Time. He felt the weight of it pressing close around him. This last op had brought home to him just how near the time was for him to move on. If he was really honest with himself, the time to end this phase of his life was well past, but he had remained, knowing he was putting himself in jeopardy.

Solemnly he pushed aside the heavy drape and gazed at the twinkling lights of London outside his window. It would be a long time before he would again be able to look upon the sight that had become his home. He mused over the plans he had put into motion as soon as he came back to his flat. The necessary phone call had been placed and his affairs had been put into order. There was very little he would take with him when he left, which could be as early as tomorrow if everything moved as quickly as it usually did in these circumstances. A small selection of clothes and a few personal items were already packed in a duffle bag sitting on the floor of his bedroom. After a quickly fought battle with himself, he had surrendered and packed a single photo to remind himself of what, better yet, who, he would be leaving behind.

Now he was simply waiting for a return phone call informing him that his new identity was set and he would be off after staging his own death. He hadn't given it much thought as to where he would go, but the States seemed as good choice as any to lose himself quickly and buy himself time to decide where he would once again start over.

There was another task he needed to take care of tonight, but he didn't want to chance missing his contact that would set the wheels in motion for his new life. The pang of hunger was still slight, but it was getting sharper with each hour that passed since his miraculous escape earlier.

The flash of car lights turning the corner down the street caught his attention. His expression turned from melancholy to pain for all he would be losing. He should have known his partner would show up tonight. He shut his eyes against the wave of loss that washed over him as his inner eye conjured up the emotional pain he would inflict on Doyle by his actions due to Doyle's very nature.

Resigned to do what he had to do, he once again opened his eyes as Doyle pulled in front. He watched as the slender form of his partner jumped out of the car and jogged toward the stairs leading to his building. With a deep sigh, Bodie turned and surveyed his flat. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and he closed the door leading to his bedroom to hide any evidence of his leaving.

For now, whatever his needs, they would have to wait. He couldn't help the weakness to be selfish and share as much of tonight with Doyle as he safely could. It could very well be the last night he shared with the man who had come to mean more to him than anyone ever had in his life.

Doyle hurried up the stairwell, taking the steps two at a time. He was worried about Bodie after he had nearly been blown to bits today by a bomb planted in the warehouse. They had been chasing a man suspected of destroying a number of dock side buildings. By luck alone, the main force of the blast had somehow missed Bodie who had been close to it. Too close. Yet, Bodie had still managed to collar the bastard. Catching him despite the injuries he had and getting them both bloody in the process.

Other than some lacerations and bruises, Bodie seemed to have been fine. Never the less, Cowley had insisted he be checked out by the company physician, giving them both two days leave. Doyle had volunteered to take care of the paperwork while Bodie was being poked and prodded. The relief that Bodie hadn't been killed made tackling the reports a mere annoyance.

When he had finished, he hurried to the infirmary but Bodie had already left and gone home. A stab of fear sliced through him as his instinct told him to get to Bodie. Now. It wasn't like his partner to leave without them reassuring each other that they were both fine, especially after a close call like today.

Approaching Bodie's door, Doyle hesitated. Something wasn't right and he felt a deep dread settle into his gut. He tried to shake it off as a leftover from the scare earlier. He had never admitted to anyone just how much Bodie meant to him, and the thought of losing him made him break out into a cold sweat unlike anything else he'd ever faced. Squaring his shoulders he raised his hand and knocked hard on the solid wood of the door.

The sound of locks being undone preceded the slow opening of the front door. All of Doyle's doubts and worries boiled to the surface the moment he laid eyes on his partner. "What the hell do you think you were doing just leaving without letting me know you were alright?" demanded Doyle, pushing his way inside Bodie's flat. "You didn't think to let me know that you were leaving? It didn't take me that long to do our paperwork and I'd have brought you home. It never cross your mind that maybe I would be worried about you, did it?!"

Bodie quietly closed the door and relocked it before turning to face the fury of his partner. "I'm fine and I just wanted to get home. Didn't think...." It didn't appear tonight would go anywhere near the way he had hoped. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Doyle, especially when this might be the last time they saw each other.

"That's right," cut in Doyle. "Sometimes you don't think." He turned away from Bodie and ran his hand through his unruly curls unwilling to let Bodie see the underlying emotion that spurned his outburst.

Without saying anything, Bodie moved past Doyle and headed for the scotch. Doyle's strong reaction to his close call today was just a peek at how Doyle would react when Bodie was gone. He set about pouring two drinks, trying not to think too closely about how much he would be hurting Doyle when he left. He turned and jumped in surprise when he almost ran into Doyle standing directly behind him.

"You really should have waited for me," snapped Doyle, arms crossed over his chest and green eyes flashing as he studied Bodie closely.

"Said I'm sorry," said Bodie, handing Doyle a glass. "I'm fine, just a killer headache and I wanted to lie down for a bit to try and ease it."

"What's wrong, Bodie?" asked Doyle, seeing the strain etched on Bodie's face. His anger ebbing and turning to honest concern.

"Nothing." Bodie brushed past Doyle to sit on the couch.

"You haven't been acting yourself lately," pressed Doyle, worry in his voice. "You're distracted and in our line of work that's dangerous." It was true, but it hadn't reached the level of endangering either of them...yet. Granted, there was no way they could have known there was a bomb set to go off at the exact moment they were running through the warehouse. But other times it had only been Bodie's quick reflexes that had kept them alive when someone got the drop on them. Times when Bodie should have been alert and notice the half open door or a shadow that told where their quarry had run to hide. Yet the most telling thing lately was Bodie was more likely to go off by himself than pop into the local pub with Doyle at the end of the day. If he wanted Bodie to tell him what was going on, he needed to push his buttons.

Bodie placed his glass on the small table and rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm just tired, Ray. Maybe I need a holiday." He didn't want to fight. Not tonight.

Surprised by Bodie's reply, fully expecting defensive anger, Doyle eased himself down on the couch next to him. He knew there was more to it than that. "Then we'll put in for a holiday if you think that will solve what is bothering you."

"I told you, nothing is bothering me," said Bodie. He kept his gaze locked in front of him. He hated lying to Doyle, even if it was in his best interest. "I'm just...tired."

"Don't give me that, Bodie. I know you, remember? You've been acting odd lately." Doyle tried to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice, but he couldn't help feeling like he was losing Bodie somehow.

