Internal Jungle

by


Doyle watched as Bodie continued to look everywhere but at him as they walked down the corridor. Cowley had given them both leave for the next two days after completing an assignment involving a South African representative. The op itself wasn't as risky as others they'd had, but diplomatic situations were never a strong point for Cowley's best team.

"You fancy gettin' a drink?" asked Doyle, stretching his stride to keep pace with Bodie.

"Not tonight, mate. Appreciate the offer, but I think I'll just head home and spend a quiet night in," answered Bodie, not even glancing at Doyle as they rounded the corner and headed down the stairs.

Doyle narrowed his eyes as he watched his partner skip down the steps, obviously eager to get out of headquarters before the Cow had a chance to change his mind.

Bodie could feel Doyle's gaze burning into his back and suppressed the urge to look over his shoulder. Not wanting a confrontation that could very well develop if he didn't side track his partner, he had to think of something that Doyle would accept as a good enough reason for his refusal. "Not really in the mood for crowds. I've had enough bein' on me best behaviour, actin' civilized and bein' persuasive. I just want to go home."

Doyle snorted and gave Bodie a lopsided grin. "In other words, you want to let you hair down and lounge around in your skivvies."

"That too," said Bodie, chancing a look at his partner and returning the grin.

"You know, that doesn't sound half bad." Doyle rubbed the back of his neck, following Bodie out of the building and into the car park.

"Now if Cowley just holds to his offer of two days off, I'll be a happy man," said Bodie, fishing out his car keys from his pocket.

"Can't think of any reason for him to call us in," said Doyle, standing beside Bodie's car. "Could always just take off just so he's not tempted."

"There's nowhere far enough he wouldn't track you down," said Bodie, climbing into his car. Although they usually car pooled together, it wasn't unusual for them to take their separate vehicles while they weren't on assignment.

"You're right," sighed Doyle, passing a hand through his hair.

"See you later, mate," said Bodie, inserting the key into the ignition.

Doyle took a step back, nodding as he closed the car door. He watched as Bodie backed out of the parking spot and drove away before heading for his own vehicle. Bodie's words replayed over and over in his head. The desire to shut out the world after an op wasn't unusual, but it normally followed an op that was high risk and where nerves had been wound tight and on edge. This last assignment hadn't been all that dangerous, in fact, the whole thing had been pretty uneventful. He had figured Bodie would want to burn off a bit of energy at their favourite pub and bed a bird that he would have no trouble picking up. To have Bodie decline the offer of a night out drinking and bedding whatever beauty that caught his fancy had alerted Doyle that something wasn't quite right with his partner.



Bodie pulled up to his flat and sat in his car, rubbing his hands over his face roughly before getting out. He hadn't lied to Doyle about needing a bit of time alone after two weeks of playing body guard for the African representative. He just hadn't told him the whole truth. What neither Doyle or Cowley knew was one of the men travelling with the African representative had been in the jungle with him when he had been in Africa. The familiar face brought back the raw, basic existence that represented a mercenaries life and he had been surprised to feel the pull of returning to the jungle.

It wasn't the danger of not knowing if you would survive the day, although he had never felt more alive than at that time of his life, it was the acceptance of who and what a man was that he missed. There was a code of honour among the mercenaries, even if it was a bit warped and twisted. Men became close, especially when survival was dependant on each other, not to mention the lack of female companionship.

Taking a cleansing breath, Bodie got out of his car and headed toward his flat. Old urges he had thought he had put to rest had arisen and he needed time to lock that part of himself away once again. With unnecessary force he shoved his key into the lock and opened the door. While disarming the alarm, he used his foot to kick the door closed, causing it to slam shut.

Passing the small kitchen alcove, he headed straight for the liquor cabinet and proceeded to pour himself a generous glass of scotch. With eyes closed, he downed over half of the fiery liquid which failed to calm the raging storm inside his soul. He refilled his glass before moving toward the couch and sitting down.

Bodie rested his head against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts centred on his partner. During their years as partners, he had always kept a tight rein on his feelings for Doyle. The need to lay claim to his desires had flared over the last two weeks as memories of strength melding with strength were awaken.

