The Professionals Circuit Archive - Falling Falling by Ashlea It was the same: every night for a week, since Bodie had come down from that bloody tower, Ray Doyle had relived the nightmare shoot-out. Only--it wasn't Bodie they were chasing, and the top of the building seemed to last forever as he ran. There was nowhere to hide and he had no weapons for he was naked. All he had was his hands, his wits and his speed to keep him ahead of his pursuers...He wasn't especially scared--he just couldn't stop running. Dream logic--pathetic, wasn't it? It always ended the same way, too. Suddenly, he'd be scrabbling in mid-air, the roof having disappeared from beneath him, and he'd be falling--God knew how far...Years ago, someone had told him that if he hit the deck while falling in a dream, the shock would kill him: he always woke mid-flight, yelling a denial. At work, the lack of sleep combined with Bodie's somewhat frosty attitude was putting a strain on their partnership. Bodie was still angry that Doyle had been sent to investigate his relationship with Marikka, and for his part, Doyle was furious on both their accounts. Even Cowley had recognized the primary signs of Armageddon. Bodie, Cowley reasoned, would get over his sense of betrayal. In the final analysis, 3.7 was aware that the controller had taken the only course of action open to him under the circumstances--and at least he'd gotten out alive, which at the end of the day was all that mattered. He would recall his mercenary creed--look after Number One, because nobody else will--and starkly dismiss Marikka as 'just another victim'. Bodie would relegate it to an unpleasant memory, together with most of his past, and he would carry on... Doyle was giving him cause for concern. Sleepless nights meant worry or guilt: Cowley had thought he had removed the guilt by ordering Doyle to keep his partner under surveillance--Bodie had survived, so where was the worry? A brief interview resulted in Doyle's being sent to Dr. Kate Ross. In a way, it was a relief: the dream was getting Doyle down in more ways than one. The psychiatrist listened patiently as he recounted the details and asked if there were any variations. Doyle frowned. "I didn't notice, I was concentrating on whoever was chasing me." Dr. Ross looked thoughtful, and then began to question him about the Schumman affair, probing his opinions and views on the case. In deference to the doctor's gender, Doyle moderated his language as he gave vent to his feelings. He hated the set-up on the German side; despised Willis for casually assuming that he could kill one of the CI5 men because it was politically expedient; he was angry with Cowley for suspecting Bodie could be a security threat, but most of all, he was furious at his partner. "Could see he was getting in too deep there." Reading between the lines, Kate Ross could make an educated guess at the cause of the dream. She smiled. "Well, it's over now, Doyle. The reports have been filed, the bodies have been buried..." " I KNOW that!" snapped the agent. "What I don't understand is why I keep having this bloody dream!" The doctor sighed: she wasn't certain she should tell him outright what she had concluded from this brief session. Instead, she would leave him to figure it out for himself. "The person in your dream--the one you're running from--is Bodie," she announced calmly. "Huh?" Doyle looked startled. "Armed with that knowledge, see what happens next time," she advised. "I think it'll resolve itself." "Just like that?" Doyle was unconvinced. "If you're still having problems, come and see me next Monday." Doyle left her office feeling distinctly puzzled. ****** Bodie searched for his partner in all the usual places, to no avail. Someone had spirited the bionic golly away, and he felt a little lost without him, despite his behavior during the Schumman affair. Bodie knew they were long overdue for a serious discussion--not that HE wanted to talk about Marikka: she was dead and she was past. His priorities lay with maintaining his relationship with his partner and rekindling the trust that had been sorely tried... It was Murphy who told him his other half had been closeted with Dr. Ross all afternoon and Bodie was instantly alert. Nobody went to the shrink unless there was a serious problem...He broke all the speed limits getting to his partner's flat. ****** He was running again, running from his partner. He was naked and there was nowhere to hide. This is ridiculous, he