Bodie surreptitiously rubbed the small of his back. Damn, the rest room sofa's bloody uncomfortable. It was hard as a rock, sagged in all the wrong places, had a sodding loose spring, and was about six inches too short for him to stretch out comfortably. He was going to have to check himself into an hotel and then request a new flat assignment. Cowley was not going to be pleased. He was, also, not likely to be surprised.

Why couldn't the old man, for once, mind his own business? Bodie groused to himself. But no, Cowley had come in early, taken one look at the sign in logs, seen that three seven had spent the night at headquarters, and made a beeline straight for the rest room to pump his agent on what was going on between him and four five. He'd clammed up, of course. Cowley was no marriage counsellor and it was none of his business if his and Ray's relationship was falling apart at least not until it started affecting the job. Bodie sighed. He had to concede that if it wasn't affecting the job yet, it soon would be. Going to have to get a handle on this before much longer.

Towards that end, Bodie had decided to go back to their flat this afternoon, pack a bag, and check into an inexpensive hotel. It would take a couple of weeks to get a new flat assignment at the very least. He'd have to run it by Cowley, and he dreaded that. It would give the old man another excuse to pry into his relationship. The Controller always wanted to know when his agents had personal problems particularly if that agent was three seven. He reflected that for once it wasn't such a benefit to be the Cow's blue eyed boy. Cowley would want to know what had gone wrong, and he'd expect an answer. And that was the whole damn problem: Bodie didn't have a clue.

He and Ray had been sniping at each other for three or four weeks, and this last week they'd done nothing but fight about anything, everything, and nothing. Last night it had almost come to blows, and he'd stormed out, got himself good and tipsy, and passed out on the rest room sofa. First full six hours of sleep he'd had in days, maybe weeks. Unfortunately, it'd been due mostly to the booze, so today he was paying the price with a minor hangover, major headache, and a sore back and arse. He massaged the aching areas again and tried to think beyond the pain. Trouble was, his physical pain was the least of it.

He didn't want to give Ray up he loved the sarky sod but he hadn't an idea how to make it work any longer. Bodie knew he couldn't blame it all on his mate. He'd been feeling trapped and closed in himself over the last month or so. After twenty eight years of being single, he was finding it difficult to adjust to having a live in lover, not just to having someone always there, but to having them worrying about him and wanting a call if he was going to change his plans.

It had started four weeks ago when he'd stayed out late with an old merc mate he'd bumped into. When he'd finally got home at the not too late hour of one a.m. Ray had been all over him. He supposed he should have called, but, dammit, he was a grown man. He could take care of himself, had been doing it just fine for damn near fifteen years. He didn't need Ray at home fussing about when he got in. He remembered the fight well . . . .

"Where the hell have you been?" Ray's voice scolded the minute he'd entered the flat. He hadn't even had a chance to set the locks.

Bodie was tired, and his head hurt, his stomach, too. It hadn't been such a good idea, he realised, to skip dinner and just have some crisps at the pub, and he was in no mood for an inquisition.

"Ran into an old mate from Africa. Spent the evening catching up."

"Why didn't you answer your r/t?"

"Because it didn't signal?" Bodie was sure that one of them was acting like a moron and he damn well knew it wasn't him. "What'd you go and do, have me called?" He was indignant at the thought. "You're not me mum, and I'm all grown up; can have a night out by meself now and again."

"No I bloody well didn't. Cowley did. There was trouble and you were nowhere to be found." Ray glared at him and continued, "How the hell do you think I felt telling the old man that I didn't have the foggiest where you were and why you didn't answer the call. You might at least have made sure that your equipment worked if you were going off without telling anyone."

"It worked just fine when I left base and it's working fine now." At Ray's sceptical look Bodie pressed the send button and said, "Three seven to base. Doyle says you've been looking for me."

"Base, three seven. Damn right. Cowley's going to have a few choice words for you in the morning, you're to report to him first thing. You know better than to turn off your r/t or go out of range when you're on standby."

"Didn't turn it off, it's been on all night. And I was less then ten miles from base."

"Well, we've tried to raise you every half hour for the last five hours. If you hadn't checked in, in another hour we were to put out an all-stations alert. You can tell it all to the old man in the morning. Base out."

