The Professionals Circuit Archive - Ama me Fideliter	     Ama me
Fideliter

 

by Zoe & Nic 

 
 *Ama me fideliter! Fidem meam noto: De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota,
Sum presentialiter Absens in remota *
 - Love me faithfully!/ See how I am faithful:/ With all my heart/ And all
my soul/ I am with you/ Though I am far away. Anon.


 Cowley stormed out of his office. "BO-DAY!" He bellowed down the
corridor, his voice echoing around him. The agent in question sheepishly
appeared from the rest room.

 "My office. NOW!" Cowley ordered. "Not you, Doyle." He spoke to the curly
haired man who had poked his head round his partner, and now promptly
disappeared again, relieved that he wasn't in the firing line.

 "Close the door, 3.7." He fixed Bodie with a steely gaze, that would have
even the most hardened man quaking in his boots. "You deliberately
disobeyed my orders, 3.7. Your flagrant insubordination cost the
operation. Months of work ruined, because YOU," another glare "think you
are above following orders. A foul up. There is no other way to describe
your actions today. Damned fool! Can you think of one reason why I
shouldn't throw you out of the organisation right now?"

 Bodie, stood to attention like the soldier that he was, swallowed
nervously. He'd been in some scrapes before, had been hauled across the
carpet for them too, but even he could see how close he was sailing to the
wind right now. He enjoyed working for CI5, it was everything in his life
to him. He realised that Cowley's last sentence was his chance at
redemption, if he played it correctly.

 "No, sir." He replied meekly.

 Cowley watched the emotions flitting across his face, watched him
struggle to bite back any hot-headed reply that would have him out on his
ear, to keep control and reply appropriately, subordinately. If Bodie
hadn't been so good at his job, one of his very best, most dedicated and
loyal men, if he wasn't the other half of his number one team, and if, and
here was the nub, if Cowley wasn't so fond of him, he would have
terminated him immediately. If - such a small, but powerful word. He
sighed, relaxing slightly.

 "I am going to give you a chance to redeem yourself, 3.7. An opportunity
to wipe the slate clean. I have two tasks for you, and you must choose
which one to do. I must have your answer right here, right now. Is that
understood?"

 "Yes, sir."

 "Your choices are either a special solo minder job for tonight, or a
month in Records."

 Bodie blinked. An evening's work versus a month of clerical work? 'There
must be a catch.' "Sir?"

 "You heard me, Bodie. Which one is it to be?"

 "What are the details of tonight's job, sir?"

 "I will brief you if, and only if, you accept that mission."

 Bodie blinked again. There was a catch, he just didn't know what. Yet.
Still, a whole month off active duty, stuck in Records. He'd rather have
all his teeth pulled out without anaesthetic.

 "I'd like to accept tonight's mission, sir."

 Cowley smiled wolfishly. He'd set Bodie up, and he'd walked exactly the
path he wanted.

 "Very well, 3.7. My niece is in town, and she needs to go to a dinner
tonight." Bodie started to relax, stood "at ease", then came the catch.
"She needs someone to babysit her small boy. He's three, almost four. I'm
sure that even you can manage this job successfully. Oh, and I want a full
report of today's job in by first thing in the morning too. You can work
on it tonight."

 Bodie opened his mouth to protest, then caught the look on Cowley's face
and promptly closed it again. He wasn't forgiven yet. "Yes, sir."

 Cowley handed him a piece of paper. "Very well. Here's the address. Be
there at 19.00 sharp. Understood?" Bodie nodded. "And no foul ups.
Dismissed."

 Bodie left the office, and closed the door gently behind him. He leaned
his back against the wall, tipped his head back, and exhaled. Talk about
close.

 "Bodie?" The sound of his partner's soft voice caused him to look round.
"You okay? You're not...You know?"

 Bodie did know. He shook his head slightly. "It was a close squeak
though. And you'll never guess what my penance is." He quickly filled
Doyle in, who started to laugh until tears ran down his cheeks. "Glad you
find it so funny, Raymond. I don't. What do I know about looking after
little kids?"

 "You've only got yourself to blame. I'd count my blessings that you're
the favoured son, if I were you. Plus, seven o'clock should be about
bedtime for the kid. You'll probably have all evening quiet to watch TV or
something."

 Bodie brightened at this. Yeah, the kid would be fast asleep, and he
could get his report out of the way, and put his feet up. Seemed a fair
deal, but his sixth sense told him there could still be a catch. Cowley
wouldn't sucker him into this by the threat of a month in records for no
reason. The Old Man was far too wily.

 When he arrived as instructed that evening, he found out how right his
sixth sense was.

