Ama me Fideliter

by &

Ama me fideliter! Fidem meam noto: De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota
- Love me faithfully!/ See how I am faithful:/ With all my heart/ And all my soul/ I am with you/ Though I am far away. Anon.

Cowley stormed out of his office. "BO-DAY!" He bellowed down the corridor, his voice echoing around him. The agent in question sheepishly appeared from the rest room.

"My office. NOW!" Cowley ordered. "Not you, Doyle." He spoke to the curly haired man who had poked his head round his partner, and now promptly disappeared again, relieved that he wasn't in the firing line.

"Close the door, 3.7." He fixed Bodie with a steely gaze, that would have even the most hardened man quaking in his boots. "You deliberately disobeyed my orders, 3.7. Your flagrant insubordination cost the operation. Months of work ruined, because YOU," another glare "think you are above following orders. A foul up. There is no other way to describe your actions today. Damned fool! Can you think of one reason why I shouldn't throw you out of the organisation right now?"

Bodie, stood to attention like the soldier that he was, swallowed nervously. He'd been in some scrapes before, had been hauled across the carpet for them too, but even he could see how close he was sailing to the wind right now. He enjoyed working for CI5, it was everything in his life to him. He realised that Cowley's last sentence was his chance at redemption, if he played it correctly.

"No, sir." He replied meekly.

Cowley watched the emotions flitting across his face, watched him struggle to bite back any hot-headed reply that would have him out on his ear, to keep control and reply appropriately, subordinately. If Bodie hadn't been so good at his job, one of his very best, most dedicated and loyal men, if he wasn't the other half of his number one team, and if, and here was the nub, if Cowley wasn't so fond of him, he would have terminated him immediately. If - such a small, but powerful word. He sighed, relaxing slightly.

"I am going to give you a chance to redeem yourself, 3.7. An opportunity to wipe the slate clean. I have two tasks for you, and you must choose which one to do. I must have your answer right here, right now. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Your choices are either a special solo minder job for tonight, or a month in Records."

Bodie blinked. An evening's work versus a month of clerical work? 'There must be a catch.' "Sir?"

"You heard me, Bodie. Which one is it to be?"

"What are the details of tonight's job, sir?"

"I will brief you if, and only if, you accept that mission."

Bodie blinked again. There was a catch, he just didn't know what. Yet. Still, a whole month off active duty, stuck in Records. He'd rather have all his teeth pulled out without anaesthetic.

"I'd like to accept tonight's mission, sir."

Cowley smiled wolfishly. He'd set Bodie up, and he'd walked exactly the path he wanted.

"Very well, 3.7. My niece is in town, and she needs to go to a dinner tonight." Bodie started to relax, stood "at ease", then came the catch. "She needs someone to babysit her small boy. He's three, almost four. I'm sure that even you can manage this job successfully. Oh, and I want a full report of today's job in by first thing in the morning too. You can work on it tonight."

Bodie opened his mouth to protest, then caught the look on Cowley's face and promptly closed it again. He wasn't forgiven yet. "Yes, sir."

Cowley handed him a piece of paper. "Very well. Here's the address. Be there at 19.00 sharp. Understood?" Bodie nodded. "And no foul ups. Dismissed."

Bodie left the office, and closed the door gently behind him. He leaned his back against the wall, tipped his head back, and exhaled. Talk about close.

"Bodie?" The sound of his partner's soft voice caused him to look round. "You okay? You're not...You know?"

Bodie did know. He shook his head slightly. "It was a close squeak though. And you'll never guess what my penance is." He quickly filled Doyle in, who started to laugh until tears ran down his cheeks. "Glad you find it so funny, Raymond. I don't. What do I know about looking after little kids?"

"You've only got yourself to blame. I'd count my blessings that you're the favoured son, if I were you. Plus, seven o'clock should be about bedtime for the kid. You'll probably have all evening quiet to watch TV or something."

Bodie brightened at this. Yeah, the kid would be fast asleep, and he could get his report out of the way, and put his feet up. Seemed a fair deal, but his sixth sense told him there could still be a catch. Cowley wouldn't sucker him into this by the threat of a month in records for no reason. The Old Man was far too wily.

When he arrived as instructed that evening, he found out how right his sixth sense was.

Cowley's niece thanked him, left details of where she could be contacted, ran through points she felt he might need to know, including the generous supper she had left for him, and left.

Little Charlie was out of bed as soon as she had gone.

Bodie took him back to his bedroom, but Charlie refused to lie down. He read him a story, but as he got up to leave, Charlie demanded another story. Bodie put his foot down when a third story was asked for. He knew when he was being taken for a fool, and left the room.

He went back downstairs, and got the paperwork out to do the report. Suddenly, there was a loud crash from upstairs.

"What the...!" He muttered, as he ran back into Charlie's room. He couldn't believe the mess that beheld his eyes. Charlie had got what looked like every toy in his room out. There was hardly any floor space to be seen. He quickly ascertained that the bang had been caused by Charlie pulling his toy box over to get the toys out faster. Charlie was oblivious to the fright he had just given his babysitter, and sat there, unharmed, playing with his trains.

