The Professionals Circuit Archive - Overnight       Overnight

 

by Shay Sheridan 

 
 *(Written for the_safehouse livejournal community "quotes" challenge
(quote: "I do know that lives can change overnight, though it usually
takes much longer than that to comprehend what has happened, to sense that
we have changed direction." -- Jay McInerney))*


 Was it that last mission, the one where Breckenridge and Palmer died and
the two of you didn't? 

 Was it the night following that mission, when he went from singing filthy
rugby songs about the Mayor of Bayswater's daughter, to brooding, to
beating his fist bloody against the wall, until you had to bodily drag him
away? Or was it the quiet morning after that, after you'd tucked him up in
bed and collapsed drunkenly on his divan, when you woke to the smell of
coffee and him frying up breakfast for you?

 Was it the lazy way the corner of his mouth twitches up when you amuse
him, at times he must not show amusement? Or was it the twinkle in his eye
and the mock glare when you make him snort anyway and earn him a rebuke
from the Cow? 

 Perhaps it was the night he found you brooding and angry, and you shouted
at him and called him names, but he still wouldn't leave you even when you
collapsed in furious tears about Ann and the hollowness of your life. 

 Maybe it was the look on his face when you opened your eyes in hospital
and found him with tears streaming down his face that he didn't even
bother to wipe away.

 Was it the seven years of having him by your side? Was it the smell of
his sweat and his blood, of cordite mixed with a trace of aftershave? Was
it the knowing he'd always be there for you? Was it the times, far too
many to consider, when you thought you'd lost him for good? Was it that
fear, that cold fear clenching in your belly, the dread of loss?

 Could it have been the long, lascivious looks you've caught him giving
you, or his warm hand "accidentally" brushing your bum, or his arm briefly
flung across your shoulders in that matey way of his, or the sudden shock
of his blunt fingers in your hair, or the special laugh he saves for you
alone, or his fierce protectiveness, or his fierce honor, or his brutal
honesty, or the broken heart he hides beneath it all, the heart he shows
only to you, you, you.

 Why did it happen? When?

 Was it one of these things that made everything change for you, or all of
them, or none?

 Was it only yesterday he was your mate, and only today you realized you
loved him? 

 -- THE END --

 *August 2005*

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