 Cowley's niece thanked him, left details of where she could be contacted,
ran through points she felt he might need to know, including the generous
supper she had left for him, and left.

 Little Charlie was out of bed as soon as she had gone.

 Bodie took him back to his bedroom, but Charlie refused to lie down. He
read him a story, but as he got up to leave, Charlie demanded another
story. Bodie put his foot down when a third story was asked for. He knew
when he was being taken for a fool, and left the room.

 He went back downstairs, and got the paperwork out to do the report.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash from upstairs.

 "What the...!" He muttered, as he ran back into Charlie's room. He
couldn't believe the mess that beheld his eyes. Charlie had got what
looked like every toy in his room out. There was hardly any floor space to
be seen. He quickly ascertained that the bang had been caused by Charlie
pulling his toy box over to get the toys out faster. Charlie was oblivious
to the fright he had just given his babysitter, and sat there, unharmed,
playing with his trains.

 "Come on, Charlie, let's tidy this lot up, before Mummy comes back," he
cajoled.

 They started off well, but after a couple of minutes, Charlie was bored
of tidying up, and Bodie was left to finish it off while he played.
Finally, the room was presentable, and Bodie put Charlie back into bed. A
further story was requested, and Bodie agreed to just one, after which he
left.

 Five minutes later, his concentration was broken by loud banging through
the ceiling. As if he was on a spring, he bounded back upstairs. Charlie
had managed to turn his light on, and was using his bed as a trampoline.

 "Come on, Charlie. Back into bed," Bodie pleaded. Charlie just regarded
him cheekily. He had this man's measure all right.

 The rest of the evening was marked out similarly. Every few minutes,
Charlie would find some new way of causing mischief, and Bodie would be up
the stairs to the boy's bedroom like a proverbial yoyo. The boy's
ingenuity took him by surprise, and he began to feel completely out of his
depth. He found that it was impossible to reason with a three year old,
that the words just wouldn't come. Worse still, the sodding kid always had
to have the last word.

 "Bloody marvellous!" He muttered under his breath as he removed Charlie
for the umpteenth time from some piece of furniture or other he had scaled
with the competence of a monkey. "I can take on the world's worst
terrorists and have them shaking, but a three year old is running rings
around me. Damn Cowley!"

 Finally, Charlie quietened down about 10.30. Bodie just slumped into a
chair, too exhausted to do anything, even to touch the supper that had
been laid out for him, and any hope of doing the report was well and truly
out of the window. Finally, Charlie's mother returned home to relieve
Bodie of his duty. He was dozing in the chair, where he had slumped
earlier. She left him undisturbed for a couple of minutes whilst she went
to check on Charlie. She noticed with some surprise that Charlie was
sleeping peacefully, like an angel, and that his room was immaculately
tidy. She remembered her Uncle George's warning about the babysitter he
was sending, and made a mental note to tell him what an excellent job he
had done. When she saw the supper untouched, she wondered if Uncle George
had the wrong man in mind when he had spoken to her. A very hearty
appetite, was how he had put it. Still, looking at dark hair, the cute
upturned nose, the incredibly long lashes, and the pouting lips, she had
to admit he was something of the lady-killer described. She shook him
gently to wake him up.

 "Hope Charlie's been no trouble for you, he can be a bit of a rascal at
times."

 "No, absolutely not. He's been an angel," Bodie lied glibly. He scooped
his things together, and left.

 Next morning, he took his report into Cowley as ordered, having stayed up
most of the night working on it. Cowley noticed the fatigue evident on
Bodie's face, but said nothing. A good lesson learned, he felt.

 As Bodie opened the door to leave, Cowley spoke. "My niece thanks you, by
the way. She was most glowing in her praise for the job you did. She said
anytime you fancy babysitting, to let her know."

 Bodie's face was unreadable, but as he left the office mumbled to
himself. "Not bloody likely!" Cowley heard and chuckled to himself.

 Doyle was waiting for Bodie as he left Cowley's office, and seeing the
strain and exhaustion on his partner's face, he ushered him into the rest
room and made him a drink. Bodie filled him in on the gory details of how
a three year old had made an idiot out of one of the country's top
criminal agents, and Doyle laughed so hard, he felt his tight jeans were
sure to split. He wiped the tears from his face.

 "It's not bloody funny, Doyle. The kid's a monster! Actually, he reminds
me a bit of me as a nipper. Thank God I've not got kids. Not likely to
after last night, either. Think I'll turn celibate. Or gay."

 Doyle cackled with renewed laughter at that thought.

 "I'll tell you one thing, though. Next time the Old Man pulls a stunt
like that, I'll take the month in Records every time!"