"Come on, Charlie, let's tidy this lot up, before Mummy comes back," he cajoled.

They started off well, but after a couple of minutes, Charlie was bored of tidying up, and Bodie was left to finish it off while he played. Finally, the room was presentable, and Bodie put Charlie back into bed. A further story was requested, and Bodie agreed to just one, after which he left.

Five minutes later, his concentration was broken by loud banging through the ceiling. As if he was on a spring, he bounded back upstairs. Charlie had managed to turn his light on, and was using his bed as a trampoline.

"Come on, Charlie. Back into bed," Bodie pleaded. Charlie just regarded him cheekily. He had this man's measure all right.

The rest of the evening was marked out similarly. Every few minutes, Charlie would find some new way of causing mischief, and Bodie would be up the stairs to the boy's bedroom like a proverbial yoyo. The boy's ingenuity took him by surprise, and he began to feel completely out of his depth. He found that it was impossible to reason with a three year old, that the words just wouldn't come. Worse still, the sodding kid always had to have the last word.

"Bloody marvellous!" He muttered under his breath as he removed Charlie for the umpteenth time from some piece of furniture or other he had scaled with the competence of a monkey. "I can take on the world's worst terrorists and have them shaking, but a three year old is running rings around me. Damn Cowley!"

Finally, Charlie quietened down about 10.30. Bodie just slumped into a chair, too exhausted to do anything, even to touch the supper that had been laid out for him, and any hope of doing the report was well and truly out of the window. Finally, Charlie's mother returned home to relieve Bodie of his duty. He was dozing in the chair, where he had slumped earlier. She left him undisturbed for a couple of minutes whilst she went to check on Charlie. She noticed with some surprise that Charlie was sleeping peacefully, like an angel, and that his room was immaculately tidy. She remembered her Uncle George's warning about the babysitter he was sending, and made a mental note to tell him what an excellent job he had done. When she saw the supper untouched, she wondered if Uncle George had the wrong man in mind when he had spoken to her. A very hearty appetite, was how he had put it. Still, looking at dark hair, the cute upturned nose, the incredibly long lashes, and the pouting lips, she had to admit he was something of the lady-killer described. She shook him gently to wake him up.

"Hope Charlie's been no trouble for you, he can be a bit of a rascal at times."

"No, absolutely not. He's been an angel," Bodie lied glibly. He scooped his things together, and left.

Next morning, he took his report into Cowley as ordered, having stayed up most of the night working on it. Cowley noticed the fatigue evident on Bodie's face, but said nothing. A good lesson learned, he felt.

As Bodie opened the door to leave, Cowley spoke. "My niece thanks you, by the way. She was most glowing in her praise for the job you did. She said anytime you fancy babysitting, to let her know."

Bodie's face was unreadable, but as he left the office mumbled to himself. "Not bloody likely!" Cowley heard and chuckled to himself.

Doyle was waiting for Bodie as he left Cowley's office, and seeing the strain and exhaustion on his partner's face, he ushered him into the rest room and made him a drink. Bodie filled him in on the gory details of how a three year old had made an idiot out of one of the country's top criminal agents, and Doyle laughed so hard, he felt his tight jeans were sure to split. He wiped the tears from his face.

"It's not bloody funny, Doyle. The kid's a monster! Actually, he reminds me a bit of me as a nipper. Thank God I've not got kids. Not likely to after last night, either. Think I'll turn celibate. Or gay."

Doyle cackled with renewed laughter at that thought.

"I'll tell you one thing, though. Next time the Old Man pulls a stunt like that, I'll take the month in Records every time!"

Several weeks after the near debacle of Bodie's, they were both at Ray's flat. Soft background music was playing, and they were slumped on the settee, full of good food and better alcohol.

Deep in thought, Ray cast Bodie a searching glance.



"You know when you did that babysitting?"

"Yeah, don't bloody remind me." Bodie hid his face in his hands and shuddered visibly.

"Well, no, I wasn't gonna say anything about that - but, do you remember what you said after it?"

Bodie raised his head and frowned at his friend. "Huh? What? I said many things after it, Ray. What're you going on about now?"

Taking a deep fortifying breath, Ray continued. "You said you'd turn celibate. Or gay. Well, didn't you?"

A gleam appeared in Bodie's blue eyes as he remembered and he nodded. "So I did. What about it?"

"D'you fancy giving it a try?" Ray held his breath and waiting. He was just drunk enough to ask the question he'd been wondering about ever since that particular day.

Bodie winked at him. "Celibacy? Naa, doesn't appeal, really."

Groaning, Ray elbowed him. "You nutter. Not celibacy, the other part."

Bodie was feeling sleepy and didn't react at first. Not until a second elbow was shoved hard into his side. "Hey, 'm gonna have a bruise there if you're not careful, mate."

"Just answer the question, then."

Rolling his eyes, Bodie turned heavy-lidded midnight blue eyes on his partner. As he did so, Ray opened his own big green eyes as wide as he could. He knew they appealed to women - or so he had been told - and he was hoping it would have the same effect on his partner.

The two men stared at one another for several minutes, not speaking, not moving. Finally, Bodie broke the spell.

