The Professionals Circuit Archive - Debts Repaid	 Debts Repaid

 

by Anne Carr

  
 Ray had been out of the hospital for just over six weeks.

It had been a rough six weeks.

Very rough. For Ray, and for Bodie, watching Ray.

The physiotherapy was slow and painful, and, in keeping with his nature
Doyle had thrown out the entire lot of pills barely a week out.

"I don't need drugs." His statement was not open to discussion, but Bodie
commented anyway.

"Yeah, well, you must be into pain mate..." he would have said more but
Doyle cut him off as he snapped back, "I can handle it... so just leave
off Bodie."

So Bodie had watched, every painful day and night as he slowly recovered
his health...up to a point.

It was obvious, Bodie thought, watching his partner as he trudged up the
front steps of the stately brownstone where Bodie's current flat was. The
doctors and Cowley were right, damn them, no human could possibly come
back from that...not enough to make it back on the squad anyway.

But Bodie still hoped.

It was hope that he held onto like a lifeline. A hope that he feared was a
dream, but he would cling to that hope right up to the very moment that he
was proven wrong...or right.

Yesterday he'd spoken to Cowley, it was a bitter memory. Their controller
had spoken to the doctors again, he was convinced, beyond doubt that the
battle was lost, and now he was anxious to tie up the loose ends, and that
meant invaliding Doyle out.

To Bodie that meant time to fight. And he'd won...the first battle anyhow.

He had one month. Thirty too-short days to get Doyle to a level of fitness
where he could enter the regular re-training program.

As things were he wasn't even close to being fit enough for that, and
thirty days, well, thirty days weren't likely to be enough. Short of a
miracle, which was exactly what Bodie was hoping to create, with a little
help, or rather a bit of little help.

The alternative for Doyle would be an assignment in the training program,
which, somehow, Bodie doubted that his stubborn partner would go for, more
likely he'd disappear, for good. With Doyle it had always been all or
nothing, if he couldn't make the team, he'd be gone. He'd leave.

Leave CI5.

Leave Bodie.

And that was the last thing Bodie wanted, that he could stand.

Tonight he'd picked Ray up, and instead of taking them back to Doyle's
flat he'd brought them round to his own, sorely neglected one. It wasn't
until they'd actually pulled up and stopped that Ray had even noticed
their change of destination.

"Bloody hell Bodie...what are we doing here?" Doyle moaned.

"Need to do some stuff here...figured we'd manage for a night."

"Yeah well all my stuff is..." Doyle didn't get a chance to finish as
Bodie reached into the back seat.... "No problem Sunshine, got an
overnighter for you." He didn't bother to mention the trunk full of
clothing and other necessities for the next month. He'd been round to
Doyle's flat earlier, and packed the lot, no he wasn't going to let his
partner's inherent stubbornness foul up his plans, not with so much at
stake.

He tuned back in as his partner climbed out of the car at after him.... "I
can take care of myself for a night you know...I'm not a complete
invalid."

Bodie ignored him and was halfway up the front stairs by the time Doyle
had figured out that it wasn't worth arguing with his partner tonight
anyhow, tomorrow however would be a whole new day.

Doyle sighed, angry, but too damn tired to fight.

Maybe it would be a good time to tell Bodie about his talk with Cowley the
other day, he had to know soon. He followed his partner...former partner
now, into the flat.

It was Bodie's night to cook, so Ray headed up to soak. A hot bath
wouldn't take away all his aches and pains, but it would help, some. It
wasn't until he got there that he realized that Bodie's current bath was a
shower stall. He groaned in frustration, but headed in for a hot shower at
least.

Dinner had been ready for ten minutes, now it would be either cold, or all
dried out if Doyle didn't get a move on.... Bodie left it to stay warm and
headed back to hurry Ray along.

"Ray...." Bodie called as he headed towards the bath.

"Come on Sunshine...s'gonna get cold."

No answer.

Well the shower was still running...maybe he didn't hear. But Bodie didn't
believe that, not when that part of him that was tuned in to his partner
was screaming at him, he pushed open the door, his stomach muscles
cramping with tension.

The shower was on. Stone cold, and Doyle was in it. Sitting, hunched on
the floor, knees drawn up, head down on his arms.

Bodie moved quickly, grabbing a large towel as he turned the taps off. He
crouched down by his partner.

"Ray," he whispered tentatively as he reached down to wrap the shivering
man in the towel. The smaller man let out a small sound that could have
been called a whimper as he tried to pull away, only to be engulfed by his
friend and the towel. His face still buried in his arms.

"Ray!" Bodie repeated, more urgently this time, as he held the trembling
body tightly, pulling him out of the shower and into the bedroom. He eased
the damp bundle onto the bed and wrapped the quilt around the slight form.