"You don't know me as well as you think you do, Sunshine," muttered Bodie, picking up his scotch and draining it in one swallow.

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Doyle, his eyes narrowing.

"Nothing. Just forget it." Bodie stood to refill his empty glass.

"No, Bodie. I'm not going to forget it," said Doyle, rising to follow him. "You don't go saying something like that without meaning it. Have I done something to piss you off? You want another partner? What?"

Bodie sighed, his back toward Doyle. "Just leave it, Ray. It has nothing to do with you."

"Like bloody hell it doesn't! We're partners, you and me. And what affects you, affects me." Doyle gripped Bodie's shoulder and forced him to turn around.

Bodie shrugged off Doyle's hand. "Look, it's none of your business, okay? I said to leave it." All he wanted now was to end this before things got worse, because there wouldn't be time to mend any of the hurts that might very well be inflicted tonight.

Before Doyle could argue, the phone rang. Bodie side stepped him and grabbed up the phone. The brief conversation was low enough that Doyle couldn't hear what had been said.

"I gotta go, got a date I need to keep," said Bodie, after he hung up. Everything was set, he just needed to close this chapter of his life. A life that he had become too comfortable in, that had touched him too deeply.

"Oh, some bird is more important than me? Than us?" said Doyle sarcastically. "Should know by now just where I stand with you. We're more than just partners, we're mates. Or at least I always thought so." He glared at Bodie as he stormed toward the front door. "This isn't finished, Bodie. You're gonna talk to me sooner or later."

The slam of the door reverberated throughout the flat and Bodie squeezed his eyes shut. The stress of Doyle's anger, on top of the injuries he had suffered before, combined to flare up the hunger that ached deep in his soul. He moved back to the window and watched as Doyle peeled out and roared down the street.

He decided to go ahead and leave tonight, to delay would only cause more heartache. His new identity was waiting for him and he couldn't face the questions that Doyle would be certain to put to him in the morning. The thought that Doyle would feel guilty for having left with angry words between them couldn't be helped. He collected his bag from the bedroom and headed out of the flat.

---

Doyle slammed on the brakes and squealed to a stop, leaving a long trail of black rubber on the road. It was just like Bodie to find some way to squirm his way out of explaining himself. Well, not this time. He wanted answers and by God he was going to get them tonight. He turned the car around and headed back toward Bodie's flat. Just as he rounded the corner, he saw Bodie toss a duffle bag into his car and climb in. Curious as to what Bodie was really up to, Doyle waited until Bodie pulled out and then followed him. He might just get his answers after all.

They drove down dark streets, Doyle hanging as far back as he could without losing Bodie. The traffic was light in this residential area and it would be easy to pick out a tail. But obviously Bodie wasn't paying as close attention as he should and Doyle darted into an empty space when Bodie parked in front of a house.

Doyle strained to see in the dark who Bodie was meeting. He raised his eyebrows when a short, pale man answered the door and ushered Bodie inside. Well, so much for it being a bird. Whatever was going on was serious enough to make Bodie lie to him, a rarity in of itself. He would side step a question, but never directly lie to him.

It was less than ten minutes before Bodie emerged from the house, pausing long enough to embrace the man before returning to his car. Doyle waited until Bodie was almost to the end of the street before following him.

Eventually, Doyle found himself in a rough part of town near the docks. The night denizens, hard and mean looking, slowly walked along their domain. He parked away from the pub Bodie had chosen and decided to wait and watch. This wasn't the normal type of establishment Bodie was known to frequent. It had the air of slime and degradation about it, not the kind of place to meet and pick up birds or to quietly drink away your worries.

Just when Doyle was considering going into the bar after Bodie, he spotted his partner stepping out with a blonde. The woman was obviously smashed and hung onto Bodie as she tried to walk, stumble more like it, toward Bodie's car. The tight skirt and form fitted blouse was gaudy and even from this distance and Doyle could see her exaggerated makeup. The woman was the farthest from Bodie's type Doyle could ever have imagined.

Once again, Doyle found himself hanging back, trying not to draw attention to himself as they drove a couple blocks away from the pub toward a deserted part of the docks. He turned off his headlights and slowly crept forward, parking just past the pale light of the street post as he watched Bodie stop his car facing the water. He couldn't believe he was spying on Bodie making out with some tart.

"Wha' are we doin' 'ere?" slurred the woman, blinking and looking around. "Thought we were goin' back to yer place, handsome."

"It's a beautiful night out, and the quiet will give us a chance to get to know each other a little better," reassured a smiling Bodie. He brought his arm around the drunk woman and tugged her closer. "We've got the stars, the moon, and the night. What more could we ask for?"

"Yer a romantic bloke, aren't ya?" giggled the woman, settling into Bodie's embrace. She sighed and tilted her head when Bodie leaned forward to nuzzle her neck. She closed her eyes as Bodie placed soft kisses along her jaw and neck, so she missed the dark, blue eyes flicker with a light of their own. A sharp pain brought her out of the mellow stupor she had fallen in and a short scream escaped her lips as she tried to push Bodie away from her. Just as quickly as the pain came, it vanished, to be replaced by a feeling of sweet contentment flowing through her.

Bodie latched his lips tightly around the small wound he had made and drank deeply of the only thing that would sate the hunger that had started to gnaw away at him. The warm blood filled him and replenished his strength that had been depleted when the explosion had torn through him. The brief respite he had taken from their suspect after the blast hadn't been enough to completely heal him. Now, he cradled the limp form in his arms, careful not to take too much.

Reluctantly, Bodie withdrew leaning his head back against the headrest allowing the sweet excitement of having fed wash over him. A surge of energy travelled through him, exciting him, and he used the palm of his hand to rub the hardness at his groin. He vaguely acknowledged the woman fumbling with the door latch. She didn't mean anything to him, other than a source he needed at the moment which had passed. Abruptly, Bodie reached out his hand and stopped her. "Forget this, forget ever seeing me."

She blinked as she stared into the glowing blue eyes and slowly nodded. "Never saw you." With slow movements, she got the door opened and stumbled out of the car.

Bodie relaxed back into his seat, riding the sweet sensation shooting through his body. His mind conjuring the image of the one person he did desire above all else.

