Pulling the Capri up to the curb outside Bodie's flat, Ray Doyle sat for a moment, not quite ready to go in. Tonight's the night, Ray thought with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Tonight, he would let Bodie fuck him for the first time. He wanted it, but.... It was so far out of the realm of anything he'd done before, he was scared. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, especially not Bodie, who had the tendency to be over-protective to begin with. Ray sighed.

The last six weeks since he and Bodie had become lovers had been magical, electric, and so sexually satisfying Ray wondered how he dragged himself out of bed and to work every day. Together, he and Bodie had explored right up to the edge of the sexual envelope, going as far as they could. Bodie had rolled over and asked Ray to fuck him more than once, but he'd been unable to do the same.

Part of the problem, most of the problem, was that he was plain scared. He didn't like the idea of being hurt and seriously wondered how you could possibility get a cock as big as Bodie's into an arse as narrow as his without causing considerable pain. If anyone can do it, Bodie could, so he'd finally decided he'd just have to trust his partner in this too.

As he opened the car door, he was blasted by an icy cold wind. Shivering, he moved as fast as possible into the warmth of the entrance to Bodie's building. Bodie buzzed him through and he took the stairs two at a time, telling himself he was just burning off some excess energy.

The object of his downstairs musings stood in the doorway, waiting for him with a smile of welcome on his face and a twinkle in his dark blue eyes.

"Hi, mate," Bodie said, closing the door. "How's it going?"

"Damned cold out," Doyle told him, taking off his leather jacket. Taking a sniff, the flat smelled wonderful. "But it's nice in here. Smells good. What's for dinner?"

"First things first." Bodie closed his arms around Ray and kissed him affectionately.

Ray loved to be kissed, and kissing Bodie was an extra special treat. That lovely, wide pouting mouth fit so well against his own, he'd often thought it must have been created just for his pleasure. Bodie's tongue swabbed the inside of his mouth and then retreated, knowing he would follow and return the wet caresses.

As he started to thrust his hard cock gently against his mate, Bodie pulled back. "Not quite yet."

"Can't dinner wait?"

"Not this dinner."

"What's so special?"

"Just sit down. Do you want a drink?"

"Lager?"

"Back in a tick," Bodie said, heading for the kitchen.

Ray settled into the comfortable tan leather sofa in the lounge. As it usually was, the room was very neat and clean. Two overstuffed chairs were arranged adjacent to the sofa with almost a protractor's precision. And you'd never find a dust mote on Bodie's wood floors, unlike his own which were in constant need of cleaning.

"Here you go." Bodie handed him a bottle and settled down next to him. "It will be ready in a couple of moments."

"What will be ready?" Doyle was really starting to wonder about this dinner. It smelled terrific, what ever it was.

"Dinner."

"Bodie, what's for dinner?"

"You'll see."

Ray sighed and took a long draught of his lager. Before he could say anything else, the buzzer in the kitchen went off. Bodie rose to turn it off. "Go ahead and sit down at the table."

"Sure." Ray hadn't noticed the table had been set with good dishes, candles, and a white table cloth, a really nice one at that. He wondered briefly if someone else was joining them, but there were only two settings. What was Bodie doing? He'd never made this much fuss before -- not even the first time. "Can I help?" Doyle called through the doorway.

"Light the candles on the table."

Humouring Bodie, Ray did as he was told. The flickering light cast a pleasing glow on the room and nicely set table.

Bodie came out carrying a tray with a thick steak in sauce on it. Doyle didn't recognise it, but it smelled heavenly. "Dare I ask what it is?"

"Chateaubriand, in red wine sauce."

"Oh." Doyle had no idea what it was.

"It's good, trust me."

Doyle smiled. "Always."

Bodie made several more trips into the kitchen, retrieving vegetables, potatoes and an incredibly good wine.

It was delicious, the best steak Doyle had ever eaten. Amused, stuffed and very mellow, he sat back, rubbing his very full belly. "You know, Bodie, I was a sure thing."

"What do you mean?"

"All of this," he said, waving his hand over the remains of one of the most exquisite meals he'd ever eaten. "It wasn't necessary."

"You didn't like it?" Bodie said, hurt.

"No, that's not what I meant at all. This was probably the best meal I've ever eaten, but if you were going for seduction, I was already seduced. You could have saved yourself a bundle."

"I want this to be special."

"It is. Just 'cause it's you and me."

