Pre 'The Ojuka Situation'

"Hi, Louise."

Ten seconds later the phrase penetrated Doyle's spinning senses.

"Louise?" he said bemusedly. "Why Louise?"

A sparkling, dark-blue grin inched its way up ever his slackened thigh. "Everyone's gotta be called something, sunshine."

"Trust you to anthropomorphize a fella's prick," Doyle said resignedly, enjoying Bodie's blank look at the multi-syllabled word. "That means giving human characteristics to inanimate objects," he added kindly.

"I know what it means," Bodie assured him mendaciously. "What I don't understand is why you think your cock's inanimate! I reckon it's got a life all of its own.

"It?" Doyle propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at himself. "That's not an it, mate, that's very definitely masculine."

"I'd go along with that," Bodie agreed. "You don't think I don't know the difference, do you? I'll tell you what -- "leaning forward confidentially," -- I've got one meself. Wanna look?"

Controlling his bubble of laughter, Doyle said plaintively, "Then why Louise, for god's sake?"

"Well, I could call him George, I suppose," Bodie said pensively, "But for one thing, he doesn't look like a George and for another... well," he grinned lopsidedly, "I do sometimes get asked who the latest girl is, y'know. Don't you?"

Doyle had to admit he did.

"Well," Bodie put on his most virtuous look, "you wouldn't have me telling lies, would you? If I can say I have a date with Louise it'll keep 'em happy."

"You don't look too sure," Bodie chuckled, well aware Ray was still trying not to react to his evil suggestion of >George'.

"I'll have to get rechristened pretty often...you never were the faithful type."

"I'll bear it in mind." Bodie moved back down the bed. "Now, where was I when I was so rudely interrupted?"

Doyle guided his head carefully. "About there, sunshine, about there." Much later, drifting into a sated slumber, Doyle recalled the success of anthropomorphize and his mouth curled happily against the satin smooth shoulder under his cheek. He'd have to try and think up something better still next time... now what was the name of that god they'd worshipped in Pompeii?

-- THE END --