"Bloody hell, why'd you let 'em drop me in it? Couldn't you have come up with a cover?" Bodie was aggrieved. Partners were supposed to cover for you.

"Was too damn worried "

"I've been taking care of myself since I was fourteen. I'm capable of finding my way home "

"Yeah, well there weren't a bunch of terrorists out gunning for you then "

"What the hell are you going on about, Doyle?" Bodie was tired and just wanted to go to bed, and coming in a few hours late was no reason to get into such a snit.

"Flynn's mob tried to break him out during a late transfer from court to prison." Doyle spoke as if he were talking to a six year old. It was getting up Bodie's nose real fast.

"Transfers are late afternoon. I was still at HQ then."

"Yeah, well, his mob used some delaying tactics: car trouble, staged accident, one of the guards disappearing; by the time they were ready to move him, it was after dark and very late. Only thing that saved them was that one of the guards was uptight about all that had gone on. So, when he spotted an accident up ahead on the road to the prison, he called in for back-up and insisted they turn around. The terrorists chased them, but by the time they caught up and had forced them off the road, back-up was there. Caught all of them, but Flynn was killed in the crash. The van carrying him turned over, and his neck was broken. The guards suffered some broken bones, but they'll be fine in a couple of months."

"So what's that got to do with me? 's not any of our concern."

"It is when one of the men captured starts ranting about how they'd made sure that Flynn wouldn't be convicted anyway if it went to trial. Can't convict without witnesses."

"That put the wind up the police and they contacted Cowley, who then -- since we are two of the star witnesses -- put out the call for us. I was still at HQ, fortunately; they'd managed to put a bomb in my car. The old man's mad as blazes over that. Going to be some heads rolling in security, you can be sure."

"I take it that you didn't even get in the car." Bodie refused to acknowledge the ache in his gut at the thought of what might have happened to his lover. He couldn't bring himself to admit how important Ray had become to him.

"No, Cowley ordered me to stay in the building while they checked out the car. Looks like they planned to take out both of us in the blast. Lucky you checked out early and used another car. Then I had the old man at me for the next couple of hours trying to pin down where you were. Told him thought you were going to grab some food and head home. So he sent a team to the flat to search. That turned up nil. By that time they'd turned over Flynn's mob's hide out and came up with two bodies. Neither met your description, but I still had to go down and be sure. One was the missing guard, and the other was the grass Malloy."

"What are you doing here then? Shouldn't you be at a safe house?" Try as he might to hide it, Bodie couldn't help but be worried about his mate.

"Well, with Flynn dead I'm no longer needed as a star witness. And we've confirmed that we got the rest of his mob in this haul, so the Cow sent me home in case you showed up. Damn it, Bodie, I've been worried sick. You think I liked going down to the morgue just in case you turned up there?"

Feeling guilty as hell, Bodie reacted defensively with anger. "How was I supposed to know all this was happening "

"Well, if you'd kept the bleeding r "

"I had the fucking thing on all night, I tell you. I don't know why it didn't beep."

"Well, you'd better figure it out, 'cause the old man's not going to take kindly to 'I don't know.'"

"Give it a rest, Doyle."

"I fucking will not. Next time you change your plans like that, you can damn well call and let me know."

"You're not me mum "

"No, I'm your lover, and I just spent one of the worst nights of my life waiting for your body to turn up "

No one can lay on the guilt like Ray bleeding Doyle, Bodie thought angrily to himself. If I don't give in he's never going to shut up. Fuck! "All right. All right. If I'm going to be delayed longer than a hour or change my plans, I'll call. Satisfied? You do the same." At Ray's nod, he finished sarcastically, "Can I get ready for bed now, or do you want to wipe me bum for me?" He'd had enough, and the prospect of facing their boss in the morning for more of the same left him feeling definitely put upon. Considering the circumstances though, he couldn't really fault Ray for not covering.

He finished his ablutions and joined Ray in their bed. As he was angry, he'd thought that he wasn't in the mood, but when Ray rolled over and pulled him into his arms, Bodie'd found himself shaking from fear at what they'd almost lost. They made love passionately that night and had the bruises to show for it the next morning.