Minutes later, as the trembling eased somewhat he reached down, taking the
chin in his hand, he raised the face to meet his eyes.

"Ray," he breathed again softly, "what's all this about then?"

The eyes that met his were tearfilled windows of pure agony, that sent a
bolt of physical pain through Bodie's heart.

He shushed Ray's attempts at words and held him tighter still, as the
smaller man finally let go and cried into his friend's shoulder, releasing
some of the pain and frustration of the long, futile efforts to regain his
health and fitness. His efforts to regain his role as Bodie's partner.
Now, it was all over, forever. Cowley would assign someone else to guard
his love's back, to spend his days with. To share all those moments of
fear, and excitement, the bad along with the good.

And Bodie, Bodie must know by now, it had to be obvious that he couldn't
cut it anymore. But he still needed to tell him.

He took a deep breath and pulled away, regaining his composure only
through sheer strength of will.

"Bodie," he began, his voice almost steady, he took another breath.
"Bodie, you must know," he paused again, but only for a brief moment....
"I talked to Cowley...I'm not going to make it back."

Bodie stopped him.

"Wait...not tonight, I know what Cowley and the doctors have said, and I,
for one, have other ideas."

"Bodie!"

"No, listen Ray...do you trust me?"

"Of course...but--"

"No buts you trust me, right," Doyle nodded so he continued, "OK then,
just do one thing for me...."

"What?"

"Just say you will...yes?"

Green eyes met blue...found an answer and he nodded.

"OK, Bodie.... Yes to whatever."

"Good now go to sleep, you're exhausted."

"But what did I say yes to?"

"You'll find out tomorrow."

"Bodie!"

"OK--one month."

"One month?"

"Yeah, I want one month, Cowley said OK, and so did you, just now."

"What good?"

"Too late, partner, you gave your word, now are you up for some dinner
before you go to sleep, it's probably a bit dried out...."

Doyle awoke in a tangle of blankets and limbs, the latter belonging to his
still sleeping partner. He looked at the relaxed face only inches from his
own, thinking back to the time they had spent in that stone cabin. *Oh
Bodie, I was going to tell you, but now...now, I just can't, wouldn't be
fair would it? Not with me like this. Waited too long I did....*

He felt better this morning, physically anyhow, and very safe and secure
in the protection of his partner's arms, he savored it, knowing that all
too soon it would be a memory. That was the worst part, far overshadowing
anything else, he could live without CI5, or Cowley and all that lot, but
without Bodie, he wasn't sure if he could stand it. Life without Bodie
would be...well...lifeless, dull, dead, incomplete, the curse would
finally do him in after all, she had won.

A single tear found its way down his still pale cheek.

It would be easier to go, now, as soon as possible, rather than to prolong
the pain, but Bodie seemed determined to have his month. It would be damn
hard whenever, and if it was that important to Bodie, well he'd manage
somehow, and that part of him that didn't want to let go shouted in
triumph, and he hated himself for it too.

He knew that Bodie was awake when the arms encircling him tightened. They
had shared a bed since his release from the hospital, since neither had an
extra, and Cowley had assigned Bodie as his official nursemaid, it was a
totally chaste arrangement, and, though it had been hard at first, he'd
managed to accept the closeness, as it was offered, as a comfort for an
ailing friend, nothing more. He wondered if Bodie had had another man
since their first time in the woods.

"Morning Bodie," he murmured as he turned to face his partner...that word
again, partner. He amended that in his head...friend now.

"We've gotta talk...."

"Later Ray...just relax for a change."

"No..." he began to argue, but he paused as the blue eyes watching him
captured his own green ones, Bodie was grinning, a stupid soppy grin. But
then he'd been doing that an awful lot lately...must be going soft in the
head, playing nursemaid and all, but it was really getting up his nose,
that big dumb crud and his stupid grin...and all the time I'm slogging
away in pain....

"Here! What the bloody hell are you grinning about?"

"Oh...nothing...."

"You gone soft or something?"

"Nah, just happy."

Doyle just glared at him then, his life was in ruins, and that bastard was
happy.

Suddenly he needed to be alone, away from that dumb grin.

"Gotta pee you big octopus." He jerked himself free and nearly ran to the
bathroom.

Bodie stared after his partner, he'd not missed the annoyance on that too
easy (for him at least) to read face, and he felt bad, he knew things
would work out, but he realized that Doyle didn't, that as far as he knew
this was it. And the pain of that truth was clearly written for Bodie to
see. He almost went to him then, to tell him everything, but he didn't.
There was still a tiny part of him that didn't quite believe it. He'd wait
and hope that he could stand the pain in those eyes for another day or
two.