Bodie smiled at him, warming his heart. "Yeah."

"Yeah."

The silence that settled was comfortable. After a couple of minutes, the anticipation started to build in Doyle and he had to move. Picking up his plate and silverware, he headed towards the kitchen. "You produced the meal, I'll clear."

As he turned away from the sink, Bodie was standing right behind him, startling him.

"Hey, sorry," Bodie said, catching him with one arm when he would have stumbled back. Dumping his dishes in the sink with his other hand, Bodie embraced Doyle, nuzzling his ear. "You smell so good, sunshine."

"I smell like sweat." Doyle lifted his sleeve to his nose. "Could really use a shower."

"Why not have one?" Bodie suggested, letting him loose. "I can clean up here and meet you in the bedroom."

"Why don't you leave it until tomorrow and join me?" Doyle kissed him softly, lingering over the lovely mouth for a moment.

"I could be convinced." Bodie licked at Ray's lip, like a cat lapping at cream.

"Oh?" Doyle pressed up against him, rocking his hard groin against Bodie. "What would convince you?"

Bodie wrapped his arms around Ray and held him tightly. "Okay. I'm convinced. Let's hit the shower."

---

A little while later they were naked, with warm water sousing down over them, kissing languidly. Doyle moved his body slowly against Bodie's, causing him to murmur in appreciation and slide his hands down his back. It was lovely to feel the big hands move over him so delicately, as if he'd break or something. There was such tenderness in Bodie that one could never know he could also be the hardest, most cold-blooded of killers. But not with Ray. There was a secret side to Bodie that Ray knew only he saw. It was the dreamer as well as the lover.

"Come on, mate," Bodie said, moving back a fraction of an inch. "If you keep that up, I'll never make it to bed and I've got things planned for you tonight."

"Don't I know it."

"Are you okay with it? We could wait."

"Don't be a prat. You've been waiting too long already."

"Nah, I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. We got the whole rest of our lives, there's no rush."

"Been ready for a while."

"Why didn't you say?"

"Was waiting for you to ask."

Bodie shook his head, resigned, and kissed him again. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"Hmm." Doyle let Bodie soap him slowly, carefully, with a great attention to details. Starting with his shoulders, Bodie ran the flannel over his chest, taking care to clean each nipple separately and slowly, moving the rough cloth in a slow circle around the areola. The peaks came up hard and Doyle couldn't hold back a groan of intense pleasure. Next, his arms and hands, each finger was meticulously washed and then rinsed under the spray. Ray had never thought his hands were very sensuous, but Bodie's gentle care made each touch erotic. If this continued Ray wondered how he would stay upright. Going on to his belly, Bodie applied the cloth in slow, sweeping circles, soothing as well as cleaning.

Dropping to his knees in front of Ray, Bodie bestowed a single kiss on his straining cockhead, but otherwise ignored the needful creature.

"Bodie, please...." Ray whimpered, thrusting his hips forward entreatingly.

"All in good time, my son." Bodie chuckled wickedly, shifting to move the flannel down Ray's long legs. When he tried to lift one of Ray's feet, Ray was forced to lean both hands on Bodie's shoulders to keep his balance.

"Hey, I'm gonna fall."

"Nah, just hang on. I'm almost done here." Bodie let down his right foot, then urged up the left.

"Finished?"

"Yeah, now turn around and let me get your back."

With an indulgent sigh, Ray turned around and leant both hands on the cool tiles. Kissing the back of his neck before he went on to clean his back, Bodie used gentle, soapy fingers to massage his muscles. A rough cloth made its way lingeringly down into the crease of his arse, rubbing over his anus several times before leaving. Ray pushed back against the flannel. "That feels good."

"S'posed to," Bodie assured him, returning two soapy fingers to the entrance to his body, pressing in slightly and then pulling away.

"Don't tease," Doyle said, a thousand nerve endings jumping with each touch.

"Okay, sunshine. Let's get out."

"I haven't had a turn at washing you," Doyle complained, turning back to face his lover.

"Had a shower before you came over."

"That's all right, then." Doyle grinned at him, turning off the water.

---

Wrapped in a towel, more for warmth than modesty, Ray sauntered into the bedroom, a be-robed Bodie following close behind. Ray had been very amused by the huge, king-sized bed which dominated the room, the first time he'd seen it. Bodie had told him he liked a lot of space when he slept, or did anything else for that matter. Now being able to attest to the pleasure he'd found in that big bed, Ray was inclined to agree with Bodie.