"You have beautiful eyes, sunshine." Aghast, he closed his mouth rapidly. "Um, I mean...what was the question again, Ray? I can't remember what you said - must have had too much alcohol, but then again, can you ever have too mu-."

A single finger was laid against his lips, and a soft smile lit Ray's handsome features. "You're babbling, Bodie. I think you already answered my question."

Leaning forward, his intention was to lay a soft kiss on those wonderful pouting lips. However, the moment they met, two strong arms swept around his body and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Pulling apart only for oxygen, Bodie moved until he was laid flat on the settee, Ray settled on top of him. Curling one of Ray's curls round his finger and enjoying the feel of his partner on top of him, Bodie gazed tenderly at Ray.

"So, sweetheart, not that I'm complaining, mind, but what gave you this idea, then?"

Busy nuzzling Bodie's neck, Ray gave it one last lick before answering.

"You did." He raised his head, looking slightly anxious. " aren't having second thoughts are you?"

Thrusting his hips forward brought Bodie's considerable arousal into contact with Ray's substantial erection, and Ray whimpered.

Pulling Ray's head back down, Bodie whispered into his ear.

"Does that feel like second thoughts?"

Shoving a hand down to press carefully but firmly against it brought a gasp of delight from the dark haired man. Enchanted, Ray responded.

"Oh no, sunshine. That feels like paradise."

Sunlight streaking in through curtains hastily closed the night before shone on Ray Doyle's face, and the warmth of them embracing his face teased him, penetrating his sleep.

He floated gently in the nether world between sleep and wakefulness. His head throbbed, he was aware of that much. He must have drunk a considerable amount of alcohol last night. He could barely remember anything about it. All he could recall was Bodie coming round for a meal. He couldn't even recollect Bodie leaving. A slight snuffling sound pulled him nearer to the surface of consciousness. He was pretty certain he hadn't made the sound. But who else could it be?

Suddenly, like icy cold fingers plucking at him, a memory pieced the pleasant haziness. He could hear his voice last night probing Bodie. '"D'you fancy giving it a try?"' then '"You nutter. Not celibacy, the other part."' He rose a bit nearer to awareness, like a drowning man desperately trying to reach air. Another memory, of Bodie reciprocating his advances, their passion spilling over into a physical union of lust. With a final effort, he broke through the surface with a gasp. His eyes flew open and he flushed at the crowding memories. He stealthily stretched one leg out, touched warm flesh with his foot. He was definitely not alone. That meant that the noise he had heard must be Bodie. In his bedroom, in his bed.

As the reality sunk in, he began to panic. What had he, had they done? More importantly, what were they going to do about it? What was Bodie going to make of it all? How would he react when he remembered, when he realised that he, Ray Doyle, had invoked this upon them? Misery began to flood through him, swirling together with the panic.

"Lie still!" Bodie's drowsy voice shocked him out of his reverie.


"I said, lie still. It's like lying next to a bag of worms. Particularly active worms at that. You're rocking the bed, and my stomach is feeling queasy enough as it is."

Silence resumed, then Bodie's breathing became more rhythmic again. Ray said a few silent words of thanks. Bodie obviously hadn't remembered yet. He allowed his eyes to close again, they felt very heavy.

"RAY! LIE STILL!" Bodie hissed. "What's bothering you, anyway?"

Doyle kept his eyes shut. "Nothing," he lied.

"Liar!" Bodie's voice taunted him. "I'm starving. What are you going to make me for breakfast? I want none of that health food, either. Muesli - ugh! Like rabbit mix. A nice fry up, that's what I need." He stretched languorously. "God, my arse is sore - feels like it's had a ruddy great cock up it!"

Doyle's eyes flew open with shock and fear, straight to Bodie's face. Bodie was looking at him, those midnight blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

" remember then? About last night... what we did?"

"Of course I remember, you berk! What do you take me for? A nancy who can't take his drink? Is that what you've been fretting about? You great twit! You're not having second thoughts, are you?" Bodie's words gently mocked him, echoing what he himself had said last night before they had made very needy, very physical love. Relief flooded through him. He ran his hand across his rapidly growing erection, which was in the process of making tents out of the covers, and reaching for Bodie's hand, placed it on his now straining cock.

"Does that feel like second thoughts?" he teased. Bodie shook his head, a big smirk across his face.

"I'm very weak with hunger. Make my breakfast, and then we'll try it all again. Properly, without the Dutch courage this time! I have a feast of love lined up for you."

"Promises, promises! I'll hold you to that!" Ray grinned, as he exited the bed.

Breakfast finished, Ray was delicately sipping at his rapidly cooling tea. Darting the occasional look to where Bodie - his lover - was sitting, he was unsure how to proceed next. Yes, so Bodie had asked to be fed and then they would - well, continue what they'd started last night, so Ray presumed - but Bodie had said nothing else since sitting down at the kitchen table.

As Ray glanced over once more, he was stunned to see the blue eyes smouldering at him, desire and lust shining out for all to see. Before he could move, Bodie was out of his chair and reaching for his hand.

"C'mon Ray, let me love you."

Ray let himself be pulled up off the chair and into a warm embrace, shivering as Bodie placed hot, open-mouthed kisses onto his shoulder and neck. Still silent, Ray felt his hand being held, Bodie's strong fingers entwining with his, as they walked back into the bedroom.