Doyle thought he had heard a scream and strained his hearing to catch any sound, but the quiet remained unbroken. Certain he hadn't imagined it, he carefully got out of his car and hugged the shadows as he slowly made his way toward Bodie's vehicle.

He darted into a small alcove of a doorway when the passenger car door opened and the blonde staggered out. She used the car to steady herself and propel herself back toward Doyle who remained hidden in the shadows. Just as she passed by Doyle, she stumbled and he automatically reached out to catch her from falling. He held her up until she could get her feet underneath to support her own weight. He noticed two tiny wounds on her neck as her head lolled to the side, yet even as he watched the puncture marks healed and vanished. "What the hell?"

The woman mumbled something and struggled out of Doyle's hold, continuing to weave her way down the street. He shook his head, there was no way he could have seen what he had just seen.

With a sigh, Bodie opened his eyes and denied himself the pleasure of his hand. He needed to get on with things before he could indulge in finding release. He hadn't taken more than she could easily afford, but it was enough to help mend his injuries further.

Doyle had turned back to face Bodie's car when he saw him get out, pulling the duffle bag with him. Before he could do or say anything, Bodie closed the car door and leaned in through the open window. He watched in shock as Bodie put the car into neutral and then pushed it off the dock.

Bodie stood a moment, watching his car sink into the black, inky water. By the time they discovered it, they would assume that he had drowned and had been washed away with the undercurrent. With a silent farewell, he hefted his duffle bag and turned to walk away. He stopped when he saw the familiar silhouette back lit by the dim street light.

"What the hell are you doing?" demanded Bodie, standing perfectly still. A shock of desire struck him and he suppressed a groan as he drank in the sight of his partner.

"I should be asking you that," countered Doyle, slowly walking toward him.

"Can't you ever mind your own business?" said Bodie, tensing. The tingle of warmth still sang through his veins and he fought to damp down his rising desire for sexual release.

"What's going on, Bodie? What did you do to her?" Doyle stopped in front of Bodie, searching the face that was as familiar as his own, but at that moment looked like a stranger's. Bodie's eyes were bright and shiny, and his face flushed with a rosy glow.

"Leave off, Doyle," warned Bodie. He realised with Doyle having seen him push his car into the water, his means of vanishing had been ruined. "I didn't hurt her, not really, at any rate. She'll never remember even being with me tonight. She's fine, trust me."

"Trust you," repeated Doyle, pointedly looking at the duffle bag slung over Bodie's shoulder and then toward the water. "For me to do that, you better start explaining what is going on."

"Just forget about it. Forget about me and what you think you saw tonight," said Bodie, his heart tearing in two. It was hard enough to leave friends behind each time he did this, but to leave someone he had come to love was torture.

"Forget about.... Bodie what is going on?!" demanded Doyle again, shaking his head. A feeling of lightheadedness had washed over him along with Bodie's words. "I'm not going to just walk away and let you do a disappearing act on me."

"That's exactly what you need to do," said Bodie, wishing with his own being that Doyle would just let him go. He was surprised that Doyle had been able to shake off his suggestion, it hinted at just how deeply their relationship had become between them.

"Not gonna happen, Sunshine," sneered Doyle, gripping Bodie's arm and preventing him from bolting. "You owe me an explanation."

"I don't owe you anything," snapped Bodie, yanking his arm free. He could have easily pushed Doyle away, but he had never used his strength against him before and he wasn't about to start now.

"Oh, you don't, do you? Being partners means that little to you? Or friendship? I thought we were best mates." Doyle glared hard at Bodie, angry that he could so easily throw away what they had.

Bodie pinched the space between his eyebrows as he turned away from Doyle. "Please, Ray. Do this for me, okay?"

"Only if you tell me why," said Doyle.

"I can't."

"Then I can't let you just walk away from me." Doyle stared Bodie down, refusing to budge. He couldn't think of what could have happened to make Bodie want to just leave like this. To leave him.

"You don't know what you're asking," said Bodie, his whole being pleading with Doyle to do this. To let him go.

"You're right. I don't." Doyle searched Bodie's face for some clue to this madness. "That's why I'm asking."

Anger suddenly flared through Bodie. Anger at Doyle for making this harder than it already was, anger at himself for allowing Doyle to have such a hold on him. "Fine! You want to know? I'll tell you. Everything you don't want to hear and will never believe. But not here."

"Then let's go back to your place," said Doyle, moving back a small step.

"No. Your flat." Bodie strode past Doyle and opened up the passenger door and slid inside. He knew he was making a mistake, but he couldn't stop himself.

Doyle drove silently back to his place, refusing to glance at Bodie who slouched in the seat beside him. To try and conjure up reasons for Bodie's behaviour was fruitless, because nothing he could imagine could explain this. He kept his questions to himself, preferring to wait until they were behind locked doors.

---

Bodie dropped his duffle bag next to the front door, while Doyle relocked it.

"Make yourself comfortable," said Doyle, motioning toward the couch. The drive back had given him the time to regain control over his emotions. "Want a drink? I think we're both going to need it."

Bodie remained silent as he took a seat, watching Doyle pour the drinks. How he ended up in this situation was beyond him. He should already be out of London and heading out of England by now.

Doyle sat down beside him and handed him his drink. "Talk to me. And don't go spinning any of your tales, Bodie. I want the truth."

"You sure?" asked Bodie, an unamused smirk on his lips. He took a long drink to wash away the coppery taste that remained in his mouth.

Doyle simply glared at him and settled back waiting.

"I guess if I told you I had to leave, that I needed to start over somewhere else, as someone else, you wouldn't just accept that." Bodie eyed Doyle, knowing the answer.

Doyle snorted and raised an eyebrow.

"Nah, didn't think so," sighed Bodie. "Remember Ray, you asked, alright?" When Doyle gave him a slight nod, Bodie took a deep breath and let it out. "I've been here too long and if I stay much longer people are going to start asking questions. Questions I really don't want to answer."

Doyle continued to look at Bodie, waiting.

Bodie finished off his scotch and placed the empty glass down on the side table beside him. "I wasn't as lucky as you thought I was today."

Of everything Doyle expected to hear, that wasn't it. "What are you talking about? You're here aren't you? In one piece, a little banged up, but still alive."

Bodie shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. I got caught in the full blast of that bomb, knocked me clean across the room. Tore through me like so much raw meat...."

