(Prequel to 'Sugar Is Sweet')

I almost lost him tonight. Ray. My reason for living.

The motorcycle came out of nowhere - a black machine and rider out of the black night. Some silly kid in a hurry. And Ray should have been dead. Would have been if I hadn't been there.

He stepped off the curb at the zebra crossing, looking back over his shoulder to toss a joke my way.

I leaned forward to answer him, saw the motorcycle, and pulled him to safety.

It was over so quickly it might never have happened except that I was holding him in my arms. Holding on for dear life. His life. And mine.

He looked at me, an odd expression on his face. "Bodie? Let go of me. Bodie. Let go, now!" He pulled away as he spoke and I let go so quickly he almost fell; as, suddenly, my body burned where it touched his.

I stood, staring at him, shocked by my feelings.

He tugged at me, trying to get me moving. "Come on, Bodie, let's go."

I shook myself, mentally, as his voice finally registered. People were starting to stare at us. I moved back to the curb, peering into the night to check the traffic more carefully this time. It was well after midnight, and what drivers there were drove like maniacs, convinced they had the road to themselves and not really caring if they didn't.

He nudged me, and smiled. "Thanks, mate. That's another one I owe you."

"Any time. Don't mention it."

We crossed the street to the car park where I'd left my motor. I unlocked the door and started to get in, then handed him the keys and went around to the passenger side. "You drive, Ray. I don't think I'd better."

He reached across to unlock my door and as I got into the car, I realized I was starting to shake. I took a deep breath and rested my head against the back of the seat, closing my eyes. But death was there, behind my eyelids, and I opened them quickly.

I knew Ray was looking at me but he didn't say anything, just put the car in gear and drove off.

Neither of us spoke as he drove, and we soon arrived at his flat. He parked and turned off the engine, then juggled the keys in his hand. He turned to me and tossed them my way. "C'mon up for a drink."

I muffed the catch and fumbled for the keys. "Thanks. I will." I locked the car and followed him up to his flat.

He let us in, set the safety locks, and motioned me to the sofa. "Sit down before you fall down."

I did as I was told, staring into space until he handed me a glass, then took a large swallow and gazed into what was left, wishing I dared say something to him about what I felt.

He sat down beside me, and sipped at his drink, not speaking, just being there for me.

When I had finished my drink he took it from me and set it on the coffee table, putting his own beside it, then turned to me and took my hand. I started and tried to pull away, aware of the fire in my flesh where his hand touched mine, but he held on tightly.

"No, Bodie. It's all right to touch here, just not on the street."

I looked at him and saw the green eyes were laughing, inviting me to laugh, too. I grinned, then, and relaxed, letting my fingers curve around his, knowing how much I wanted to touch even this small part of him.

He leaned his head against my shoulder and I draped my free arm around him. We sat that way for a while. Not saying anything. Not needing to. I couldn't believe he was actually allowing me this much.

"Bodie." His voice was soft, stealing into my consciousness. "What were you thinking tonight, after you saved my life?"

I heard the words, but I couldn't answer. How could I tell my best mate, I'd suddenly discovered that for me the sun rose and set in him, and if he were killed, there was no reason for me to go on living. I shrugged and pulled away, but he wouldn't let me to.

He took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, I raised my eyes to his. They were no longer laughing. They had darkened. And the expression in them was... hunger? I blinked, and the spell was broken. They were Ray's eyes and I was... I must be... wrong about what I thought they said.

"Tell me, Bodie." His voice was low, but intense. "I've got to know. I saw your face, but..." He hesitated. "Tell me."

I shook my head, tongue-tied, and tried again to pull away. His hands burned into my shoulders as he tightened his grip.

"All right. If you won't, you won't." He sighed, obviously making a decision. "Let's try this." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine, then took advantage of my gasp of astonishment and darted his tongue into my mouth, pulling me against himself as he did so.

I was drowning in the sweetness of his taste, his touch. I leaned into his embrace and knew nothing else but him for long moments until finally we had to come up for air. "Ray." I tried to say, but he stopped my mouth with his again. This time teasing my tongue with his, luring it into his mouth, hanging onto me so tightly I knew, when I could think again, I'd be bruised the next day. He tasted sweeter than anything I'd ever known before and I never wanted to stop.

The next time we surfaced, he was panting as if he'd just run a long way, and so was I. He still hadn't let me go, and I found I was holding him, as well. I could feel my cock throbbing as the fire from his touch centered in my groin. "Ray, I..."

"No, wait."

I must have looked as bewildered as I felt, because when I tried to speak he shushed me with his hand on my mouth. He took a deep breath and broke into speech quickly, not giving me a chance to say anything. "I love you, Bodie. Have for a long time, but I didn't dare tell you." He laughed. "Thought you'd thump me one, didn't I?" But tonight, when you saved me, and I saw your face, I thought...maybe ...you might feel the same way. So I took a chance." He looked down for a moment then stared into my eyes. "I wasn't wrong, was I?"