He'd got a dressing-down from Cowley and had to take one of CI5's technicians out to figure out why the r/t hadn't worked: the Controller apparently had his doubts that three seven was telling him the truth about the r/t. Dawson, the radio expert, took one look at the pub which was located in a rather seedy industrial area and said, "Bloody hell, three seven, try noticing your surroundings sometime. You've got an electric substation and massive power lines to support the manufacturing in the district. Isn't any wonder the r/t didn't work."

That had delivered Bodie out of Cowley's bad graces and a directive issued to all standby agents to check r/t reception on a regular basis and to call in if there were problems. They'd got off lucky this time, but the Controller did not want a repeat of the previous night. He'd also made some crack about how Bodie should have noticed. Three seven had kept his mouth shut but groused to himself as to how the hell he was supposed to spot a substation after dark and know that it would screw up communications.

Doyle had calmed down once Bodie was home safely and been satisfied with their agreement. But Bodie, although he kept his end of the bargain, wasn't happy with the arrangement: it ate at him every bloody time he had to call. There hadn't been too many times only once, really, since they spent most of their time together but Bodie hated it, and he knew he hadn't tried too hard to disguise that fact. That had created tension in their relationship.

From that night on, both men had walked on egg shells around each other. Going home wasn't restful: they were too busy being polite in between blow ups, that was and when they weren't fighting, they were snipping. They'd managed to keep it from flowing over into the job, mostly by not talking to each other about anything but their cases while at work, but the stress was starting to tell.

It had all blown up the previous night when Ray had come in five hours later than he was supposed to without calling. Every minute that ticked by while Doyle was late had added to Bodie's secret glee at soon being able to get his own back.

The minute Ray'd made it through the door he had started in. "Where the hell have you been, Doyle? Thought we were supposed to call if we were going to be late? I take it that rule only applies to me?" Bodie watched as his partner tiredly set the locks. And walk towards the kitchen, saying nothing.

Irritated, he had continued, "Well, where were you? It was your bloody rule can't you live with it? Not so much fun having to check in with someone like they were your mum is it? Give me all that grief, and then you don't make it more than a month before you start doing the same thing. Well, what do you have to say for yerself, mate? Ready to do away with that stupid rule yet? Accept the fact that we're grown men, not snot-nosed kids."

Bodie had truly enjoyed getting his own back, but the next time he'd paused to take a breath his partner jumped in, "Look, Bodie, Anson flagged me down driving out of the parking lot not even the bloody building, but the bloody car park jumped in the car and told me to hop to it, okay? I called in a message to control via the r/t telling them to call you and tell you that I'd been held up on an obbo. Thought that just maybe you might want to come and watch my back." Bodie started to speak, but Ray held up his hand for silence. "I don't know why they didn't call you; they were supposed to."

"Well, I've been waiting by the phone all night and there hasn't been a peep."

"Did you bother to call into HQ and see if they knew where I was?"

Bodie was chagrined to realise that he hadn't he'd been looking forward too much to telling Doyle off and getting rid of that ridiculous agreement to worry about why his partner might be late. He didn't like having to report to anybody and was damn well not going to put up with it. Doyle's being as late as he was, he'd viewed it as the perfect opportunity to do away with the stupid rule. He was determined that Doyle wasn't going to slip off the hook. "That wasn't the bargain. You were supposed to call "

"Yeah, well tell that to the Cow and Anson; they didn't give me a chance. I suppose it never occurred to you that something might have happened to me, did it? No, you were too busy gloating that you'd caught me out. Well, sod off, mate. I'm going to get cleaned up and go to bed. I'm too damn tired to deal with any more tonight."

"Dammit, Doyle . . . Doyle . . . !"

Ray turned his back and went into the loo, locking the door behind him, turning the water on to drown out any more Bodie might have to say. Pissed, Bodie yelled through the door, "Fuck you! Don't have to put up with this." Bodie'd slammed his fist against the bathroom door, grabbed his jacket, and stormed out of the flat, slamming the door behind him. Ignoring the voice in his head that asked him what if Ray had been in trouble he wasn't; he was fine, and he just hadn't wanted to embarrass himself in front of Anson and his boss by admitting that he had to call and check in with his room mate. Bodie was sure of it. Living with Ray is just not going to work out. I don't need someone tying me down, expecting me to put up with a double standard.

"Come on, Bodie, we're finished here." Cowley's voice snapped him out of his pessimistic reflections.