"Oh get off, Bodie," said Doyle in disgust. "I told you, no fabrications. I want the truth!"

"That is the truth!" yelled Bodie, rising to his feet. "You tell me how I avoided the blast then. There wasn't any wall or equipment to shield me other than that door it was stashed behind. That bomb exploded and I was right there in front of it!"

Doyle froze, his eyes wide and staring at Bodie. He knew what Bodie was saying was true, but he had convinced himself somehow, something, had protected Bodie from the blast, although the room had been completely empty. "Is not possible.... You'd be dead, Bodie."

"Yeah, I should be, but I'm not," said Bodie, dropping back down on the couch. "I've made it through some tight spots before where I should have died and didn't. It's because of what I am that I'm still here. And it's because of what I am that I have to leave."

"You're not making any sense," said Doyle, still staring at Bodie. "What do you mean, what you are? You're you, Bodie."

Bodie cradled his face in his hands. "I'm not.... I'm something else."

"You got that right." Doyle reached out and rubbed Bodie's shoulders, wanting to relay the support they always shared.

Bodie chuckled. Leave it to Doyle to turn his words around.

"But you're still not telling me why you think you need to leave," pressed Doyle, leaning forward and ducking his head to try and get Bodie to look at him.

"Oh, but I am," said Bodie. "I just never had to tell anyone this before so I'm not sure exactly how to go about it."

"That's easy, just tell me." Doyle stopped rubbing Bodie's shoulders, but he kept his hand firmly on his back.

"Okay...." Bodie sat up straight and turned to face Doyle. "I'm not normal."

Doyle tried to smother the snicker that coughed out.

"Look, do you want to know or don't you?" said Bodie in exasperation.

"I'm sorry. Please, go on."

Bodie glared at Doyle a moment before continuing. "Remember that time I was knifed and was holed up in that abandoned building?"

Doyle nodded. By all rights Bodie shouldn't have survived that long without medical attention immediately, but somehow he had.

"Well, I wouldn't have been in that bad of shape had I followed my nature and taken what I needed from that boy, Tommy. But I couldn't risk exposing myself for what I am. Wasn't sure who he might have told about me."

"I'm not following you here," said Doyle.

"I could have taken what I needed from him, just like that bird tonight and that bastard today at the warehouse, but it would have been too risky to do that," said Bodie, knowing he wasn't make it very clear to Doyle by the confused look on his partner's face. "Blood, Ray. I'm talking about taking some of their blood. It was so long between being knifed and the transfusion of blood at the hospital that my system took a while to kick in. But once it did, I wasn't down for very long if you remember. Afterward, they released me pretty quick from hospital."

"What?" Doyle shifted back slightly, wondering if maybe Bodie had suffered a blow to the head that the doctor had missed.

Bodie couldn't believe Doyle could be so thick headed. "I'm a vampire, Doyle. A bloody vampire!"

Doyle sat there a moment then started laughing. "Right. You turn into a bat, sleep in a coffin and drink peoples...blood." The humour suddenly drained out of him as he remembered the puncture wounds on the woman's neck.

"Only the last part you got right," said Bodie. "Most of what surrounds us is so much peasant legends that it's ridiculous."

"You're serious," said Doyle, really looking at Bodie.

"Of course I am." Once he had admitted it, Bodie was finding it a little easier to continue. "We're pretty much like you, except it takes a little more to kill us, but we do die, of old age. Our life span is much longer than yours, a little over double. Of course, sunlight doesn't harm us, nor does garlic and the like...."

"Bodie," interrupted Doyle. "You're honestly sitting here, telling me you're a...a vampire, and expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, I do."

Doyle shook his head. "I just can't. You sure you don't need to see if you've banged your head harder than you thought?"

Bodie stared at Doyle, debating on whether or not to prove it. Making up his mind, he stood and started to unbutton his shirt.

"What are you doing?" asked Doyle, when Bodie started to undress.

"Proving my point." Bodie slipped off his shirt and waited.

At first, Doyle thought Bodie had seriously lost it after all, then he really looked at Bodie's torso. The skin was practically healed and the slight pink marks of new skin showed where Bodie had taken shrapnel from the explosion. Only the deepest of gashes still remained as still healing cuts. Mesmerized, he reached out and ran a hand down Bodie's chest and stomach. "Turn around." He repeated the light caress on Bodie's back, trying to believe what his eyes were telling him.

"Convinced?" asked Bodie, turning back to face Doyle.

"That's not possible," Doyle said, his voice tinged with awe. "I saw your injuries myself. You were sliced up pretty good."

Bodie nodded and sat back down on the couch. "They were there. But do you see now why I can't stay? Too many more close calls like today and people are going to start wondering. It doesn't help that I age slower than everyone else either."

Doyle shifted his stare from Bodie's smooth chest to his face. "So you were just going to leave, make me believe you were dead."

"I'm sorry," said Bodie. "You are the last person I ever want to hurt."

"But you had no problem letting me think you had died with only angry words between us," spat Doyle. "You're so sorry that you went ahead and tried to pull that stunt anyhow. If I hadn't followed you tonight, I would have believed you had died when we found your car. It didn't matter to you that I would have blamed myself for how things were left between us." Doyle wanted to punch Bodie, to lash out with all the hurt and guilt he would have been left with. To know how close he had come tonight to losing Bodie for good seared through his heart. Nothing mattered to him as much as Bodie in his life. Not his job, his family, or anything else. Not even Bodie's claim of being a vampire.

Bodie lowered his head, unable to look at the hurt and anger reflected in Doyle's eyes. "But now you know, so you don't have to blame yourself when I'm gone."

"Gone!? What do you mean gone? You still can't seriously be considering leaving," shouted Doyle, jumping up and towering over Bodie's slumped form.

"Nothing's changed. I still have to leave." Bodie's voice was low and soft.

"Then I'm bloody well leaving with you," announced Doyle, daring Bodie to argue.

"You don't know what you're saying," said Bodie, his head jerking up to look directly at Doyle.

"I know that I don't want you to leave me, that somehow, somewhen, you became my life and I won't let you go and throw it away." Doyle's entire body was tense with fear and anger. He didn't care whether or not Bodie found out just how deeply his feelings ran for him, he was fighting to keep Bodie with him.

