Beginnings, by Fairlady

You came into my life with understanding and taught me love
You came into my heart with a force that could not be of this world
You came into my soul like the warm wind of a summer's day
You brought with you joy and peace such as I had never known
It is now a world of new beginnings and endless hopes
You hold my heart trembling and submissive to your will
And I am Yours forever


It had been a long few days. What with chasing around after that lunatic, Nesbitt--an idealist who, with his insanely mad idea, had planned to release a chemical into a reservoir and poison half of London--and then dismantling that bomb. A bomb complicated further by its position underneath a water barrel.

Doyle had watched from the boat as Bodie had leapt into the freezing cold lake, and by crafty means, had forced Nesbitt to confess. He himself only jumped in to assist his partner in the dismantling of the bomb.

After the event, he had seen Bodie's position as Cowley's favourite reinforced. The Cow, who, whilst tearing them off a strip for disobeying orders, had given Bodie the hip flask full of whisky and had allowed Bodie to take several sips--large ones at that. The moment Ray had taken one tiny drink, Cowley had whisked it away from him sharpish. Yes, he mused, Bodie is still Cowley's blue-eyed boy.

"C'mon Ray, I'm perished," he heard Bodie mutter. "Let's just get back, it's...." Bodie glanced at his watch. "Bloody hell, it's 6:00 p.m. already. Linda will be wondering where I am."

"New bird?" Ray didn't really want to ask the question, but it was required. "When am I going to meet her?"

A frown appeared on Bodie's forehead, marring his handsome features. "Oh, don't tell me the chill has affected your brain, sunshine. You know Linda. That petite blonde with the big prospects, down in the typing pool?"

Ah, that Linda. "Didn't realise she'd be interested in a gorilla like you." The protest was, although weak, expected of him, despite Ray's wholehearted dislike of the situation.

"She just likes men with a bit of meat on them." He saw Bodie give him the once over, and felt his heart leap like salmon travelling upstream. "Not," Bodie continued, oblivious to Ray's introspection, "that she'd ever look at a skinny thing like you."

Ray looked down at himself, seeing only sodden clothes surrounding a less than appealing body. Glancing back up at Bodie, he spied an unexpected softening in the sapphire blue eyes that was quickly hidden. Quietly, he agreed with Bodie. "You could be right, mate. Skinny and ugly."

Walking away from Bodie at that moment was difficult--he wanted nothing more than to hold him in his arms--but he didn't hesitate. Ray headed straight for the white car and, opening the passenger door, carefully slid his still wet body into the passenger side.

Realising Bodie had been appropriated by another agent, Ray relaxed back into the seat and thought about his own feelings. It wasn't just that he himself was gay, he mused, just he was not at all oblivious to the charm and attractions of his partner.

From his silky midnight dark hair, to the creamy soft skin; from his changeable navy eyes to his soft, pouty lips; from his toned, muscled body to his firm buttocks, Bodie--he'd known some time back--was perfection personified. Moreover, how the hell, he growled to himself, could he be expected to compete and even have a chance of winning his love? This was, he speculated, all supposing Bodie even liked men.

The door opening startled him, and Ray jumped as Bodie gracefully leapt in and started the engine. "Back to base then, eh?"

Ray shrugged. "Guess so." Feeling the weight of Bodie's gaze upon him, Ray looked up and frowned. "What's up with you?"

"Was just wondering the same about you, Doyle. You haven't been right since the Cow took his milk away from you. Come to think of it, you've been moody for a while now."

Ray turned away from the all-too perceptive eyes and gazed out at the concrete jungle passing them by. Not really seeing anything, he concentrated on not looking back at his partner. A jumble of confessions was on the tip of his tongue, and he just wasn't ready to spill them, particularly not in this car, and not whilst feeling this cold. A sudden tremor threatened to turn into an outright full body shudder, and Ray clamped down on it with as much force as he could muster.

Unfortunately, Bodie still noticed. "Jesus Christ, Ray, why didn't you tell me how cold you were?" The sound of the heater coming on full blast filled the car's interior, and this time Ray, his emotions under wrap, turned around and let the welcoming heat envelop him. Rubbing his hands together, he spared a quick glance at Bodie. His partner was focussed on manoeuvring the car through the myriad of traffic on the road, his lips pursed in concentration.

