The Man asked
His M.P., his
M.P. asked
The Minister:
"Can't we catch these criminals
Of whom we live in dread?"
The M.P. asked
The Minister,
The Minister
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and tell
The Cow
Now
Before he goes to bed."

The Minister
He stalked away
And telephoned
George Cowley:
"Can't we shoot these villains?
Someone's yelling for my head!"
George Cowley
Said sleepily,
"You'd better tell
The M.P.
That many people now try
Psychiatry
Instead."

The Minister
Said, "Crikey!"
And went to
The M.P.
The Minister he waffled, and
He turned a little red:
"Referring to
The matter of
The criminals
You mentioned ...
A gentle touch is better than
An agent's
Heavy tread."

The M.P. said,
"Oh, yeah?"
And went to
His constituent:
"Speaking of the criminals
Of whom you live in dread ...
The Minister
Is certain that
Broken homes
Are culpable.
Would you like to try under-
Standing them
Instead?"

The Man swore,
"Bugger!"
And then he said,
"No, bugger them!"
And went to buy a gun.
"Nobody,
You idiot,
Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A villain who
Is always on
The run."

The M.P. said,
"Now, now!"
But went to
The Minister.
The Minister said,
"Come, come!"
And gravely shook his head.
The Cow said,
"Tut, tut!
I didn't really
Mean it;
Here's Bodie with a rifle
And Doyle with the lead."

The Minister said,
"Thank God!"
And went to
The M.P. ;
The M.P. said,
"Hooray!"
And it made a front-page spread.
"Nobody," the Man said
As he put away his shot-gun,
"Nobody, my friends,
Could say I
Was violent --
FOR
I only want those villains to be very slightly dead!"

---

Said Bodie: "You need to be sharper
To wriggle away from Marge Harper.
Don't act like a rabbit!
If you see a chance, grab it
And do a bunk, sharpish and scarper!"

But Raymond was slow when it mattered
Through having by villains been battered,
And not by his choice
Was he in that Rolls Royce
Doing his best to look flattered.

-- THE END --