"Ray...."

"Dammit, Bodie. Don't you get it? There's nothing to keep me here if you go. Not the job, it's never been the job," said Doyle. "If it hadn't been for you, I'd have gotten out of it a long time ago."

Bodie couldn't help it, he smiled.

"What?" demanded Doyle, tensing with the thought that Bodie was laughing at him, at his feelings.

"Is funny is all. I stayed here longer than I should have because of you."

Doyle looked at him in bewilderment.

"You're the reason I stayed this long," explained Bodie. "I never allowed myself to get close to anyone like I have with you. It's not safe to be vulnerable and you worked your way right under my barriers, making me...." He trailed off, not sure if his declaration would be welcome after all.

"Making you what, Bodie?" said Doyle, leaning more toward him. He needed to hear what he thought Bodie had been about to confess.

"It's not important." Bodie looked away.

"That's twice tonight," said Doyle, his green eyes glittering. "Don't lie to me a third time, Bodie, or I'll pop you one but good."

"When did I lie to you?" asked Bodie.

"When you claimed to have a date and instead you met with some guy," answered Doyle, his hands on his hips.

"I guess I should have used the word appointment then," countered Bodie. "Besides, it was you who jumped to the conclusion that I was going to see some bird. A date doesn't have to be with a bird, you know."

"Really? You mean you fancy the lads as well?" Doyle's heart jumped a beat despite the off handed way he said it.

"Not generally, but there's one that has caught my eye," challenged Bodie, daring Doyle to make something of it.

Doyle's breath caught as he saw the meaning in Bodie's eyes. "You serious?"

Bodie gave him a slight nod, bracing himself for Doyle's reaction.

"We're fools," said Doyle, flopping back on the couch, all fight gone out of him. "The both of us. Fools. Things are never easy, is it? I've been trying hard to hide how I feel and here you've been feeling the same way. We can do this. Between the two of us we can make this work."

"It doesn't matter, Ray," said Bodie, breaking into Doyle's rambling. "I still have to go, not safe for me to stay here any longer."

"If you leave Bodie-mate, I'm going with you," said Doyle. "You might not have exactly said it, but I feel the same way about you. Don't matter none to me that you're different. We're all different in our own way from everybody else. We'll deal with it."

"I can't ask you to leave behind your life," protested Bodie, but his heart wasn't truly in it. To have Doyle with him would make starting over an adventure, something to look forward to, not a sentence that was the price he had to pay for his nature.

"God, but you're thick headed." Doyle exclaimed in disbelief. "Haven't you been listening to me? You are my life. Doesn't matter where we are, or who we are, as long as we're together. You and me."

"It won't be easy having to move all the time, never being able to set down roots." Bodie needed Doyle to understand what he would be getting into should he come with him. "I can't afford to bring attention to myself when I don't age at the same rate as those around me. Otherwise, there'll be questions neither of us will be able to answer."

That made Doyle stop and think. "So you're saying that eventually you'll not want to be with me when I'm old and gray. Won't even allow us the short time we could have because I'll get old on you and it'll look queer if you're involved with an old man."

The hurt and rejection struck Bodie and he immediately moved to hug Doyle close. "That's not what I meant, nor does it have to be that way. I only meant being with me, you'd have to always be on the move. Never have a home or friends but for brief stints."

"Home is wherever you are, Bodie," said Doyle, hugging Bodie back, afraid that if he let go, Bodie would vanish forever. "If you're going, let's go together. Promise me, Bodie. You won't leave me behind."

"This is a big decision to make. Shouldn't you take some time and think about it?" Bodie tightened his hold around Doyle, wanting to memorize every moment of this embrace should it prove to be the last.

"Won't matter. I'll feel the same way a hundred years from now," said Doyle.

"Only if you're sure." Bodie couldn't fight Doyle and himself. He would give anything to have Doyle by his side in the future ahead of them.

"I'm sure," said Doyle, pulling away from Bodie. "I want whatever time we can have together."

"We can have however long you want," replied Bodie.

"I want our whole lives."

"That's a couple centuries, give or take a decade or two," smiled Bodie, happiness filling him.

"Um, there's a slight hitch in that," grimaced Doyle. "I'm not like you. I don't have that long of a life span."

"You could," said Bodie, licking his lips nervously. "That is, if you trust me enough."

"I only trust you with my life, how much more can I trust you?"

"Trust me with your death," said Bodie.

That stunned Doyle. "You mean killing off Ray Doyle, go somewhere as someone else, right?"

"That, too. But I'm talking about giving you a longer life through your death, or as close to death as you've ever been." If Doyle was to agree to this, he had to understand exactly what he was getting into.

"What? You going to drain me of my blood and bring me back?" laughed Doyle, nervously. The memory of him fighting for his life after being shot filled him.

Bodie nodded, his face serious.

"Um, do you kill people when you take their blood?" asked Doyle. "And does that mean I'm going to have go around playing Dracula as well?"

"No. That would bring too much attention to us. As long as you take only as much as the donor can tolerate, there's no harm." Bodie waited as Doyle digested that little bit of fact. "We don't need blood to survive an every day existence. We seek it out only when we are severely injured."

"But to change me to be like you, you'll have to take more than you'd normally would, right?" Doyle bit his lower lip and looked wide eyed at Bodie.

"Yes."

After a moment, Doyle's whole posture changed. "Let's do it."

"Ray, if we do this, there's no going back," said Bodie, his heart rate spiking in excitement and hope.

"Nothin' to go back to," insisted Doyle, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and tugging the collar away from his neck. "Come on, then."

Bodie studied Doyle before moving in close and wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. "Trust me," he whispered as he lightly brushed his lips over the pale skin of Doyle's neck. He felt Doyle shiver and he held him tighter.

Doyle closed his eyes, concentrating on Bodie's lips caressing his neck and jaw. He trembled as his body started to respond in arousal at the intimate touch. Warm breath tickled his ear and he couldn't suppress the tremor that ran through him when Bodie licked his neck. The moment Bodie pierced his skin, he arched his back against the sharp pain. A sense of euphoria washed away any traces of the pain quickly and he leaned into Bodie's embrace.

