or

The Lads Get Creative with the Alphabet - amongst other things.

or

Bodie, you can't spell xylophone with a zed!

"And another thing - how many times have I told you not to eat biscuits in bed - look at the mess, it's like a disaster area-"

"But Ray-"

"Crumbs everywhere - what am I goin' to do with you, Bodie?"

"Doyle!"

"Eh, what?"

"Finished muttering have we? Good, now get that delectable arse over here and give me a cuddle."

"Huh - a cuddle with my arse? In case you haven't noticed, that might be a physical impossibility mate. Just a minute, how about if I rub it - right there?"

"Know what you are, sunshine...an evil tempter of lovely young lads such as myself, that's what...oh Christ...yeah, more, just like that."

"Lovely, eh? Maybe you are at that, well I've been stuck with you for twenty years so you mustn't be too bad. Now how about we get back to the matter in hand, so to speak, mmm, that feels good. Oh yeah! Put your hand there Bodie - oh that's perfect. Quick! Rub me harder, oh bloody hell!"

"S'alright, love - I've got you. There you go - feel good?"

"Un-fucking-believable, mate. Very relaxed now, mmm. Wanna just close my eyes for forty winks, all right?"

"Xmas trees aren't lit up as much as I am, sunshine. You can't leave me in this state...Ray...what about me...come on mate...Ray, Ray...you wouldn't just-"

"Zzzzz."

-- THE END --