it; he had me by the scruff of the neck, and dragged me to Newcastle Central...

What are the lads going to say about this? Bodie'll laugh his bloody head off -- bet he's never had anything like this happen to him...

Hell, what'll the Controller say: we spent months setting up my cover as a shady business man -- fast cars, booze, plenty of birds -- go North, young Murph, they said, integrate, become one of Price's mob -- there's dirty work afoot in them there vehicles...So north I go, away from the country I know and love...

Taking the cars, doing them up -- kids' stuff, really, but if pays well enough to finance the drugs trafficking. I was almost ready to pounce: Raymond Price was about to get done for organising couriers -- then that fucking copper sticks his great nose into my business, swoops on my lock-ups, and has me on a charge. The legal department worked a fast one to get me out on bail...

I should've known he had it in for me. He came to the gym, where I was working out, waiting for my contact, and hauls me out in front of everyone, down the station, shoves me onto the train...When I get back to dear old London, I'm going to file a complaint against the Chief Super up here, and that ugly git who works for him -- what's his name -- oh, yeah, that's right, Spender...

-- THE END --

From "Homecoming"

For Elaine