told himself--it's only Bodie. I should stop, we have to talk...and he plunged headlong over the edge, much sooner than usual. "NO!" he shrieked, his arms flailing uselessly. "BODIE!" His chest impacted with something solid and he opened his eyes quickly. All he could see was black--black jumper, black jacket, black hair, as Bodie caught him coming awake. He clung on for dear life, shaking violently. There were hands circling over his bare back, a soft voice calming him... "It's alright, I'm here..." He's always here when I need him--but I'm never around when he's in trouble, Doyle thought bitterly. Bodie continued to stroke and pet him and the trembling abated gradually. Lucky Marikka, having him... "Want to tell me about it?" Bodie was whispering in his ear. A shiver ran up Doyle's spine, followed by Bodie's surprisingly gentle touch. "Dream," Doyle mumbled. "Just a dream." Bodie gave a soft snort of disbelief. "That why you saw Dr. Ross?" Doyle nodded with difficulty, his head jammed under Bodie's chin. Bodie shifted, began nosing at the sweat-damp curls. "Bad, was it?" he murmured. Doyle swallowed. Chase--the fall...Bodie's hand massaging his neck. Felt good. It felt better than good... "Was running away..." he confessed. "Dr. Ross said it was you chasing me..." Bodie chuckled softly. "Ah, you can run, but you can't hide," he teased. "What happened next?" "Fall--then I wake up before I hit the bottom..." Doyle was getting drowsy again under the influence of Bodie's touch. "Subconscious message," Bodie told his sleepy companion. "Hmm?" Doyle's eyelids were drooping. Bodie cuddled him close, risking a small kiss on the top of the curly head. "Shh, nothing. Go to sleep, Ray..." "You gonna chase me again...?" Doyle yawned. Bodie smiled. "No point mate." He hugged the wiry frame to him. "I've already caught you." ****** Doyle scratched his jaw and rubbed at the tickle in his nose. It wouldn't go away. He pried open one eyelid. Dark hair...Bodie's head lay beside his on the pillow. He wasn't surprised to find how pleased he felt. Could vaguely recall Bodie saying something about a subconscious message. Doyle rolled onto his back, tucked his free arm beneath his head and considered. Bodie chasing him...no, he had been running away from Bodie, running away from HIS OWN FEELINGS for his partner for quite some time...The moment Marikka showed up and stepped into Bodie's life again, he had become jealous; that someone else could mean more than he did to his partner...Doyle had taken refuge in the task set by Cowley and with that over, there was nowhere to hide... Subconscious message, eh? He turned onto his side. Bodie was still asleep, an impossibly sweet smile on the usually sardonic mouth. Before he could stop himself, he had leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss there. Bodie's tongue appeared briefly as he licked his lips. Amused, Doyle did it again, and wasn't surprised when Bodie's arm sneaked around him to pull him close. Blue eyes opened and the smile became a delighted grin. "Morning, sunshine. What did I do to deserve that?" Doyle smirked at him. "'S'what you're going to do to earn it." Bodie blinked at him, waiting for the catch. "First of all," Doyle decided, "you're going to get off my arm. It's going numb under your fat carcass..." Bodie moved, looking suitably chagrined. His expression changed again when Doyle dragged him into an embrace. "...then you're going to tell me what you meant last night." "What about?" Bodie was wary. "That subconscious message. I think I've worked out the first bit, when I was running away from you..." he proceeded with his interpretation of the dream elements. "It's the end I don't understand..." Bodie laughed out loud and Doyle found himself being tumbled so that he wound up in his partner's arms. He was petted and kissed and lapped up the attention like a pampered cat. He would not be diverted from his question, though. "Bodie...the last part..." Bodie was grinning manically. "Your mind, playing games...that's the easiest bit to explain, sweetheart." He hugged Doyle to him. "Haven't you ever heard of FALLING in love?" -- THE END -- *Don't analyse falling, Don't try being wise, falling Forget all your plans They're out of your hands You're falling... Blindly you go falling The last one to know you're falling You suddenly see there's no way to fight falling No rescue in sight falling You let love inside and hope he'll abide You're falling... * -John Farrar Archive Home