Anticipating the shock when he bit into the vulnerable flesh before his saliva that changed when he fed could numb the area, Bodie gripped Doyle harder to his body. The rich, hot liquid flowed into his mouth, sending waves of pleasure over him. He continued to drink more than he had ever taken from a person, more than he needed to finish the last bit of healing to his wounds. He felt Doyle's body go limp in his arms as he continued to drink. The pulsing liquid heat started to slow and he had to suck harder.

Doyle felt like he was floating, disconnected to his body. Darkness descended around him and he felt himself let go, surrendering to the peace that beckoned to him.

Bodie released Doyle, sitting back and gasping as the feeling of unbelievable power rushed through his whole being. He now understood the lure to go past the point of common sense while feeding. His groin throbbed with an aching desire, his skin overly sensitive to the very air currents that caressed his skin. A deep groan passed his lips as his body arched into the sensation. He turned his head, his eyes glowing a deep blue, wanting to share this moment with Doyle.

The sight of Doyle pale and limp brought him back to himself. Struggling to sit up, he quickly bit his own wrist and pressed it against Doyle's soft, lax lips, letting the source of life seep into his mouth. "Come on, Ray. Don't let go mate, you gotta fight it." Bodie muttered encouragement under his breath, willing Doyle to accept the life he was offering back to him.

A warmth was the first sensation that Doyle noticed as the darkness started to recede. A fiery heat filled his mouth and his throat convulsed again and he swallowed once more. At first he tried to turn his head away from the sharp tang of copper, but he was held firm.

"Drink, Ray," ordered Bodie, ignoring the singing in his own veins.

Bodie's persistent voice penetrated the fog that had settled around Doyle, and he closed his mouth over the source of the fiery liquid. With each swallow, he felt more alive, stronger.

"That's it," whispered Bodie, watching the pale cheeks turn rosy with life.

Finally Doyle gasped and pulled his head away, his whole being tingling with energy, centring on his groin. "Bodie?"

"Right here," said Bodie, softly. He eased back, giving Doyle room to sit up. The movement caused his trousers to slide against his erection and his hand moved to grip himself, while clenching his teeth.

"You okay?" asked Doyle, catching the desperate expression on Bodie's face. He gasped in surprise when he saw Bodie's eyes glowing sapphire blue.

"I should be asking you that," said Bodie, gasping against the increasing pressure of desire. He didn't want to scare off Doyle, not now.

"Are you hurting? Did doing this hurt you?" asked Doyle, still staring at Bodie's beautiful eyes. He hadn't thought to ask whether or not sharing Bodie's gift with him would cause him pain.

"Not exactly," gritted out Bodie, shutting his eyes. He shifted, trying to ease the uncomfortable tightness of his pants.

"Then what's wrong?" persisted Doyle, blinking when he was released from the lure of Bodie's gaze. He rubbed his neck where the two tiny wounds were already healing.

"It's noth...," Bodie stopped, his breath caught in his throat as he saw the emerald glow of Doyle's eyes glaring at him. Doyle had warned him he'd pop him one if he wasn't truthful. "I...uh.... How do you feel?" he asked instead.

"Horny," snorted Doyle, then his eyes went wide. "Oh!"

"Yeah, just magnify it about ten times and that's how I'm feeling." Bodie could feel his blush highlight the rosy glow already on his cheeks.

"Is it always this intense when you feed off someone?" Doyle squirmed, finally giving up and releasing the confines of his jeans. The temporary relief the freedom gave him had him sighing.

"No, but you do get excited to some degree," admitted Bodie, following Doyle's example and opening the fly of his pants. The lessening of pressure was only a fleeting relief. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain control of his libido. Warm pressure gripped him and he jumped, discovering Doyle's hand cradling his cock through the thin material of the y-fronts that separated their skin.

"If I'm moving too fast, just say the word and I'll back off," said Doyle, stilling his hand but not removing it.

Bodie swallowed and licked his lips. "Not too fast at all." He raised his hips and between the two of them tugged off the remainder of his clothes after kicking off his shoes. He watched transfixed as Doyle quickly stripped and held out his hand toward him.

"Come on, don't want our first time to be a grope on the couch." Doyle hoisted Bodie to his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. He took the opportunity to brush his own aching erection against Bodie's smooth hip.

Bodie found walking difficult, his sole concentration on Doyle whose body rubbed against his as they stumbled their way into the bedroom. When they collapsed onto the bed he rolled Doyle beneath him and captured the full lips in a searing kiss. His hips bucked against the heated body lying under him.

"Do it!" hissed Doyle, thrusting up against the pressure on his groin. He grabbed Bodie's hips and met him in desperate urgency, striving toward release.

Bodie ground his hips downward in a circular motion, answering Doyle's strained groan with one of his own. He felt wet heat spread between them as Doyle's body arched against him with a shudder. His own orgasm hit him and bright spots danced behind his closed eyelids.

Doyle dropped back down on the bed, Bodie's body weighing heavily on top of him. He shifted a leg into a more comfortable position and discovered Bodie was still hard. "Thought you came."

"Did," gasped Bodie. "But I'm not near done yet." His whole body tensed when Doyle moved under him.

"Oh." Doyle gently pushed against Bodie, easing him off and to the side. "Let me see if I can't help you with this." He grabbed the corner of the sheet and tenderly cleaned them both up, taking extra care when Bodie hissed between clenched teeth when he wiped over his cock. "Easy," soothed Doyle, moving to hover over Bodie's inert form.

"Ray...."

"Sshh." Doyle lowered his head and kissed Bodie before trailing light kisses down his neck and over his chest. He didn't want to prolong Bodie's discomfort any longer than necessary. He shifted further down and studied the thick column of flesh before him.

"You don't have to do this," ground out Bodie, moving his own hand to gain release, but Doyle caught it and at the same time placed his lips over the crown of his leaking cock. The sensation had Bodie arching off the bed. "Fuck!"

Doyle released Bodie's hand and held onto his bucking hips, trying to control his thrusts so he wouldn't gag. The salty taste on the velvety skin wasn't unpleasant and he used his tongue to lick the soft skin.

The play of Doyle's tongue was his undoing and Bodie held Doyle's head with his hands as he erupted into the warm cavern that surrounded him. He immediately released his hold when Doyle grabbed his wrists and tugged. "Sorry."

"S'alright," coughed Doyle, wiping the remnants of Bodie's seed from his lips and chin while rolling onto his back. "Just never done that before. Hell, never been with a bloke before."