Ray felt his heart thump in his chest. Bloody hell, I love him so damn much, he thought helplessly. Once more the external scenery drew his face away from where he was certain, had Bodie managed to glance over at him, his emotional state would have been there, plain to see.

---

Bodie was confused. Normally after coming off a successful op, they would both be bouncing jokes and retorts off one another, a feeling of bonhomie in them. However, Ray seemed distant and aloof, his thoughts obviously miles away.

Okay, so the cold water had been freezing, and they were both still dressed in their sodden clothes, but Cowley, despite his harsh words, was pleased with them. A sudden thought hit him. "Ray? Are you pissed off because I got more whisky? Is that's what wrong?"

Ray shook his head, but didn't respond. He never turned to look at Bodie, either. Something, thought Bodie, was dreadfully wrong. Making a mental note to cancel his date with Linda, he decided to take Ray back to his. They could get a takeaway, have a few drinks, and, he hoped, get Ray to open up. Mind made up, Bodie drove the last few miles back to his flat.

As he found a parking spot just outside his flat, Ray finally turned to him, puzzlement written all over his face. "Why have you brought me here, Bodie? Thought you had a hot date?"

"Had being the operative word, mate. Thought you could do with a hot bath, hot food, and good company." Bodie watched his friend carefully, but the blank expression wasn't giving anything away. That in itself was unusual--Ray, out of all the agents, had the most expressive face and eyes. Ignoring it for the moment, Bodie shoved his door open. "C'mon then--what do you fancy to eat?"

When Ray finally climbed out of the car, his slim frame still shivering, Bodie locked the door and hustled him over to his flat. Chilled fingers at length managed to get the keys into the lock and, door opened, Bodie shepherded his partner through it, before kicking shut the door behind them. "Go on, Ray, go and get showered. I'll follow you. Chinese do you?"

The slim shoulders shrugged. "Dunno, not really hungry. I'll take the shower, though." As Ray turned his head, Bodie could see the silent plea for understanding. Nodding as if to himself, Bodie waved him through, before reaching for the phone and ordering their food.

When the room was comfortably warm, fire blazing away, and a couple of beers in place, Bodie finally slumped into one corner of the sofa. His thoughts were all on his erstwhile partner and his many moods. Taking a gulp of his drink, he wondered what could be the matter with Ray. Okay, so Ray wasn't the sunniest of blokes--although he was happier during the afternoon and evening--and he wasn't the most even-tempered man Bodie'd ever met, but he was Bodie's best mate, and best mates cared for each other.

A slight noise alerted him to the fact that Ray had shuffled back into the room, dressed in only a short towelling dressing gown. His hair was ruffled and dripping with water and his face was flushed.

"Nice shower, that. Thanks Bodie." Ray pointed to the second beer, "That one mine?"

"Yeah. Think I'll go and get warmed up now, sunshine. You have left some hot water, I presume?" Bodie asked, unprepared for the guilty expression that crossed Ray's face. "Oh bollocks, you used it all up didn't you?"

Huge green eyes could only stare at him, and Bodie shoved the anger firmly back down. "It's okay, I'll go later. 'S warm enough in here anyhow."

The intercom system buzzed announcing the arrival of the food, and several minutes were spent sorting out food and plates, and soon the room was filled with the sound of hungry agents eating. Replete, Bodie sat back and patted his stomach. "Ahh, that was lovely. Good to see you've eaten too."

Ray smiled softly. "Yeah, was starving when I got out of the shower." He paused, "Look, Bodie, I'm sorry about the water. It's just, once I got in there...."

Bodie slung a friendly arm around his shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze. "It's okay. You needed it more than me. Anyway...." Bodie stopped. He could feel slight tremors running through Ray's suddenly tense body. "Ray? What's wrong?"

His friend didn't look at him as he muttered, "Nothing."

"Look at me, Ray. Please? What's wrong? You cold again?" Bodie asked. As Ray finally managed to glance up, Bodie's heart thumped against his ribcage. That look, that expression was so...so...familiar, yet so utterly unexpected, that Bodie couldn't speak.