It was there in the jungle, that Bodie had last known the touch of a male lover, muscle flexing against muscle, as pleasure was given and taken. He had believed the desire for male encounters would disappear once he had left the jungle behind and female companionship was more accessible. Instead he had discovered he carried the jungle within himself and it was toward his partner that his deep desires truly focused.

Downing the remainder of his drink, Bodie placed the empty glass on the small table next to the couch and stood. He felt restless, the scotch having little effect on the turmoil he was struggling with. Perhaps a shower would help him as he headed toward the bathroom, undressing on the way.

The hot water cascaded down his body like a thousand tiny fingers, enticing and arousing him as he used his hands to caress his own flesh. With eyes tightly shut against the spray of water, he imagined other hands sliding over his wet skin and encircling his hard cock. Envisioning bright, green eyes urging him toward completion, he sped up the rough fisting of his cock. Through clenched teeth and his voice tight with strain, he uttered his phantom lover's name over and over. A deep groan escaped him as he climaxed, his seed mixing with the water as it washed away.

Gasping, Bodie struggled to remain standing, leaning against the wet tile as his heartbeat gradually slowed from it's frantic pace. Instead of feeling a sense of peace, he felt hollow and unfulfilled.

"Bodie?"

The sound of his partner's voice caused Bodie to jerk in surprise and he almost slipped on the wet porcelain. He quickly shut off the water and yanked back the shower curtain, finding himself facing the flesh and blood version of his phantom lover.

"What the 'ell are you doin' 'ere?!" demanded Bodie, his face flushed from his recent sexual release and the embarrassment of finding his partner standing in his bathroom.

"You left your door unlocked and I was worried that something might be wrong," answered Doyle, folding his arms across his chest as he watched Bodie yank on his dressing gown without bothering to dry off.

"So you just decided to come waltzing into the bathroom while I was showering?" Bodie brushed past Doyle, tying his gown closed.

"Thought you knew I was here," answered Doyle, his voice sounding a bit queer. "I heard you call my name as I opened the door."

Bodie froze and he felt Doyle's presence directly behind him as his partner stepped close to him.

"You fancy blokes, Bodie?" asked Doyle, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you fancy me?"

Bodie's whole body tensed. Any hope that Doyle hadn't known what he had been doing in the shower just died.

"Answer me," insisted Doyle, stepping around Bodie and trying to force his partner to face him.

Bodie refused to look directly at Doyle, choosing to sidestep him instead as he headed for the sitting room. He picked up his glass from earlier and moved to refill it with scotch.

"Bodie?"

"I think you need to leave, Doyle," ground out Bodie.

"I think we need to talk," countered Doyle.

"Don't think there's anything left to say, is there?" He could drown in the green eyes staring at him intensely. Doyle never was one to beat around the bush, and tonight was not proving to be an exception.

"You're wrong, mate," said Doyle, pausing a moment before asking, "How long?"

Bodie frowned in confusion.

"How long have you been wanting me?" clarified Doyle. "Is this just some passing fancy, or have you really been thinking about it?"

"Just let it be, Doyle," warned Bodie, feeling exposed and vulnerable standing in his sitting room dressed only in his bath robe. The humiliation of being discovered by the object of his fantasies still clung heavily to him.

"Do you want me, or will any bloke do?" pressed Doyle, refusing to give Bodie time to conjure up a fabrication to explain away what he had just witnessed.

"Ray. . . ." growled Bodie, on the verge of physically throwing Doyle out of his flat.

"Because if just any cock will do, I'll leave you to it," interrupted Doyle. "But if it's me you're desirin', then I'll stay."

Bodie opened his mouth to yell for Doyle to leave, then snapped it shut as Doyle's words penetrated his humiliation.

"What's wrong? Cat got yer tongue?" Doyle walked toward the liquor cabinet deliberately invaded Bodie's personal space as he poured himself a drink.

Taking a deep breath, Bodie gathered his wits. "Don't know what kind of game your playing, Sunshine, but if you're not careful, you just might get more than you bargained for."

"No game," said Doyle, his voice low and steady. He stared at Bodie as he drank deeply from his glass.

"What do you want, Doyle?" demanded Bodie, taking a step backward. It unnerved him to have Doyle acting this way. He had fully expected his partner to either slug him or walk out should he ever discover this secret side of himself.

"Same thing you do," answered Doyle, licking a droplet of scotch from his lower lip.