Bodie rubbed his face with his hand then curled against Doyle's side, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on his shoulder. "I'm okay, now."

"Bodie...." Doyle's warning tone made Bodie look at him. He had felt the firmness of Bodie's cock brush against his leg.

Bodie buried his face against Doyle's chest. "It's never been this strong before."

"So you're up to one more round?" Doyle ran his fingers through Bodie's damp hair, making it spike.

"Yeah," admitted Bodie. He started to rub his cock along Doyle's thigh, intent on finishing this.

"Not like that," said Doyle, moving slightly away from Bodie. "Might as well go for the gold, we've done pretty good so far."

Bodie looked at him with confusion, until Doyle rolled over onto his stomach and his meaning became crystal clear. "Ray, you said it yourself. You've never been with a man before." His mouth might be arguing, but his body was siding with Doyle.

"All that means is there has to be a first time, doesn't it?" Doyle widened his legs, offering himself. "Come on, Bodie. I want you. Any way you're willing to let me have you."

"I don't want to hurt you," said Bodie, running his hand up and down Doyle's back.

"I trust you, besides, if things get a little rough, I'll heal," countered Doyle.

"You'll heal, but that doesn't make you immune to pain," argued Bodie.

"Do you really not want me this way?" asked Doyle, shifting a bit to his side and looking directly at Bodie.

"Oh, I want. Maybe too much," said Bodie. "Not sure how much control I have at the moment. You do something to me, Ray."

Doyle's lips twitched into a mischievous grin and he cupped the back of Bodie's head and pulled him into a kiss. "Then do something to me." He sealed his lips over Bodie's once more to stifle any more arguments that Bodie might come up with to not do this.

Bodie found himself lost in the kiss. Any protest he might have conjured up disintegrated into the desire he felt for this man. He ran his hands along Doyle's sides and shifted his weight to settle himself between the wide spread legs.

"Look in the side drawer," suggested Doyle, resettling on his stomach to get comfortable. "I might have a small bottle of lotion left in there from, uh, well...."

"Solo encounters?"

"Hmm." Doyle refused to admit that was exactly why the lotion might be there.

Grasping the bottle, Bodie repositioned himself between Doyle's legs. "Let me know if you change your mind. I can always take care of things the old fashioned way." His only answer was Doyle's wiggling.

Doyle clamped down on his apprehension when he felt Bodie spread his asscheeks apart. He had asked for this, it wasn't like Bodie expected it of him. He jerked in surprise when Bodie kissed him on the small of his back. He had been expecting a probing finger, not the softness of lips.

"Sshh," soothed Bodie, in between gentle kisses as he slowly worked his way downward.

"Bodieeee..." groaned Doyle, burying his face into the crook of his arm as Bodie neared his centre. The flick of a moist tongue nearly had him levitating off the bed, but strong hands held him down. He trembled at the assault of the persistent tongue teasing him, eventually probing gently into his opening.

Doing this to Doyle was making him ache to replace his tongue with his cock, but Bodie forced his mind to focus on making this as good as he could for Doyle. He loosened his grip on Doyle's hips when he felt Doyle struggle to rise to his knees. The new position exposed his goal easily and he explored the virgin territory a little longer with his mouth before replacing his tongue with his finger. He watched as he slowly slipped the tip of his finger inside the tight passage, smiling when a muffled groan drifted toward him. Slowly he moved his finger in and out before gradually adding a second to stretch the tight muscle.

"Now, Bodie," gasped Doyle when the long fingers sliding deep inside him sent sparks through him. He suppressed the moan from the loss of those magical fingers. The spongy, blunt head of Bodie's cock rubbed against his loosened opening and his breath caught in his throat. He braced himself to take Bodie into himself, holding perfectly still.

Bodie held the base of his cock as he lined up to push inside. With as much care as he could muster he pushed until the crown of his cock breached the tight ring that attempted to keep him out. He waited, giving them both a chance to adjust.

Doyle bit his bottom lip against the pain that flared from his centre, grateful that Bodie hadn't continued pushing inside him. He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out, releasing the tension that had built up and easing the ache of Bodie's cock penetrating him. "Go on."

Watching as his cock slid further inside, Bodie groaned. When he felt the walls of Doyle's passage clamp down once again he stopped. Gradually, he worked his way inside until he was flush against Doyle's bum and he was resting his chest on his back.

"That's it. I'm all the way in," said Bodie, nuzzling the sweat soaked curls that clung to Doyle's neck.

"Feels like it," grunted Doyle, as his protesting muscles gradually relaxed around Bodie's bulk.

"You okay?" Bodie closed his eyes against the rippling sensation that travelled along the length of his cock.

"Yeah, just give me a minute," said Doyle, tentatively moving his hips to slide along Bodie's cock. The feel of Bodie rubbing along sensitive nerve endings sent goose bumps up his back.

"Ray!" hissed Bodie, as Doyle slowly fucked himself on his cock.

"It's okay, move," urged Doyle.

With slow, measured thrusts, Bodie moved. He kept pace with Doyle, only increasing in speed and strength as Doyle started to buck against him. He leaned his weight on Doyle's back, slipping his hand along his chest and stomach until he fisted his hard cock. He pumped in time to his thrusts, grunting with each deep shove inside the hot channel.

Doyle arched his back, lost in the dual sensation of Bodie's fist and cock, spiralling out of control as his climax built toward completion.

"Love you," gasped Bodie, feeling their souls join. He bit the back of Doyle's neck, not the bite of a vampire but with the bite of a lover as they both tumbled over the edge.

Together they collapsed flat on the bed, gasping for much needed air as their hearts pounded in their chests. A faint hiss escaped Doyle as Bodie withdrew and rolled off to the side.

"If it's like this every time, it just might kill me," groaned Doyle, forcing himself to move. He flopped himself on Bodie, holding him close.

"Then it's a good thing you're a vampire now," chuckled Bodie. "You'll be able to survive it." A comfortable silence fell between them, each enjoying the simple act of holding each other.

Despite the serenity settling over them, reality seeped back into his thoughts. "I've gotta make a phone call," said Bodie, untangling himself from Doyle.

"You what?" asked Doyle, sitting up and staring at Bodie in disbelief.

"We'll need to get you a new identity, and since you're new in the network it might take a couple of days," explained Bodie as he reached for the bedside phone.