Surprised, Ray looked once again at his partner. "Wha...when did you make the bed up?"

Bodie winked at him. "When you were in the kitchen, and you thought I was in the shower."

Ray leant closer and sniffed. "Well, you smell clean enough."

"Oh thank you so much, Rover. Would you like to cock your leg up and mark your territory too?" Bodie laughed.

"Absolutely!" With that, Ray took the initiative, shoved Bodie onto the clean sheets, and started mapping out Bodie's body with his hands and mouth. Taking his time, he noticed the soft creamy skin and even though Ray often teased his partner about his eating habits, he wasn't surprised to see a toned stomach.

Soft brown nipples stood out on his almost hair free chest, and Ray reached out and softly brushed his fingers across them. As Bodie whimpered with delight, Ray lowered his head and let his tongue ravish and nibble them into hard points.

"Ray! Stop, lover. Please." The pleading voice held a warning, and Ray removed his lips straight away.

"Too close?"

Bodie could only nod, his fists bunched into the sheets, obviously trying to stop himself coming too soon. As Ray watched, he gently stroked the soft, downy thighs, careful not to veer close to Bodie's erection, now weeping copiously. As Bodie exhaled, Ray applied himself back to his task, this time focussing on the profusion of dark curls that was somewhat in contrast to the rest of his torso.

Nuzzling the curls, Ray inhaled the musky smell, his senses reeling with the scent and sound of his lover. Swiping the head of his cock with a finger, Ray tasted the droplet of precome, and then in one smooth movement, engulfed him with his eager mouth.

Bodie's moans increased, his hands caressing Ray's curls not holding him down. When Ray's fuckable mouth captured his cock in one hot swoop, Bodie thought he was going to hit the ceiling with pleasure.

Ray, however, had something different in mind. Removing his mouth, he grinned at Bodie's dismayed expression.

"Shut up, and lay still." he commanded, reaching for the ky-jelly.

Anointing Bodie's cock with the jelly, he smeared his own fingers with the stuff, then he slowly inserted first one then two fingers into his own body, stretching himself.

Bodie could hardly believe his eyes - his own sensually seductive golly was actually fingering himself in readiness. Moaning, his head thunked back onto the pillows, his hand clutching at the base of his cock to prevent his orgasm, such was Ray's little floorshow.

"Bodie, you okay?" Ray asked, concerned.

"Fuck, yes. You little devil, you almost made me come - again!"

"Really?" A wicked grin appeared on the handsome face. "I can always continue..."

A loud groan of protest echoed around the room and Bodie snagged his hand. "No, Ray. Please...I...I think I'm ready. Fuck me, Ray."

Ray grinned - oh Bodie was gonna get fucked, just not in the way he thought. He straddled the supine body, hands caressing the flushed chest, teasing the nipples once again. Provocatively, he rubbed against Bodie's erection, loving the feel of it between his cheeks. Then, swiftly, before Bodie could even think, he raised his body and lowered himself in one slow movement down onto his lover.

"Oohh fuck, Ray... Ray... Jesus, I'm gonna..."

"No! No, Bodie, you are not going to come yet. D'you hear me?"

Bodie gritted his teeth and clenched all his muscles, fighting his orgasm once again. "Okay, Ray. But, God, please?" he pleaded.

Ray gave him one last tantalising look then moved, slowly at first but building up into a strong rhythm, feeling Bodie's thighs meeting him in an upward force, their bodies perfectly in tune with one another.

It couldn't last, and, with one final thrust - one final descent, Bodie let out a howl, tensed his body, and sent his hot liquid spurting into the hot, tight channel, gasping his lover's name constantly throughout his orgasm.

Ray wasn't far off, and the moment Bodie touched his own distended organ, Ray came - his own creamy seed shooting out over Bodie's abdomen - and he collapsed down onto the sticky body, whispering passionate, ardent words of love.

Lying atop Bodie, head tucked into his neck, Ray came back down to earth. He felt Bodie remove himself gently from his body with reluctance and couldn't stop his own soft semi-protest. As Ray rolled off him, they both winced as their sticky bodies separated with a little pain.

The two cuddled up together. Bodie had his arms around the slender figure and Ray pillowed his head on Bodie's broad shoulder.

"Fuck, love that was wonderful." Bodie whispered eventually, when his breath returned to normal.

"A feast of love you wanted, a bloody harvest you got! Are you...was that okay for you?" Still uncertain, Ray needed - wanted - the confirmation.

Opening his eyes, Bodie grinned down at his sybaritic lover.

"Okay? No, it wasn't okay." Before Ray could yank his defensive shields down into place, Bodie continued, arms tightening around the stiffening body. "It was bloody fantastic, mate. Almost as good as last night!"

Ray relaxed and poked a finger into Bodie's side. "Hah, very funny."

"'s not funny, 's true. However, we'll have fun learning, won't we? Next time..."

"Next time? There's going to be a next time?"

Bodie kissed him before continuing. "Yeah, definitely. Lots of next times - in fact..." he paused to make sure Ray was looking at him, "how does forever sound?"