"Quit being so fucking flippant," ground out Bodie, his entire being tense for whatever action may be required to counter anything from his unpredictable partner.

Doyle turned his back on Bodie and moved to sit on the settee, crossing his legs and stretching his arms out along the back cushions. "Didn't really notice anything different on the op with you, Bodie. Not until it was over and done with. Usually, after a soft job like this one, you want to burn off whatever excess energy that you've built up. Instead, you high tailed it out of Headquarters and practically ran away from me."

"That's not true," denied Bodie, although he knew it was.

Doyle continued as though Bodie hadn't spoken. "Set off alarms in me head and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Just didn't expect the answer I got when I walked in on you."

"Was your own fault, barging in like that. Never know what kind of dirty secrets you might stumble upon," said Bodie, his teeth clenched as he waited for Doyle to come to his point.

"Don't you think it was a secret that you should have shared with me?" asked Doyle.

"Not bloody likely," snapped Bodie. "What would you have had me do? Sneak a grope while on stakeout one night?"

"You could have told me how you felt," said Doyle.

"Oh, right, just whisper in your ear that I fancy a tumble with you?" hissed Bodie. "That would have gone over like a lead balloon. At best, you would have treated it as a joke, at worst, you'd have walloped me a good one."

"You really think that little of me?" asked Doyle, truly hurt.

"No," admitted Bodie, struggling to understand this turn of events and Doyle's unexpected reaction to finding out his dark, little secret. "But you have to admit, it's not something one goes around saying to one's partner. - By the way, Doyle, old son, I happen to enjoy a rough and tumble with a bloke every now and then. - That would have gone over well, woudn't it have?"

"Is that all you want, then?" asked Doyle. "Just to get off with a bloke?"

"What part are you having trouble understanding, Ray?" asked Bodie, exasperated and angry.

"I'm still waiting for you to answer my original question," said Doyle, setting his empty glass on the coffee table and standing.

"What question?" Bodie tracked Doyle as he moved toward him.

"Do you want me, or was I just a handy little fantasy you happened to conjure up?" Doyle stopped, mere inched from Bodie.

"What difference does it make?" Bodie's voice dripped with sarcasm. "You're not bent, Doyle. Trust me, if you were, I would have known."

"Would you?" countered Doyle. "How long have we been partners? In all that time, did I ever gleam you twisted both ways? You hid it quite well, don't you think I'm capable of playing the charade just as well as you?"

"Then why didn't you ever say anything?" A glimmer of understanding flared and Bodie dared to hope he wasn't misinterpreting what Doyle was trying to say to him.

"Why didn't you?" snapped Doyle. "I'll tell you why, same reasons we both kept mum, ol' boy. Not acceptable conduct in the service of Her Majesty. Haven't tread on that side of the hedge since joining CI5."

Bodie still eyed Doyle, wary of this still being a possible set up by his sometimes snarky partner in revenge for his earlier indiscretion. "You expect me to believe you've been fancying me all this time?"

"No," answered Doyle. "In truth, I didn't dare allow myself the luxury of thinking about you in that way. At least not until I walked in on you while you were in the shower. Seeing and hearing you took the wool right off my eyes, making me realize what I'd been hiding from myself all this time."

"And what is that?" asked Bodie, daring to believe Doyle wasn't stringing him along.

"That we fancy each other," answered Doyle, honestly. "Been a long time, Bodie. Thought that part of my life was behind me for good, now I know it'll always be inside me."

"Are you telling me the truth, Doyle, or are you getting even for what you perceive as my imprudence?" pressed Bodie. "No games. If our partnership ever meant anything to you, you be honest with me right now."

"S' the truth, Bodie." Doyle's voice softened and he took the final step to bring them together. "This, us, it's too important."

Bodie searched Doyle's face for any flicker of amusement, but only saw honest emotion in the green eyes staring back. Taking a chance, Bodie reached out and gently brushed an errant curl away from Doyle's cheek. "Don't want just anyone, I want you."

Doyle blinked, his breath caught in his throat.

"You got your pound of flesh out of me, now what?" asked Bodie. "Want me to declare my undying love for you as well?"

Doyle smiled and slipped his arms loosely around Bodie's waist. "S'good, I would have been heart broken if it didn't matter who you got your jollies with. That would be a nice touch, though, have you woo me into your bed."