"Can't this wait?" asked Doyle.

"Doyle, I already pushed my car over the dock, remember? I can't very well go into work and tell Cowley I did it on purpose, can I?" Bodie searched Doyle's face for any signs of regret. "Doyle?"

Doyle pinched the bridge of his nose and raised his other hand to forestall Bodie. "You're right. I just didn't expect you to jump out of bed right after...I mean, it was nice lying together...oh, fuck it. I like to cuddle afterwards, okay?"

Bodie relaxed and broke into a grin. "It's more than okay." He pushed Doyle back and stretched alongside him. "I'm looking forward to a lifetime of cuddles with you."

Laughter erupted when Bodie darted his fingers along Doyle's sides and started to tickle him. "Stop! Stop it, Bodie!" gasped Doyle, struggling to get away.

Bodie stilled his hands and chuckled in devilment glee as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"That is not cuddling," laughed Doyle, swatting Bodie on the shoulder.

"Oh? I find cuddling comes in many forms," grinned Bodie. "Any time I'm physically close to you is cuddling to me."

"Oh, shit," laughed Doyle, shaking his head. "You're such a berk, you know that?"

"Ah, but I'm your berk," said Bodie, leaning down and kissing him.

"That you are," sighed Doyle, melting under Bodie. He reluctantly broke the kiss, his own thoughts settling on their situation. "Guess you best make that call, huh?

"Yeah," agreed Bodie.

---

Morning sunlight woke him and he turned over to face his bedmate. Doyle would have thought last night a dream except Bodie was snoring beside him. His thoughts turned inward, going over the choices that had been made last night. He knew he would make the same choices again to keep this man close.

The jarring ring of the phone startled him and he rolled over to answer it as Bodie snuffled awake. He held the receiver to his ear, "Doyle."

"Get over to the docks," came Cowley's clipped voice.

"Sir?" Doyle glanced over at Bodie who was watching him closely.

"What part don't you understand?" By Cowley's tone, the man was in no mood for argument.

"But you gave us two days off," said Doyle, shoving off the bed covers and sitting up on the edge of the bed. Bodie's hand caressed his back, causing him to close his eyes in remembrance of last night.

"Aye, I did," admitted Cowley, his tone suddenly softening. "This involves Bodie, Doyle. I need you come down here."

"Fuck," said Doyle, under his breath, twisting to look back at Bodie. "What about Bodie?"

"Just get here, son." Only someone who knew Cowley well could have caught the catch in his voice.

"On my way." Doyle hung up the phone and held perfectly still.

"What's wrong?" asked Bodie, having a pretty good idea what was going on.

"Cowley's down at the docks," said Doyle, relaying the rest in silence.

"Guess my disappearance has been discovered earlier than I thought it would be," sighed Bodie.

"How can you expect me to show up and pretend that you're dead? I'm not going to have any answers to his million questions." Doyle stood up and started to pace back and forth. "And what about when I do my own disappearing act? Huh? Think the Cow'll just accept that as well?"

"Never said it was going to be easy," said Bodie, grimacing with hurt. "I'm sorry, I never should have...."

"Don't you dare," snapped Doyle. "I don't regret stopping you from leaving me last night and I sure as hell don't regret the choice of taking the chance to spend our future together. I'll figure out something when I get there." He yanked on his jeans and grabbed a shirt, tugging it on as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Doyle, wait," called Bodie, scrambling from the bed. He didn't bother to dress and hurried after Doyle.

"What? If I don't hurry down there, the Cow will think something's up," said Doyle, his voice tight. "After all, this involves you and Cowley knows exactly how protective we are with each other."

"Exactly," said Bodie. "So don't show up."

"What are you blabberin' on about?" Doyle shoved his feet into his boots and gathered up his holster.

"Disappear," said Bodie. "Vadier said he should have your new identity ready by tonight, we just hang low until then."

"Bodie, I just spoke to the man. He's waiting on me."

"So? Things happen in a blink of an eye in this life."

Doyle studied him, weighing his words.

---

The sun finally dipped beyond the horizon as they watched the darkening sky set on their new life. They had spent the day holed up in Vadier's home, waiting for the documents for Doyle to start them on their way.

"It is time," said Vadier, silently walking into the study.

They shouldered their bags and made their way toward the front door. All three halted when a sharp, insistent knocking sounded. Vadier ushered them back toward the study and waited until they were out of sight before opening the door.

Faint murmurs of conversation could be heard through the closed door to the study as Bodie and Doyle looked at each other. They both stepped back in surprise as the door opened and Vadier led his guest into the room.

"I thought I'd find you here," said Cowley, eyeing Bodie. "But I hadn't figured on Doyle."

"Sir?" Bodie was the first to find his voice.

"Vadier is an old acquaintance of mine," said Cowley. "I had been expecting you to vanish, Bodie. Figured out we were more alike than I first thought, but I hadn't counted on Doyle as well."

"Uh, he wasn't. At least not until last night," said Bodie, understanding rushing right behind Cowley's words.

"I see." Cowley's eyes narrowed and pinned Doyle where he stood. "Had I known, I would have included Doyle's disappearance along with yours."

"Sir?" Doyle finally found his own voice.

"How did you know? I mean, that my being missing wasn't due to some misadventure?" asked Bodie.

"Give me some credit, lad," smirked Cowley. "No sign of a struggle, yet your car was pushed into the water. No bullet holes to be found anywhere, yet you were forced to drive your car over the dock."

"Oh." Bodie glanced over at Doyle. "But what about him, Sir?"

"I'll think of something," said Cowley. "I usually do."

"Thank you, Sir," said Doyle, still digesting the fact that Cowley knew exactly what Bodie, what they, were because he was one, too.

Once again, they grabbed their belongings and headed out.

"Take care and let the wind guide you in your destiny," said Vadier, standing next to Cowley as they climbed into the waiting car.

Cowley looked on, a distant look on his face as he silently bid farewell to them.

---

The plane took off into the star glittering night, carrying two passengers that had been born anew.

They sat together, Doyle leaning over Bodie to look out the window at the dwindling island of England. "We'll come back some day, won't we?"

"Yes," promised Bodie. "A day will come when moving on is coming back home."

-- THE END --

Originally published in Love Bites, AngelWings Press, 2002