"Wonderful." Ray beamed happily. "Just wonderful."

Ray leaned against the bench in the garage at his flat and watched his partner working, the sleek dark head bent in concentration. They had two days off and Ray had indicated that he wanted to spend at least some of that time working on his motorbike.

It had been somewhat neglected since he and Bodie had taken that monumental step together, about three months ago, changing their partnership forever. Since that night when he had drunkenly propositioned Bodie, and the next morning when they had soberly confirmed their passion for each other, they had hardly been apart.

It was true that they worked hard, but now they also played hard, harder than he could ever recall.

As soon as George Cowley released them from the shackles of their working day, they could barely wait to get to whichever flat was closest or most convenient, as they still lived separately for appearances sakes, and make frantic love, burning off the tensions of the day, or take their time slaking their thirst, hunger and lust for the sight, smell, taste and touch of each other, exploring new sensations and building up slowly to a glorious climax together.

Bodie had promised him a forever full of next times, and his reply to that echoed in his head.

'Wonderful. Just wonderful.'

It had been, at first. Bodie still seemed content to spend all his free time indulging in the physical side of their liaison, but recently the guilt of neglecting other pursuits had started to weigh heavily on Ray's mind.

He was finding that he now yearned for more from Bodie than just sex, such as the opportunity to flourish and grow as people within the relationship. Part of that growth included time away from the bedroom to indulge in other pastimes, like working on his latest project.

He had been surprised at Bodie's acquiescence to spend some of his precious time off working on the bike, because although he was perfectly capable of tinkering with things mechanical, he tended not to have the inclination on that score. Without realising it, he let out a sigh.

Bodie lifted his head and regarded his partner questioningly. Ray had thought the sight of Bodie in overalls attractive, but with the big smudge of oil on one cheek, it was almost more than he could bear. A tidal wave of desire and tenderness flooded over him. He sighed again.

"Ray?" Bodie was staring at him, concern written across his face.


"What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" he asked, gesturing to the parts he was working on.

"No, no, of course not. Nothing's wrong."

"So why do you keep sighing?"

"Do I? Nothing's wrong."

"Yeah, right, and I'm a monkey's uncle! What's going through that curly noggin of yours?"

Ray sighed again. "Oh, I dunno. Are you happy? You know, with how things are between us?" Bodie nodded, but looked clearly puzzled by the turn in conversation. "Do you ever wonder if there is more to it than this, or if this is all there is?"

"What are you talking about, Ray?" Bodie's tone had a hard edge to it.

"Oh, I don't know. I just feel like we're not going anywhere. All we seem to do these days is work or fuck each other."

Bodie's reply was distinctly cold. "Let me get this straight. You're saying that you're not happy with what we've got, that it's not enough for you? Do you want something else, something more? Are you saying that what I am giving you doesn't satisfy you? Tell me, Raymond, what more could I possibly give you that I don't now that would make you happier?"

It was like someone had dropped an ice cube down Ray's back, and aghast at the condemnation, he looked at Bodie's face, searching for a glimmer of reconciliation. Bodie's blue eyes seemed almost grey and burned through him with controlled rage.

Ray swallowed. To alienate Bodie, feel shut out from him, was not what he had intended. Things were rapidly turning into a nightmare, and he wished he could wake up. "That's not what I meant," he whispered.

"No? Then what did you mean?" There was no let up from Bodie.

"I just meant it would be nice to do other things together. You know, romance. Love. Anything other than screw."

Bodie looked momentarily taken aback by this accusation, then recovered himself. "Just because someone doesn't love you the way the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have, Ray." He spoke quietly, then turned around and walked away, shrugging off all Ray's attempts to detain him. Ray could have kicked himself. It had come out all wrong, and now he had hurt Bodie. He had heard and seen that quite clearly.

Bodie pushed the door shut with his foot, and slammed his keys down onto his kitchen worktop. He reached for a glass and poured himself a large Scotch. Flopping into his armchair, he thought about the altercation he'd just had with Ray.

'Damn him!' He might have known that the stupid golly would not make things straightforward. Sighing, he finished his drink, and went to pour another. He switched the radio on as he went past, in the vain hope that it might take his mind off things. The DJ announced that the next song was "I Walk The Line" by Johnny Cash. He was about to find a different station, when the lyrics struck home. The song could almost have been written for him and his relationship with Ray.

"As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
The happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line."

He poured the drink he had gone for, and sat back down, reflecting again on the day's events. The song had put a different slant on his mood, on his thinking. Yes, Ray should have known that he would not easily bare his soul, could not change the habit of a lifetime and leave himself vulnerable simply because they were now lovers as well as partners and friends, but he should have remembered Ray's hopeless romantic streak. The question facing him now was how to put things right?

He decided to go to bed. Perhaps after a good night's sleep, things would look better in the morning. A good night's sleep, hah! He knew he was deluding himself on that score. But maybe the answer would still come to him. As he tossed and turned, the words of the song repeated themselves.

"You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line."

Eventually he figured out what he had to do, and fell asleep planning how to win Ray back.

Two miserable days after the argument, his leave finished, Ray was back at CI5, in the briefing room. He hadn't seen Bodie since he had walked out, hadn't heard from him. Not that he had expected to. Bodie's words had struck home after he had gone.