Bodie must have turned up the heat, because the room was quite warm. Very thoughtful, that.

"Thanks, mate," Doyle said, taking off the towel and throwing it over a nearby chair.

Bodie snickered. "Haven't done anything yet."

"The heat."

"Was nothing, know how you don't like the cold."

"Yeah, like dinner was nothing."

"No. Dinner was expensive, but you're worth it."

"Where'd you get it anyway? I know you didn't cook it." Doyle stripped the duvet off the bed, piling it at the foot.

"That French place over in Chelsea," Bodie answered, taking off his robe.

All thoughts of dinner disappeared from Doyle's mind as he beheld his beautiful lover. All white skin and hard muscles, was Bodie, and Ray appreciated every inch of him. Licking his lips he started for his mate, but Bodie held out his hand.

"Down boy, tonight's my turn."

"I can help, can't I?" Ray tried to pout, but it never worked as well as when Bodie did it. "We're a partnership. No tops or bottoms here."

"Well, there's a quite lovely bottom right there," Bodie came back, reaching out to stroke Doyle's buttocks lightly.

"Bodie, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, Ray. Don't worry so much. I'm just going to try to make it a bit easier."

"How?" Wondering what Bodie was about this time.

"By sucking you off first, and then a lot of time spent on the warm-up exercises."

Ray looked at him, "Warm-up exercises?"

"Finger-fucking."

"Oh."

"What? You like that, or at least you did two nights ago."

"Yeah, I like it fine."

Bodie sighed loudly. "Come on sunshine, get into bed."

Ray lay down on the bed and held his arms out for Bodie to join him, but Bodie had other ideas. He just stood there and looked down at Ray for a long time. "You are so beautiful." His tone was almost reverent.

"You're the one who's gorgeous, love, not me."

"Then you're blind." Bodie slid into bed next to him and slipped his arms around Ray. With Bodie kissing him deeply, all thoughts of disagreeing faded to a distant corner of Ray's mind. The lovely mouth moved over his face and neck, sucking and licking, and Doyle squirmed under the tender assault.

Bodie nuzzled his chest hair with his nose, snuffling loudly and turning to lick quickly at one of his hard nipples. "Love that hairy chest."

"Mmmm," he murmured as his lover bit softly in the turgid flesh. Arching back, he tried to give greater access to his chest.

"Don't want to favour one side," Bodie murmured, switching his mouth to the other nipple.

"Course not," Doyle told him breathlessly, delighting in the ministrations Bodie was applying.

Moving downward, Bodie didn't keep Doyle waiting, his talented mouth closing over the red, straining cock. Ray bucked up under the tender loving, unable to keep still.

"Boooooodieeeee...." Doyle couldn't help crying out as he came hard in the warm, moist mouth. Ray panted, trying to get his breath back, wondering if he'd ever move again.

Slowly, life seeped back into him and he realised Bodie was holding him tightly, looking very indulgently down at him. Ray smiled up at him. "Was lovely."

"Going to get better, I promise."

"I'm not going to get any more relaxed."

"Then over you get, my sweet," Bodie said, helping to roll him over. "Lovely. Just lovely."

Doyle looked back at him over his shoulder. "Nutter."

"Yeah." Reaching out, Bodie stroked his fingers very lightly down Ray's back.

Wiggling, Doyle laughed. "Tickles."

"This won't," Bodie promised, leaning over to kiss the back of Ray's neck.

"Mmmmm."

Continuing down his back, Bodie kiss-licked his spinal column, smoothed his hands over his buttocks, slowly caressing him.

As the blunt fingers parted the cheeks of his arse, Ray knew a moment of sudden fear, but took a breath to relax. He trusted his lover and knew he would make this new path as enjoyable as the other ones he'd taken.

A warm wet tongue followed the finger into the crease and Doyle jumped nearly out of his skin. What an incredible sensation! "Oh lord, Bodie, Bodie!" Ray cried incoherently as Bodie continued to rim him, lingering.

"Ready for more, sweetheart?" Bodie asked, lifting his head.

"Yeah."

Reaching for the bedside table, Bodie retrieved the tube of gel, tossing it up and catching it. Opening it, he squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers and, parting Ray's cheeks, he pressed one digit in to him deeply. Doyle groaned, well used to one or two fingers by now. A second and then third was added, causing Ray to thrash wildly and press back against them. Bodie knew exactly where to press to create the most extraordinary response from his body.

