Loosely inspired by The Cherry Tree Carol as performed by Joan Baez.


Cowley was a short man
And lonely was he;
He fancied Agent Murphy
But could barely reach his knee.

Cowley was pragmatic
And lowered his sight;
He thought he'd try for Bodie--
A bit closer to his height.

Cowley, Doyle and Bodie
Staked out a toyshop vast;
Bodie paused to eye the teddies:
Selection unsurpassed.

And Cowley said to Bodie,
"I'll buy you a bear
"If you'll only be my lover
"And come my bed to share."

Said Bodie: "With respect, sir,
"The ted you can shove.
"I've got a green-eyed golly,
"My true and only love."

Then up came Agent Murphy,
Said "I'll take the job!
"I've always liked mature men
"And power makes me throb."

Cowley shrugged and muttered,
"You're taking the piss!
"I'd have to buy a ladder
"Before I got a kiss."

Then bent down Agent Murphy
Till he touched Cowley's lips.
Cowley's passing yen for Bodie
Was totally eclipsed.

And lost in contemplation of
A Christmas so gay
They forgot about the villains
Who completely got away.

-- THE END --

December 2005