He knew what Bodie was like; he kept his emotions very much in check, never allowing his heart to totally rule his head. So why did he suddenly expect him to change personality? The truth was he didn't.

Bodie had been right, just because he didn't love him in the way he wanted, didn't mean he didn't love him. He was just different, had different ways of doing things. So he didn't gush insincere words of love or open up and let people under defences he had spent a lifetime constructing at every opportunity, but with him, actions very clearly spoke louder than words.

One thing he was certain of was that Bodie had allowed him closer and trusted him more than anyone else. Furthermore, the fact that Bodie had been willing to spend his time off doing something that was more important to Ray said it all.

How did the saying go? Don't waste your time on a man who isn't willing to waste their time on you. Bodie had shown he was more than willing to do just that. All he needed to do was communicate what he wanted, and it was done.

He was stupid not to have seen it before. He had been racking his brains ever since how to put things right. The trouble was, he couldn't think of anything that would. He hoped to catch up with Bodie after the briefing, to try salvage something from the sorry situation. But when he looked around, he couldn't see him anywhere.

"Jax, have you seen Bodie?"

"Yeah, he was in very first thing, went to see the Cow."

Ray's stomach felt like it had just dropped at great speed into his trainers. He went searching for Cowley. "Excuse me, sir, where's Bodie?"

"He said he had some personal issues to sort out which had cropped up during his two days off. I've granted him a few extra days to deal with whatever it is, although I must say I'm not too pleased about it, but it's better this way than losing his edge on duty and someone getting injured or killed as a result. I must say, I'm surprised at you not knowing, as his partner."

Doyle blinked at the sting in the words. Had he imagined it, or had Cowley put extra emphasis on his final phrase?

'Damn!' Things were worse than he had thought. How was he ever going to put things right if the dumb crud wasn't even here? He tried ringing Bodie, but there was no reply.

A couple of hours later, he was just on his way to the rest room to get a drink, when Jax informed him there was a delivery left with Fred for him. Puzzled, he went down to the main desk.

Fred handed him a large bouquet of red roses with a knowing wink. Ray was even more puzzled, and searched for a card.

He found it sealed in an envelope and tucked inside the bouquet. He took the flowers up to his desk, getting a few admiring and amused glances from his colleagues on the way, and sat down. He opened the card, and read the message.

'Forgive me? Forever yours. Love, B.'

His heart sang with joy brought by those few, but heartfelt words. He tried ringing Bodie to tell him there was nothing to forgive, but there was no reply. By late afternoon, he still hadn't managed to get hold of Bodie, and decided to call by his flat on the way home. His phone ringing interrupted his thoughts. Another delivery, a box this time, was waiting for him with Fred.

"Who brought this?" He asked. Fred just shrugged by way of reply. "Have you checked it over?"

"Yes, and it seems clean. There's an envelope with it too. You are popular with someone today." A deaf and blind man could have detected the hint of amusement in Fred's words. Ray muttered his thanks, and took the parcel and accompanying envelope up to his office.

Impatient to read the message, he ripped the envelope open.

Ray absorbed the words written in Bodie's strong and distinctive handwriting.

'I hope you took the necessary care opening this, it could have been booby trapped.'

'Ha ha, Bodie, very funny. Even when you're not here, you're looking out for me. You know me too well.'

He continued to read.

'Dinner tonight, Oliver's, 20:00 precisely. Wear this.' Ray raised his eyebrows and whistled. Oliver's was one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in town. Idly, he wondered how Bodie had managed to get a table at such short notice. 'If you're not there, I'll know how things lie. Forever yours. Love, Bodie.'

Carefully, he opened the box. Inside he discovered a smart suit in black, with a rich sage green silk shirt and matching tie in a forest green, and a pair of very smart black brogues. Ray knew they were expensive, just as he knew that they would fit him, and they would suit and flatter him. Bodie did have good taste in clothes, most of the time.

He left work rather later than he had anticipated, and went home to get ready. He was determined to be there early - no way was he going to allow Bodie to think he was now having second thoughts.

He shaved and showered, spending as much time under the spray as he felt he could afford, feeling the tensions of the past few days washing away, to be replaced by excitement and anticipation. Bodie, his Bodie, was taking him on a date, and he was determined to make sure that by the end of the evening, Bodie knew how important he was to him, that it would never be in doubt again.

He dried himself and dressed, savouring the feel of the new clothes against his skin. He realised that Bodie hadn't included underwear, and decided to take this as a hint, and went without, as he had so often done before. If things ever went that far, he knew it would give Bodie a thrill.

He poured some aftershave into his cupped palms and slapped it on his jaw, picked up his watch and jacket and went downstairs just as the taxi he had ordered drew up outside. He indicated to the driver that he would be right there, and put on his shoes. They were of the softest leather, and felt extremely comfortable.

He departed the flat, setting the locks as he went to avoid a lecture later, and got into the taxi. Butterflies started fluttering in his stomach as they drew near to Oliver's.

He paid the driver and stepped out. Entering the restaurant, he was greeted by the Maitre d', and announced that he was here to meet a friend, Mr Bodie.