"Berk," grinned Bodie.

"We've got two days off," reminded Doyle. "Want to make good use of 'em?"

"What do you have in mind?" grinned Bodie, the inner beast of the jungle he had been wrestling with the past couple weeks slipped a bit from his iron will, sparking his instinct to lay claim to Doyle.

"Oh, I'm sure we can think of something," answered Doyle, returning the grin.

"I'm sure," agreed Bodie, wrapping his arms tightly around Doyle. He pressed his lips hard against Doyle's mouth, which opened eagerly to his demand for entrance. Claiming the hot, sweet mouth that suckled his tongue with equal desire, had him groaning. An almost growl of protest arose from him when eventually Doyle forced his mouth away.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you might just kill me," gasped Doyle, arching his neck as Bodie kissed and nipped his way down his jaw. The intensity of Bodie's affections had his head reeling and his knees weak as he clutched desperately at Bodie's back for support.

At Doyle's words, Bodie dropped his head onto his partner's shoulder, taking deep, controlling breaths. "Sorry, Petal. Not used to having my male partner being submissive. I'll take it easier."

"Submissive?" repeated Doyle, stiffening. "That's one description that's never been used to describe me, mate." He changed his hold to grasp the front of Bodie's dressing gown and pivoted. The unexpected move caught Bodie by surprise and he quickly steered him toward the couch, pushing Bodie down and straddling him. "Don't underestimate me, Bodie. I give as well as I receive." It was his turn to capture Bodie's mouth and plunder it deeply, highly aware of the matching hardness pressing against him where he sat on Bodie's lap.

Long minutes passed as the two men unleashed their pent up passions, each vying for dominance where neither would be the loser.

"Bed," croaked Bodie, his dressing gown half off one shoulder and threatening to tangle himself in the soft material.

"Thought you'd never ask," gasped out Doyle, his own clothes hanging in different stages of undress. Carefully, he disengaged himself from Bodie and stood, allowing his shirt to slide the rest of the way off. He took the opportunity to rid himself of the remainder of his clothes as Bodie caught his breath and finally gained his feet. He reached out and snagged Bodie's dressing gown and tugged it off. "Don't think you'll need this."

Bodie's eyes went an even darker blue as he stood proud and naked before Doyle. He watched every move Doyle made as he finally shimmied out of the remainder of his clothes. "I don't want this to be a one off with you."

"Thought that was a given, Sunshine," smiled Doyle, reaching out his hand to pull Bodie along toward the bedroom.

"With you, I don't take anything as a given," grinned Bodie, stealing a feel on Doyle's firm backside.

"Good." Doyle pulled down the covers and bounced on the bed, quirking an eyebrow at Bodie. "Yer just gonna stand there, or are you gonna join me?"

"Just admiring the view," answered Bodie, crawling on the bed and on top of Doyle, forcing his lover to lie back. Resting his full weight upon Doyle, he wrapped his arms tightly around him, effectively holding him in place.

"Ease off, mate," gasped Doyle, trying to wiggle an arm free. "Not going anywhere."

"I want you," breathed Bodie, loosening his hold slightly, but still using his advantage of size to pin Doyle to the mattress.

"You've got me," smirked Doyle, snaking a hand between them and giving Bodie's cock an affectionate squeeze.

Bodie gasped and bucked, burying his face in the crook of Doyle's neck. "Let me take you," he whispered, desperation tinging his voice.

"T'was the whole idea, wasn't it?" chuckled Doyle, relishing the fact he had Bodie practically squirming in his hands.

Struggling for control, Bodie reluctantly raised himself and reached over to the bedside table. "Been awhile, not sure if I can hold back much." He finally found the lube he had stashed which he used for his solo sojourns.

"Be disappointed if you did," said Doyle, wiggling until he was comfortably situated on his belly.

"You have to promise to tell me if I hurt you, Ray," said Bodie, kneeling perfectly still behind Doyle. "I'll do my best not to, but I might. . . ."

"I'm not made of some fragile fluff, Bodie," admonished Doyle, twisting to look back over his shoulder. "Trust me, I give as good as I get."

"I'll hold you to it," smirked Bodie, relaxing noticeably. He coated his fingers with the cool gel and leaned forward, kissing Doyle soundly as he allowed his fingers to trail down the cleft of Doyle's firm mounds.