Ray was quiet when he returned from the bath, but Bodie decided not to
push it.

Breakfast over, and dishes cleaned up Bodie stretched and turned to Doyle.

"Well...you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"To go."

"Go?"

"Yeah...you remember...thirty days and all."

"Listen you big," Bodie didn't let him finish.

"Temper temper now Raymond...you still honor your word don't you?"

Doyle was fast becoming irritated.

"For chrissakes Bodie...what's the big mystery?"

"That's for me to know," he paused and grinned wickedly so Doyle finished
for him.... "Yeah...I know, and for me to find out," he finished gloomily.

"Got it right there mate."

"Yeah well I don't have to like it!"

"Oh...you will." The smirk on his face as he turned to open the car door
was more than Doyle could take...he almost decked him, instead he laughed.

"All right, you're a right nutter you know...should lock you up and throw
out the key they should...lead on."

They drove all day, stopping only for a pub lunch and fuel. By mid
afternoon Doyle was asleep in the passenger seat. He'd given up trying to
figure his partner's plans out, and asking him was, of course, no use at
all.

Bodie glanced over at the sleeping man, his face softening as he watched
the thin, paled-faced man.

"Soon mate," he whispered, "very soon."

He made one stop, at a small grocery near their destination. Ray slept
through it, but as they arrived at the stone cottage he woke. It took a
moment, but as Bodie watched recognition dawned. He turned to face Bodie.

"This place...." He didn't finish the sentence as his mind tried to put
the pieces together. 

"Just a place I use to get away sometimes...bit off the beaten track and
all."

No hint in that innocent sentence that there was anything more to it than
that...nothing to confirm that he remembered the other time they spent
there...together.

"Oh...."

"Yeah, actually I haven't been here for years...." His voice fading as he
got out of the car.

"Belongs to an old family friend." He headed in with an armload of
luggage.

Ray stared after him...coincidence? Or did he remember, well, he'd find
out soon enough....

Within the hour Bodie had the car unpacked and the supplies put in their
proper places. Ray was impressed by the apparent efficiency with which
Bodie had packed. He'd remembered virtually everything that they could
possibly need or want, he'd even dragged Ray's art supplies along.

He shook his head in wonder and turned to watch blue eyes facing him.
Bodie spoke first.

"All settled in...so what do you want to do first...dinner, a walk...."
Bodie's eyes twinkled with mischief, Doyle was really beginning to get
suspicious.

"No, I think I'll just have a look about, get the lay of the land and
all...." Bodie was still watching him, and Doyle was getting more than a
bit self-conscious under that intent gaze.

"Why do you want to do that sunshine..." and quieter yet, "don't you
remember your way around?"

That was direct enough. This time their eyes met and held. Bodie
delighting in Ray's surprise and confusion.

"You...." Accusation plain in the tone.

"Yes..." Bodie replied smoothly, innocently as he reached up to caress an
earlobe. "I remember...everything!"

Doyle stared at him a moment, then melted into his lover's arms, his sigh
of content ending in a question. "How?"

Bodie returned the embrace. "Had a visitor, the night you were shot."

"Luath!"

"That's the one."

"And?"

"And among other things he returned my memories of a certain time."

Doyle buried his face in Bodie's neck.... "M'sorry, meant to tell you, but
it never...."

"Shhhh...no, it's OK.... I understand, although I don't know how you
managed to keep it quiet.... I'd have gone over the top pretending that we
were just...never mind...I'm just glad to know now, and if you think I'm
going to forget again...."

Later after a suitably long cuddle, more questions arose.

"But why come back here?"

"Ah...now that's the good bit," he paused to make sure he had Ray's full
attention.

"Luath?"

"Yeah."

"But why?"

"He can do for you what our doctor's couldn't...at least I hope he
can...he said to bring you here."

"Bodie?"

"I'd have told you sooner mate, but I thought maybe the whole thing was a
dream, a cruel trick of my mind...that we'd get here and nothing, but then
you remembered this place and I knew it was true and I...." He stopped and
held his friend, lover...his life.

"Bodie," Ray's tentative start caught his attention. "Bodie, I hope he's
right, that he *can* make me better...because I don't know if I can
survive without you."

Bodie pulled back then and looked into those wide green eyes.

"That's OK Sunshine...because I *know* I can't live without you and no
matter *how* this comes out you and I are a team...*forever* if not at CI5
then somewhere else."

"But where, Bodie?"

"Doesn't matter...as long as we're together!"

This time when their eyes met both were damp, and smiling. As they pulled
into each others arms someone was heard to mutter.... "Long as we're
together."

It was a long time before they moved apart, then only to move over to the
bed that they'd shared so long ago.

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