"Certainly, sir. This way please." The Maitre d' directed him to a secluded part of the restaurant and suddenly he was confronted with Bodie's back. He cleared his throat, and Bodie spun around, lines of worry etched on his face. Ray noticed that his suit was a navy blue with a subtle pin stripe, and his shirt was a cornflower blue silk, with a Navy tie. He looked absolutely devastating.

"Ray! Glad you could make it!" The warmth in Bodie's greeting belied how nervous he had been that Ray wasn't going to show, that his attempts to put things right would come to nought.

He looked him up and down, and decided that the new clothes had definitely been the right choice. "Like the new clothes," he said. "They make you look divine, very distinguished and debonair." The corners of his eyes crinkled affectionately, and the blue seemed cobalt. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Umm...yes, thank you. Can I have a pint of lager please?"

When they had their drinks, the Maitre d' led them to their table. They placed their order, and made stilted attempts at small talk whilst they waited for their food.

"I'm sorry." They both started together. After a little wrangling over who was going to go first, and much laughter, the ice was broken, and they relaxed in each other's company.

"I'm sorry, Ray," Bodie said. "I behaved like a prat. I should never have walked out on you like that. I owed it to you to at least stay and work it out. The truth is what you said really hurt." Ray was astounded to note that Bodie was actually opening up to him. "I was, am, really happy with what we've got. I had no idea that you might not feel the same way. I can't help it if I want to take you to bed all the time, you are just so sexy, I can't resist you. Forgive me, please?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Ray waved his hand in the air, as if to brush it aside. "It's not that I don't feel the same, because I do. I like sleeping with you, just sometimes I'd like to have the time to do other things, either together or on my own."

"But the last couple of days have been really difficult without you, and given me chance to see things more clearly. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have expected you to be someone you're not. I realised after you'd gone that what I'd said wasn't entirely fair."

"You'd given your time to help me with my bike, and I hadn't recognised or appreciated that. I also thought about what you'd said as you left, and found that you were right. I love you for who you are, not who I'd like you to be. That's a bird's trick!" He joked.

"By the way, I'm glad you find me irresistible!" He leaned closer over the table, conspiratorially. "I've got no underwear on!" He whispered teasingly.

Bodie's eyes turned blue-black as the words stoked his imagination. "Jeez, Ray, you are one sexy little devil," he admonished jokingly, "and such a cock tease too!"

The waiter arrived, bringing their meals and effectively halting their conversation.

Bodie couldn't stop thinking about Ray's words, and could barely wait for the meal to be over. His partner noticed his mind didn't seem to be on his food for once, and suppressed a barely hidden smirk.

Bodie summoned the waiter for the bill, and as they waited he sighed. "I do love you, Raymond. More than I'll probably ever be able to say. But I'm going to try, for our sakes, to tell you and to show you as often as I can and I'm going to try to let you in here a bit more, but I can't make promises - it will take much time and patience on both our parts." He tapped his head, and Ray understood exactly what he was saying.

"You've got it, whatever it takes, love. In return, I promise to open my eyes a bit and appreciate the ways in which you give yourself to me, and to let you know if there's something I want to spend time on and you can decide if you want to do it with me, or do something on your own. Sound fair?"

"Sounds great, and I think when we get out of here, I'd like to seal it with a kiss. Now that we've thrashed everything out, and I've wined and dined you, can we go home, so I can fuck your brains out? Or is that still off limits?" he asked, his eyes almost completely black now and twinkling.

"Oh, I think you've earned the right. Just this once, mind!"

Bodie threw enough money on the table to cover the bill plus a generous tip, and grabbing Ray by the wrist, dragged him out into the street.

They started to walk back to Bodie's flat, and were passing some industrial land when Ray suddenly veered off and disappeared out of view into the dark.

"Ray? RAY!" Bodie called. "Where the hell are you?" He muttered as he followed.

Suddenly, he was grabbed and pulled into the shadows. Before he could fight back, a mouth found his, which he recognised instantly. He relaxed, and returned the kiss, matching passion with passion. Ray's tongue pushed past his parted lips, and sought hungrily to explore every nook, causing him to groan softly.

The ferocity of his lover's desire caused jolts of electricity to run up and down his spine and he shuddered involuntarily. He could feel Ray's erection pressing hard into his hip, thrusting impatiently against him, and he started to soar from the knowledge that Ray wanted him, here, now.

Ray released his mouth, and began nibbling at his earlobes and neck, licking the whorls of his ear and gently blew across the opening. Bodie shuddered again, and gave a soft moan of delight.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" He whispered hoarsely. "Ray, I want you so much. Let's go home."

"Nah!" Ray breathed in his ear, causing another shudder. "I want you to take me right here, right now," he said urgently. He unbuckled the belt on his trousers, and undid the buttons and zip and allowed them to drop round his ankles.

Bodie reached a hand down, and lightly touched Ray's erect member, who whimpered with the delicate sensation. He unbuttoned his trousers, and slid them together with his briefs down to below his knees, feeling the thrill of the cool evening's air breezing against his exposed skin.

"Fuck, but you're a wanton Golly, aren't you?" He whispered tenderly.