Ray turned his body towards the dark haired man, grabbed all the courage he could muster, and bent his head to place a soft kiss on the desirable lips he'd been wanting. Pulling back, he waited, muttering, "Now you know, Bodie."

He watched as a dumbstruck Bodie--midnight blue eyes now almost black--lifted a finger and touched his own lips. As he traced round them, Ray felt his body reacting to the unconsciously sensual movement, his erection poking up against the soft material. Unfortunately, the short dressing gown hid nothing and, as Bodie glanced down, he shifted to try to hide it.

"Don't."

The soft whisper echoed loudly in the silence of the room and Ray stopped moving. A querying glance at Bodie and, with a cat-like grace, Ray slithered into Bodie's now open arms, lips merging into one.

Simmering heat in Ray's body exploded into a flame of desire as the kiss deepened, the hot spicy Bodie-ness of his partner everything he'd wanted. Fingers cast the dressing gown aside, and explored his chest, his nipples hardening with the gentle caresses.

Joining in, he moved his hands down, and yanked up Bodie's polo neck jumper. Pulling away from the kiss, he was gratified to hear Bodie's moan of disappointment. "Just want to get these clothes off you, love," he whispered huskily.

Unhesitatingly, Bodie stood up and, with all speed, removed the rest of his clothing. Ray joined him, shrugged off the gown, and, grabbing Bodie's hand, swept him off into the bedroom.

Gently shoving him onto the bed, Ray covered Bodie's body with his own, loving the feel of the powerful man beneath him. "Oh God, Bodie. You're gorgeous, you know. I love your neck," kiss, "your chest," nuzzle, "your lips."

Another breathtaking kiss followed, punctuated by rhythmic thrusts between them, their arousals slickly stroking together. Caressing hands touched, stroked, and petted each other's body. A jolt of electricity ran down Ray's spine as Bodie's hands fondled his arse, a finger slipping down the dark crevasse and softly brushing his opening. Gasping, Ray muttered, "Oh God, Bodie...Bodie...."

As the finger became bolder, it slipped inside the hot cavity, and Ray's orgasm hit. He howled his pleasure, and as the hot liquid pulsated between their bodies, Ray felt Bodie join him in the ecstasy. Head burrowed deep into Bodie's neck, he was perfectly placed to hear the hoarsely whispered, "Ray, Ray...love you," repeatedly, until they were both spent.

Drowsily, Ray lifted his head and smiled affectionately at his rather breathless, bewildered, and dazed lover. Bestowing a gentle kiss, he remained where he was, contemplating the enigma that was Bodie.

Uncertain, Bodie said nothing, preferring to remain silent. He knew he'd said way too much during their lovemaking, given himself away far too easily and now his heart was held firmly in Ray's hands. Ray could so easily break him and Bodie knew it, knew he couldn't go back on his words of love whispered during the heights of ecstasy. Even worse was the fact that, if Bodie couldn't have Raymond Doyle again, he wasn't sure how he could even work with him again. And yet he didn't want to leave CI5. Maybe, he mused, Ray would agree to repartnering. But then again, Bodie frowned, once you are used to the best, how can you go back to anything less?

A soft shaking of his head brought him back from his ruminations, and he realised Ray was speaking. "Dumb crud," he said, affection colouring his voice, "'S a good job I'm the brains of this relationship, isn't it? Your brain is ticking so loudly I'm surprised Cowley can't hear you. Leave the thinking to me, okay?"

Bodie managed to get his voice to work again. "You calling me thick?"

The lustrous emerald eyes glowed with joy, "Never, mate. Although you are a little slow on the uptake. I love you, too, Bodie. Never forget that. And if you think you are going to leave CI5, think again."

Startled, Bodie smiled guiltily. "You been mind reading again, sunshine?"

"Don't need to, do I? I know exactly what you've been thinking. You, lover, belong to me, all right?" Punctuating his sentence with several kisses, Ray continued, "You are mine and I love you. No more birds, lover, and if I ever catch you with another bloke, I'll cut your balls off and serve them up to Cowley on a silver platter."

Ecstatically, Bodie pulled him down for another breath-stealing kiss before replying. "Wouldn't dream of it, mate. You got me, for as long as you want."

"How does forever sound?"

-- THE END --

October 2005