"Christ!" started Doyle, flinching away from Bodie's touch. "That's bloody cold!"

"Sorry," chuckled Bodie. "Thought you were made of sterner stuff. Shall I fetch a bowl of hot water to warm up the tube for you, Sire?"

"You berk," snorted Doyle. "Was just surprised, is all. Do your worst."

"Ah ah, never that," said Bodie, rubbing around Doyle's entrance and then inserting a finger. "Only me best for you."

"Then get on with it," sighed Doyle, dropping his head onto his folded arms. He bent a leg, giving Bodie easier access as two fingers gently slid home inside.

Taking extra care, Bodie stretched and prepared Doyle, feathering kisses across his shoulders and grinning at the contented sighs that drifted toward him. "Ready?"

"Been ready," answered Doyle, gaining his hands and knees at Bodie's urging.

Biting his lip, Bodie slowly pressed forward, groaning at the tightness that enveloped him. The moment he breached the tight ring, he paused to give Doyle a chance to adjust. The sudden move back by his lover, had him gripping Doyle's hips savagely to forestall his instinct to thrust hard and deep. "What the fuck. . . !"

"Stop prancing around back there," ground out Doyle between clenched teeth. "Thought you were going to take me."

"Take, yes," panted Bodie, "harm, no."

"C'mon, Bodie," urged Doyle. "Don't make me beg here."

That last statement was all that was needed for Bodie to release his iron hold and he thrust in and out roughly. The spastic clenching of the velvet glove surrounding him spurred him to move faster.

"Christ!" yelled Doyle, bracing himself with his hands and shoving back in time with Bodie's thrusts.

Wanting to penetrate as deeply as possible, Bodie physically hauled Doyle up and back, settling him onto his thighs.

Doyle arched his back, his breath caught in his throat as he sank further down onto Bodie's rigid shaft.

Soaring with pleasure, Bodie clasped an arm tightly around Doyle's chest and held him close, lifting his burden with each powerful thrust into the willing body. The feel of muscle flexing against muscle, brought the inner jungle of his soul to the surface and he laid claim to the man who owned his heart.

"Yes," hissed Doyle, twisting for Bodie to kiss him as a strong, calloused hand encircled him.

Bodie captured Doyle's mouth, muffling the groans that Doyle couldn't contain. Remembering every skill he had learned in the jungle, he played Doyle as a finely tuned instrument.

Doyle strained against the powerful arms that held him, completely at Bodie's mercy. "Oh, hell, Bodie!"

Feeling the surge of pleasure building, Bodie quickly moved forward, stretching out on top of Doyle. Free of the weight upon his thighs, he moved hard and fast, rocking the bed on it's frame. He effectively captured Doyle's rocking body and let loose the pent up desires he had held in check for so long. Lowering his head, he nipped and bit the back of Doyle's neck, growling his release.

The relentless drive of Bodie's sent Doyle crashing over the edge, every muscle locking as his world went nova.

The heavy weight pressing down on him was the first thing he noticed as he became aware of his surroundings once again. "You're heavy, Bodie." Doyle squirmed and froze as Bodie withdrew from inside him. He was tender and a slight throb beat with the timing of his heart.

"Okay?" asked Bodie, grabbing tissues and gently cleaning them both.

"Never better," sighed Doyle, carefully rolling onto his side so Bodie could spoon behind him.

Bodie curled against Doyle, nuzzling the back of his neck. "Good. Never want to scare you off, especially that part of me I brought back from the jungle." He eyed the tender skin that was marked by his teeth.

Doyle reached back and patted Bodie on the hip. "Don't ever worry about showing that side of you, Bodie. I'm not that innocent and I doubt you could suggest anything that would have me screaming for the bogs."

"Dunno, mate," yawned Bodie. "Just might succeed in doing just that. If I do, just tell me, and I'll back off. Never want to hurt you."

"Nah, not gonna happen." Doyle snuggled into Bodie's embrace, feeling loved and protected.

Bodie surrendered to the siren call of dreamless sleep for the first time since the jungle awoke in him. He finally accepted the truth that you can take the man out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the man.

-- THE END --

Originally published in Secret Agent Men 2, Devious Developments Press, October 2003

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