"Turn around then!" He gently spun Ray around.

Ray leaned with his hands against the wall, bracing himself. Bodie ran his hands over his lover's bared arse, feeling the cheeks of his buttocks, kneading them with his fingers. He slid his hand into the cleft, feeling the moistness there, and gently rimmed the small nub of clenched muscle with one fingertip. Ray gasped, and pushed back against him.

"Easy, tiger!" He soothed. "Got to take our time, make it nice for you." He offered the fingers on his other hand to Ray, who readily slipped them into his mouth and sucking on them, moistened them.

Bodie withdrew them, and gently slipped them between his cheeks again, and carefully inserted one into Ray's passage. He worked it around slightly, slowly stretching Ray, then entered a second finger. Ray thrust himself against Bodie's hand, impaling himself further on the two fingers.

"Eager beaver!" Bodie teased, as he slipped a third finger in.

"If you'd hurry up, I wouldn't need to be!" Ray moaned. "I'm ready, Bodie. Take me! Fuck me NOW!"

Bodie needed no further encouragement. He spat copiously into his hand, and anointed his rock hard cock, mixing saliva with the pre-come weeping from his slit. He guided his organ to behind the hand still inserted inside Ray, and removing his fingers, pushed the snub tip in their place. Ray gasped softly, and Bodie waited, fighting his need to thrust inside that warm hole.

After a couple of seconds, Ray moved back against him, working him. Bodie began to drive into Ray, until his penis was completely engulfed, his ball sac slapping against Ray's skin, and then withdrew his shaft until just the head remained inside, over and over.

He reached his arms around Ray, placing one on Ray's abdomen to pull their bodies gently together, and the other grasped his cock firmly with his fist. He pumped Ray's organ in time with his thrusts, and felt it grow harder and thicker.

He knew that their orgasms were nearing, and he speeded up his motions. He kissed and nibbled Ray's neck and shoulder, his bites firming as his release surged through him. He thrust fiercely against Ray again and again as his semen started spurting from his body into his lover's.

"Christ, Ray! I love you so much, so bloody much!" He groaned, his voice and breath ragged.

With one final thrust, his climax shuddered and subsided, as Ray erupted over his hand and the floor. Ray mumbled frantic words of endearment as his orgasm was wrenched from him. Bodie gently removed himself, and softly kissed his lover on the neck, cheek and hair.

"As knee-tremblers go, that was earth shattering! Better straighten ourselves up, make ourselves decent!" Bodie chuckled. Ray was still panting slightly. "You okay, sunshine?" He asked softly.

"Uh-huh!" came the muffled reply. "I'm fine, just worn out!"

"Come on, I'll shout us a taxi home. Are you staying at mine tonight?"

"Yeah, if you'll have me."

"Just have, haven't I?" Bodie teased. "Of course I'll have you. Got a treat lined up for you."

"What?" came the suspicious reply.

"That's my Angelfish. Once a copper..."

"...Always a copper!" Ray joined in.

"You'll have to wait and see. Come on, look sharp, I can hear a drink calling me!"

Bodie set off jogging to the road. He managed eventually to flag a cab, and in no time at all, they had reached their destination. Ray was feeling very sleepy after their exertions and the ride home, and allowed Bodie to take him by the elbow and assist him into the flat. Bodie led Ray to the bedroom, and gently pushed him onto the bed. He returned to the living room, set the locks and poured them both a nightcap of Scotch before rejoining Ray.

"Here, let me help you get into bed."

"I know exactly what happens when you undress me, Bodie, and I couldn't right now if my life depended on it. Sorry."

"That's okay, sunshine. I can't either right now. Besides, I'd just rather snuggle up to you, missed you the last couple of days, so a cuddle'd go down great." Once he had settled them both into bed, he got both glasses, and raising his, said. "Cheers!"

Ray finished off his drink, and nestling his head against Bodie's chest, drifted off into a very welcome and peaceful sleep, soothed by the sound of Bodie's heartbeat.

He awoke to feel the early morning sunshine pouring in through the open curtains, warming everything the rays touched, stretched and basked in the glow, feeling happy and content.

He turned to look at Bodie, but found his side of the bed empty. There was a note on the pillow.

"Gone to get some provisions for breakfast, won't be long. Told Cowley you'll be late in. Left a little something for you on the bedside table. Love, Bodie."

He glanced across at the table, and saw a slim package all neatly wrapped up. He was just fingering it lightly, when he heard Bodie come in.

"Meant to give you that last night at the restaurant. Anyway, it's probably worked out better now." Bodie informed him. "Well, aren't you going to open it?"

Ray carefully tore off the wrapping to reveal a jewellery box. Opening it, he revealed a silver identity bracelet, which was slim, just as he liked them, wouldn't look too heavy against his bone structure. He was examining it, when he noticed that it bore an inscription.

"Forever yours. Love, Bodie."

He turned to face his lover, and saw just a chink of vulnerability on the beautiful face.

"It's perfect. Thank you. I'll treasure it always." He pulled Bodie onto the bed, and kissed him thoroughly, reigniting their lust.

"I'm forever yours, too." He sighed dreamily.

-- THE END --

July 2005

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