He'd been drafted as the old man's driver. Bodie was certain it was so that the Controller could pump him about his partner problems. Well, he wasn't having any of it and wished the old man would just give over.

Back at HQ they'd bumped into Anson, who asked, "Where's Doyle?"

Before Bodie could snap a rejoinder about not being Doyle's keeper, Cowley had answered, "If he's not at home on sick leave recovering from the injuries he incurred last night, then he damn well better be in the medical centre getting them checked out thoroughly."

"Well, he doesn't answer at home, but I haven't checked with the doc. Is he well enough to help me finish up the report so that we can close this case? I've debriefed everyone else."

"Ach, man, I'm no doctor. You'll have to ask him. But you tell four five only to finish up that report and then home for two full days sick leave. More, if the doctor suggests it."

"Aye, sir." Anson turned and headed downstairs to medical. He wasn't looking forward to being the Controller's messenger boy. Doyle was an explosion waiting to happen at the best of times, and even worse when ill or injured, and it was a well known fact that he hated to be on sick leave while his partner was still on duty. The only one worse about sick leave was Bodie, and from the expression that he'd just seen on three seven's face, that was a grenade with the pin out just looking for an excuse. Those two deserve to be partners, sarky sods.

Bodie was confused. Ray had been hurt and he didn't even know. Been too busy trying to get his own back to even notice how bad his partner had looked when he came in last night. He shot a glance at the back of Cowley's head. The old sod wasn't saying anything, even though he had to know that Bodie didn't know a damn thing. Bastard! He'd be damned if he'd ask. And why hadn't Ray told him he refused to admit that he hadn't really given him a chance Doyle should have told him he was hurt . . . . His mind and emotions in turmoil, he was hit with another blow.

"Hey, Bodie, still slaying 'em dead?" Murphy greeted him. Although Cowley was aware of his and Doyle's relationship, no one else was, so the polite fiction that they both still dated was maintained.

Jax, who was with Murph, joined in, "No bird ever sent me flowers. What do you do, drug 'em, put 'em under a magic spell?"

Not willing to admit he had no idea what they were talking about, Bodie said, "Nah, that's Murph's technique. But what flowers are you talking about?"

"Showed up at security an hour ago. Three dozen of the finest red roses this side of me mum's garden," Murphy explained. "They're sitting on your desk in the squad room. Hey, if you don't want them, I've got a new bird I wouldn't mind impressing . . . ."

"Cheap, mate. Go rob a funeral if you want to steal flowers," Bodie tossed back over his shoulder, as he sped up to go and see what was up with the flowers.

Sure enough, they were sitting large as life on his desk. Peripherally, he noticed at least half a dozen agents hanging around who had no business being there. Soddin' snoops, the lot of them! He'd be willing to bet that they'd all had a gander at the card as well Jax and Murphy probably playing lookout to warn them of his arrival. His mind sorted through a list of his old birds who might be trying to get back in touch. There were a couple who had broken things off in a huff after having been stood up one time too often but, still, he and Ray had been exclusive for almost six months, and that was a long time to wait before trying to start up a relationship again.

Deciding that it would be easier to just look at the card than spend time debating who had sent the flowers, he pulled it out. If it had been sealed when the flowers arrived, it wasn't now, confirming his belief that it had been read probably passed about from the look of it. Pulling out the simple card, he read it with a puzzled expression on his face.

'I will love you always.

        Rachel'
But he didn't know a Rachel, couldn't ever remember dating a Rachel, and he'd certainly remember one who claimed undying love and sent him roses wouldn't he?

Slowly, who the sender had to be came to him, and he felt his stomach drop and fought to keep tears from springing to his eyes. He hadn't cried since he was twelve when his mum had died; he wasn't about to start now. At least he hoped to God not. When he was marginally in control, he looked up and scanned the room. If he was right about who had sent them, then he'd be hanging around to see Bodie's reaction. He stopped his scan when he saw Ray lounging in one of the doorways, supposedly talking to Anson and paying no attention to him. But just for a second his partner's gaze focused on him and he winked, then went right back to his conversation with Anson. Anson was too focused on the notes he was taking to finish up his report to pay any attention to the subtle undercurrents.