"No." The truth came easily to me. "You weren't wrong. I think I've loved you for a long time, too. I just never realized it. Not until tonight." I held his eyes with my own, not wanting there to be any misunderstandings between us. "We've wasted so much time. And there's no telling how much more we'll have. Not in our job. Let's not waste any more. I want you, Ray. Go to bed with me. Now." I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

"C'mon, then." He transferred his grip to my hand and stood, pulling me up after him.

I could see the bulge at his crotch and knew he wanted me as much as I did him. I followed him into the bedroom, filled with anticipation.

We undressed, unable to take our eyes off one another, and stopped often to touch and kiss.

Our loving was gentle and very sweet as we explored each other for the first time. The novelty of caressing another male body added to the excitement I found in making love to Ray. And the realization that it was my tough guy partner being so tender almost made me come right then.

I don't think there was a single square inch of me he didn't cover, first with his hands and then with his mouth. When he reached my nipples and sucked them it was almost too much, and when he fondled my balls and took my cock in his mouth I could no longer hold back and I came, endlessly it seemed, and he swallowed it all, licking me afterwards like a cat cleaning a kitten, then wriggled back up to lay beside me and kiss me so I could taste myself on his tongue.

I could feel his hardness poking into me but it was a while before I was able to do anything for him and then it wasn't much. I took his shaft in my hand, loving the feel of it, and tried to overcome my sex-induced lethargy enough to do for him what he had done to me, but his control must have been held on a knife's edge, because I had no more than stroked him once and he was coming, as seemingly inexhaustible as I was, crying out my name.

I gathered him to me for a kiss and he was asleep almost as soon as it was done. I considered getting something to clean us up, then decided morning was soon enough. I pulled him closer, rested my head on the soft curls and joined him in sleep.

When I woke it was barely dawn. I remembered everything that had happened the night before, still amazed that it actually had happened. I looked down at the man in my arms, and felt that I loved him even more this morning than I had last night, if that were possible.

I felt an overwhelming tenderness towards him. I wanted to protect him from all danger, forever, but I knew he wouldn't let me do it. He's a tough man, my partner, and more independent than most. All I could do was love him the way he is and, in private, show him all the affection he'd allow me to -- judging by his actions of last night, that could be quite a bit.

He stirred, so I decided it was time to show some of that affection. I made love to him slowly, taking him to the brink time after time, but not letting him come. I was learning the feel and taste of him, almost overpowered with delight. I loved the different textures on my tongue -- the silky hair on his chest, the tiny nubs of his nipples, so different from a bird's.

Finally, when his please for respite were almost incoherent, I took him in my mouth and, for the first time, felt the silky smooth skin over hardness that was another man's cock. There was a moment of strangeness and then I couldn't get enough of him. I sucked hard while weaving patterns with my tongue and then he was coming explosively and I had to swallow as fast as I could just to keep up with him. It wasn't until he was done that I was able to run my tongue around my mouth and actually taste him. It was slightly salty and uniquely Ray.

I mover back up the bed so I could take him in my arms. He was flaked out, giving no indication that he would ever be capable of movement again. I pulled him to me and held him tight, rubbing myself against him. I was so hot, it only took a stroke or two before I came, too. I wished I could pull him inside me, never let him go. I wanted to be one with him.

When it was over, I was totally enervated. I lay, holding him against me, half-dozing, until he began to move. He wanted my mouth and kissed me deeply for a long, long time. When I finally drew back, I looked down into his jade green eyes. They were soft and warm, not cold and challenging like they so often are. I spoke then, for the first time since waking, "That was fantastic, Ray, both last night and this morning." I hesitated, half afraid to ask, but needing to know, "This isn't going to be a one-off, is it? I don't think I could stand to let you go, now."

"Nah, 'course not. Told you I love you, didn't I? To me, that means a commitment. Doesn't it to you?" He was looking at me very seriously.

"Yes, it does. I just don't know what you want." I wanted to get everything clear at the beginning.

"I want you, Bodie, all the ways there are. Forever, or as long as we have. What about you?"

"I want the same thing. Only you. For as long as we have." I pulled him to me again and then caught sight of the clock. I grimaced. "Unfortunately, we only have an hour to get to work, and I have to go home and change clothes. We'll have to continue this later." I forced myself to let him go and get out of bed.

He put out his hand and stopped me, mumbling something about a meal that night, and I jumped at it. Never pass up a chance for a free meal, do I? Especially if Ray's doin' the cooking.

I smiled down at him. "That's a date, love, but now I've gotta run." I quickly dressed in yesterday's clothes. I'd shower at home. If I did it here, he'd probably join me and we'd never get to work. I couldn't resist bending down for one last kiss. "I'll see you at the office," I said and reluctantly turned to go, carrying with me a picture of a naked, tousled, much-loved Ray to think about during the day.

-- THE END --