Noses Are the Breaks


(A sequel to The New Year Nose)

"B-Bodie-mate, promise me you'll put gardenias on me bier when I go," gasped the curly-haired man as he dug a bony elbow into his best mate.

(Snuffle, snuffle) "Wha', what'd you say, Ray? Was half-asleep-- finally!" A hint of frustration tinged the bigger man's voice. Through sneezes and coughs, he had been struggling to sleep, despite the heavy breathing in his blocked left ear.

"Said, I want gardenias on me bier. Feel like I'm dyin'!" Doyle complained.

"Why would you want flowers in your beer, mate? 'Sides I don't think I could find 'em in December," Bodie wearily pointed out.

"January, 's January now, lover. "member, clock chimed midnight." Doyle snuggled closer to the incredibly warm human next to him. "Nice 'n warm you are." Ray's cock tucked neatly into Bodie's moist crevice.

"What'r you doin' back there, sunshine?" Bodie started to raise his head to look, but the room swirled alarmingly. "Ray,think we're havin' an earthquake."

"Achoo!" Ray replied. "Don' think London has earthquakes, sweetums."

A rumbling cough in Bodie's chest took the edge off his anguished, "Sweetums! Nobody calls me that! (cough, cough) Not even you!"

A sniffle of sorrow reached his ears. "S-sorry. Figured you wouldn't (cough, cough) mind, seein' this is our first night t'gether."

Bodie felt like his stomach had been kicked. Soothingly, he conceded, "All right, just t'night. 'Course we're not really t'gether. You bein' sick 'n me bein' sick."

"Might manage somethin' if you want, Bodie-love. Jus' need a tad of encourage- (achoo) ment." Ray's hand reached around to touch a bare nipple. When it tightened up, he gave a gasp of excitement. "Turn on your back (cough, cough) so I can do you proper."

Gingerly, Bodie did so even though it meant that his hooter clogged up on both sides instead of just one. When Ray's luscious mouth began to suckle at the hardened nub, he realized that he didn't care what his nose did at that moment.

"Nrrmph! Bleech!"

"Did you say somethin', sunshine?" Bodie turned to look at Ray. The green eyes were bulging and the pink tongue was fully extended from his mouth. "What's the matter?"

"You moron, din't tell me you put some kind of rub on your chest, did you?"

Bodie flushed, and not with fever. "Me mum swore by the stuff. Every winter she nearly took me hide off with it. Said it'd keep me healthy!" Bodie explained.

"Think I've been poisoned! Need to clean me teeth and gargle." The naked man popped out of bed, belying his near-death statement to head to the loo. Even from the bedroom, the ex-merc could hear the repetitive sounds of gargling and gargling and gargling. Finally, it stopped and he felt his skinny partner climb back into the bed. "Prob'ly get pneumonia, I will."

Bodie rasped out a scream as the icy size 9s touched his size 8s. Doyle gave him a watery smile as he managed a whispered, "S-sorry."

"Don't mention it," Bodie sighed. "Plannin' to settle down now, are you?"

"Was hopin' to have a little nibble 'fore 'm too old to care!" Feeling rotten didn't make for a silver tongue on the part of Raymond Doyle.

"Din't put the rub everywhere, Ray." Bodie tried to make the suggestion sound sexy, but it only sent him into another paroxysm of coughing.

"Not sure 'm in the mood for it now," Doyle announced. "Might just as well get some sleep 'n try in the morning." (Snuffle, snuffle)

Both men lay there quietly for a time. The only sounds were of stuffed noses, rumbling chests and whimpers when sore throats swallowed. Each man could feel the magic of their first night together slipping away. Impulsively, they both reached for each other at the same time. Probocises slammed together as yowls of pain filled the air.

On 4th January 3.7 and 4.5 put in an appearance at CI5 headquarters. Their colds were now only shadows of what they had been, unlike the still prominent bruising under blue and green eyes. Behind their backs their colleagues questioned what must have occurred during their time-off, but no one dared to ask. The popular theory--put forth by Anson--was that one of the partners had attempted to steal the bird of the other, leading to blows. McCabe and Lucas had promptly started taking bets on the imminent demise of the legendary partnership.

In the days that followed no such break-up was forthcoming so life returned to normal in the New Year, except that when Accommodations rearranged the scheduling of lodgings for the next period, Bodie and Doyle were assigned to the same flat. Unfortunately, their first invited guest couldn't make it. George Cowley was at home with a cold--and a bottle of scotch.

-- THE END --

December 2004

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