Bodie pretended to be examining the flowers. He pulled one out of the vase, sniffed it and then casually brushed it along his cheek. Doyle's inattention wasn't so inattentive after that. He looked at Bodie again, smiled, and then ran his tongue along his upper lip. Turning back to Anson, Ray followed him down the hall giving one last sexy swing of his hips just for his lover's sake. Bodie suddenly felt the need for a long cold shower.

He collected himself, put on his mask of arrogant superiority, and bragged about how he slayed the birds. The bragging sent most of the curious agents off on their own business they'd heard it all before from three seven. Satisfied that he'd covered well and was rid of the snoops, he turned to see Cowley observing him closely from across the room. The old bastard wasn't fooled, but he also didn't look about to interfere, so Bodie left it alone and went to join his boss to see what his next assignment was.



Four thirty and Bodie checked his watch again. He tapped it, then held it up to his ear, sure that it had to be broken. Damn, more than five minutes has to have passed since the last time I looked. Feels like a bleeding eternity.

Cowley looked up from the report he was reviewing to see Bodie's impatience. He'd had enough. "Ach, lad, go home. I'll not get any more decent work out of you, and your clock watching's getting on my nerves."

Bodie didn't even bother to deny his boss' observation but gave a big grin before he said, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." He turned and was at the door in three strides. Cowley's voice pulled him up.

"Take tomorrow off. And, Bodie, I don't want to see you on the rest room sofa again unless you're on call. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir. Do me best, sir."

Bodie was out the door and out of the building in record time. His drive home aggravated more than a few commuters and still took too damn long for his liking. Pulling up outside his and Ray's flat, he paused. He'd rather face a dressing down from Cowley than go in and face his mate, but he knew that nothing would get solved by avoiding the issues. He also hated being in the wrong, and yesterday he'd been in the wrong.

Inventing an excuse to go to medical, he'd managed to sneak a glance at his partner's file. Bruising and mild head trauma incurred in a fight: wasn't anything out of the ordinary for them, but what hurt was that he hadn't even known that Ray was out on assignment. If he'd bothered to call in and check, he could have been out in the field backing him up. Control had found the lost message that morning and passed it on he'd raised hell with them for losing it and had made sure the old man was aware of the cock-up. One readthrough and it was obvious that Ray'd wanted him to come and back him up. Instead, four five had been on his own when he'd got ambushed and blocked the swing of a two by four that, had he been any slower, could have killed him; as it was, his arm had suffered a deep bone bruise, and he'd be feeling it for several weeks.

Bodie let himself quietly into the flat in case his partner was asleep. No such luck. Ray was sitting on the sofa, reading. Bodie opened his mouth to try to tell his lover all the mixed, confused emotions he was feeling, but couldn't seem to put them into words, so he operated on instinct. Walking over to his mate, he dropped to his knees in front of him and began to check him over.

First, he gently touched and examined the knot on the side of his head. Then, giving his head a gentle kiss, he moved down and unbuttoned Ray's shirt, softly stroking each bruise he found and then giving it a kiss. He removed the shirt altogether and spent a considerable amount of time on the arm that had taken the brunt of the blow. Nasty bruise deep purple and, from Ray's flinch when he touched him there, very tender. As he gently kissed it, he noticed a salty taste. Realising the cause, he used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. He got up and sat down beside his lover and eased him forward to the edge of the sofa so that he could examine his back carefully, in detail.

Finally, satisfied that he'd seen all Ray's hurts, he carefully pulled him into his arms and held him close. He wasn't even aware of falling asleep.

"Come on, Bodie, wake up. You're lying on my bladder and I need the loo."

Not exactly the most romantic words to wake up to, but they made Bodie smile, nonetheless.

Seeing the sappy smile on his lover's face, Ray felt an answering one of his own, but when Bodie shifted and rolled to burrow his face further into his midsection, he gave him a none too gentle poke. "Give over, or I'm going to have an accident. Had to go when you got home three hours ago. Now I'm desperate."

Still a bit muzzy, Bodie managed to sit up, and Ray was up and out of the room in a hurry. He could hear him in the bathroom and was quite impressed; he called out, "You part camel, Doyle?"

Finishing up and tossing him a two fingered salute, Ray asked, "So what do you want for dinner?" At the look on his mate's face, he added, "Besides me. Food first, then dessert."

"What we got in? The cupboards were getting pretty bare, last time I looked."