"Shhh," Bodie soothed, removing his fingers. "Ready for the real thing?"

Blinking up at him, Doyle nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Good," Bodie told him, lifting his hips and helping him get his knees under him, his arse presented to his lover.

Moving behind him, Bodie positioned himself against Ray's entrance and pressed in slowly. It hurt as the cockhead broke through the tight muscle, but it was not unbearable. As Bodie moved deeper into him, an electric charge sung through Ray's body. He nearly screamed out with the pleasure of it.

"Bodie! Do that again."

"What? This?"

"God, yes! Harder."

Bodie pumped into him hard, creating wave after wave of exhilaration to crash over him. A hand reached around him and started to stroke his now very excited cock. Every time Bodie pressed forward, his cock was pushed into the tunnel of Bodie's hand. No time at all seemed to pass before Ray was coming hard.

When he became aware again, he was lying flat out, wearing Bodie across his back. Not unpleasant, but the sod was heavy. "Bodie, mate."

"Hmmm," Bodie muttered, shifting out and off of him. "Sorry."

Taking Ray into his arms, Bodie cuddled him close. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine, if a bit sore."

"Need to get you cleaned up a bit."

"Wouldn't hurt."

Bodie levered himself out of bed and then returned with a wet flannel. He tenderly cleaned up the mess he'd made, adding some antiseptic cream as well. "How's it feel?"

"Sore."

"Sorry," Bodie sounded guilty.

"Was worth a bit of soreness, mate. Was just lovely."

"Glad you enjoyed it." Bodie snuggled down next to him, taking him back into his strong arms.

"Yeah." Ray's eyes were closing, he just couldn't stay awake. "Love you," Doyle murmured, as he fell into a deep sleep.

---

Warm and safe in his lover's arms, Ray came back to consciousness the next morning. The big bed and its occupants were bathed in bright sunshine. Snuggling closer to Bodie's chest, Doyle lifted his head slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the wide, pouting mouth.

"Morning, love," he whispered when the long black lashes lifted.

"Yeah." Bodie's arms tightened around him and he found himself on his back with his much heavier lover pressing him into the mattress. Kissing him hungrily, Bodie pushed his very hard cock into Doyle's stomach, but he didn't mind since he was doing the same.

Sometime later, in the aftermath of sweet loving, Doyle lay against Bodie's side.

"What a way to start the day," Bodie remarked, his big hands stroking up and down Ray's flanks idly.

"Was nice. I could learn to live with this."

"I thought you had."

"I meant every day."

"Are you asking me to live with you?" Bodie stopped stroking and looked down at him, a very pensive look on his face. "Did you mean it last night?" There was such a note of hopefulness in the quiet tone, Doyle wondered what he'd said.

"Mean what?"

"Said you loved me."

"Slipped out, didn't it?" Doyle was embarrassed. So far they'd not declared their feelings for one another, and he'd never been sure what Bodie wanted in that regard.

"Didn't answer either question."

Cornered, Ray sat up. If he was going to be rejected, he'd just as soon do it with his clothes on.

Bodie sat up as well, "Where you going?"

"If we're going to have a serious discussion, I'd like to be dressed to do it."

"Why?"

"That's a silly question."

"Well?"

"Let's get dressed."

"No. Was all warm and cozy with you here."

As Ray tried to get out of bed, Bodie reached out to pull him back, wrapping his arms around Ray and holding him tightly. "Answer the question. Do you love me?"

"You know the answer."

"I guess I do, but I want to hear you say it."

"You haven't said it either."

"Say it, please."

"I love you, Bodie."

"I love you too."

"Good."

"Now, about living together -- you think the Cow's going to let us?" Bodie wondered, dropping his head to kiss Ray's mouth.

"Mmmm. He didn't take the idea of us being lovers so badly. Did he?"

"Nah, was surprised was all."

"Why? Cowley's as tolerant as men come," Ray pointed out, wiggling to get Bodie to loosen the tight embrace.

"Yeah, but we're his agents. He might be tolerant in general, with us he's a lot stricter."

"Maybe." Doyle considered it for a moment. "I say we ask him if we can share a flat."

"Happily ever after, Ray."

"Absolutely."

-- THE END --

Originally published in Motet for New Voices in B and D, Keynote Press, 1996