"Went shopping this afternoon on my way back, so we're well stocked."

"You're supposed to be taking it easy " Bodie rebuked.

"Can't very well get my strength back if I'm starving. Now can I?"

"I would have . . . ." Bodie's voice trailed off, remembering that he should have been to the shops last night but was too busy waiting to get his own back to bother. "Sorry, Ray."

Hearing the change in his partner's voice, Ray came back into the room, took him in his arms, and gave him a long and thorough kiss. "Going to say this only once, love. I love you. Am crazy about you. And you are stuck with me for the rest of our naturals so learn to live with it. And I'm going to worry. 's just my nature, and I don't think I can change it . . . but I'll try harder to give you the space you need."

Bodie buried his face in the soft curls. "Love you too. Was a damn fool last night, and it could have cost us everything. Won't make that mistake again," he pulled back to look Ray in the eye, "I promise. And I want to be with you now and always. Realised today, when I heard you'd been hurt, and I hadn't been there to back you up, that being independent wasn't all it was cracked up to be." They kissed again, but before it could go further Bodie's stomach growled, loudly.

Snickering, Ray asked, "Bangers and eggs okay with you?"

"Sounds fine. I'll make the toast."

Dinner was filling and good, for all the attention either man paid to it. Bodie knew he should be disgusted with himself, holding hands across the table too silly and romantic, by half but he found he needed the contact. He doubted that this would be their last fight, but he knew that somewhere during the day things had changed for him. He was no longer looking at this as a temporary relationship, one that was eventually going to fall apart like all his others had, but as a long-term commitment that was worth working on. He smiled as he remembered the flowers. Must have cost his mate a pretty penny.

As they washed up he hugged Ray and said, "Forgot to thank you for the flowers. Didn't have to do that, you know."

"Was the only way I reckoned I could get you to listen."

"You didn't think that once I heard you were hurt "

"Nah. Knowing you, you'd go off on your own to brood and feel guilty for a couple of days. Wanted you home, with me. Needed you here."

"Needed to be here; but you're probably right, would have gone off to brood." Bodie gave his love a hard look, "If I say I'm sorry again you going to thump me?"

"It's over, Bodie, let's put it behind us." At his mate's nod of agreement, Doyle put up the last dish and proposed, "Good. Let's go to bed."

They shared one more kiss in front of the kitchen sink and then headed to the bedroom. Ray's injuries still pained him, so Bodie made him lie flat on his back and let him do all the work. He worshipped his lover's body, touching and kissing him gently all over. Each and every bruise was again made a fuss of, and he did a thorough examination of the parts that had been covered by jeans the first time. Most of the bruising was above the waist, but he didn't let that discourage him from making a careful examination of Doyle's lower extremities. His partner's inner thighs had always been extremely sensitive, and Bodie found that he'd added a few bruises of his own to that area by the time he was finished. Snickering, he asked, "When do you go back to see the doc?"

Doyle, who'd been lost in his passion, looked up startled, "Day after tomorrow. Why?"

"Hope he's not going to check you out without your trousers. 'fraid I've added a few marks."

"Won't be the first time, sunshine. Don't worry. He just keeps asking how I always manage to pull in the birds that are right ravers."

"You just tell him it's your sexy little arse that does it." Before Ray could retaliate, he found his cock sucked deep into his lover's mouth, and his reply was lost in a moan. Bodie took his time, allowing climax to build slowly until Ray cried out and stiffened with release. He gave one final kiss and crawled up the bed to lie by his mate.

Within a few minutes Ray rolled over onto him and, kissing him, said, "Your turn."

Bodie just grinned. "Too late, you sexy li'l devil."

"'s wasteful, that."

"Make it up tomorrow."

"Have to wait all day " Doyle groused.

"Nah, the Cow gave me the day off. Told me he didn't want to see me sleeping on the rest room sofa again unless I was on call."

Grinning, Ray said, "So that's where you spent the night. Not very comfortable."

"Bloody uncomfortable. Next fight you can be the stupid one and storm out."

"Nah, leave that for you," he chuckled in reply. Before either man could say more, they were overtaken by yawns. They cuddled up spoon fashion on the bed and were soon fast asleep.

-- THE END --

Originally published in Motet Opus 2 in B and D, Keynote Press, 1997