 ******

Several weeks after the near debacle of Bodie's, they were both at Ray's
flat. Soft background music was playing, and they were slumped on the
settee, full of good food and better alcohol.

 Deep in thought, Ray cast Bodie a searching glance.

 "Bodie?"

 "Hmmm?"

 "You know when you did that babysitting?"

 "Yeah, don't bloody remind me." Bodie hid his face in his hands and
shuddered visibly.

 "Well, no, I wasn't gonna say anything about that - but, do you...er...do
you remember what you said after it?"

 Bodie raised his head and frowned at his friend. "Huh? What? I said many
things after it, Ray. What're you going on about now?"

 Taking a deep fortifying breath, Ray continued. "You said you'd turn
celibate. Or gay. Well, didn't you?"

 A gleam appeared in Bodie's blue eyes as he remembered and he nodded. "So
I did. What about it?"

 "D'you fancy giving it a try?" Ray held his breath and waiting. He was
just drunk enough to ask the question he'd been wondering about ever since
that particular day.

 Bodie winked at him. "Celibacy? Naa, doesn't appeal, really."

 Groaning, Ray elbowed him. "You nutter. Not celibacy, the other part."

 Bodie was feeling sleepy and didn't react at first. Not until a second
elbow was shoved hard into his side. "Hey, 'm gonna have a bruise there if
you're not careful, mate."

 "Just answer the question, then."

 Rolling his eyes, Bodie turned heavy-lidded midnight blue eyes on his
partner. As he did so, Ray opened his own big green eyes as wide as he
could. He knew they appealed to women - or so he had been told - and he
was hoping it would have the same effect on his partner.

 The two men stared at one another for several minutes, not speaking, not
moving. Finally, Bodie broke the spell.

 "You have beautiful eyes, sunshine." Aghast, he closed his mouth rapidly.
"Um, I mean...what was the question again, Ray? I can't remember what you
said - must have had too much alcohol, but then again, can you ever have
too mu-."

 A single finger was laid against his lips, and a soft smile lit Ray's
handsome features. "You're babbling, Bodie. I think you already answered
my question."

 Leaning forward, his intention was to lay a soft kiss on those wonderful
pouting lips. However, the moment they met, two strong arms swept around
his body and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

 Pulling apart only for oxygen, Bodie moved until he was laid flat on the
settee, Ray settled on top of him. Curling one of Ray's curls round his
finger and enjoying the feel of his partner on top of him, Bodie gazed
tenderly at Ray.

 "So, sweetheart, not that I'm complaining, mind, but what gave you this
idea, then?"

 Busy nuzzling Bodie's neck, Ray gave it one last lick before answering.

 "You did." He raised his head, looking slightly anxious. "You...you
aren't having second thoughts are you?"

 Thrusting his hips forward brought Bodie's considerable arousal into
contact with Ray's substantial erection, and Ray whimpered.

 Pulling Ray's head back down, Bodie whispered into his ear.

 "Does that feel like second thoughts?"

 Shoving a hand down to press carefully but firmly against it brought a
gasp of delight from the dark haired man. Enchanted, Ray responded.

 "Oh no, sunshine. That feels like paradise."

 ******

Sunlight streaking in through curtains hastily closed the night before
shone on Ray Doyle's face, and the warmth of them embracing his face
teased him, penetrating his sleep.

 He floated gently in the nether world between sleep and wakefulness. His
head throbbed, he was aware of that much. He must have drunk a
considerable amount of alcohol last night. He could barely remember
anything about it. All he could recall was Bodie coming round for a meal.
He couldn't even recollect Bodie leaving. A slight snuffling sound pulled
him nearer to the surface of consciousness. He was pretty certain he
hadn't made the sound. But who else could it be?

 Suddenly, like icy cold fingers plucking at him, a memory pieced the
pleasant haziness. He could hear his voice last night probing Bodie.
'"D'you fancy giving it a try?"' then '"You nutter. Not celibacy, the
other part."' He rose a bit nearer to awareness, like a drowning man
desperately trying to reach air. Another memory, of Bodie reciprocating
his advances, their passion spilling over into a physical union of lust.
With a final effort, he broke through the surface with a gasp. His eyes
flew open and he flushed at the crowding memories. He stealthily stretched
one leg out, touched warm flesh with his foot. He was definitely not
alone. That meant that the noise he had heard must be Bodie. In his
bedroom, in his bed.

 As the reality sunk in, he began to panic. What had he, had they done?
More importantly, what were they going to do about it? What was Bodie
going to make of it all? How would he react when he remembered, when he
realised that he, Ray Doyle, had invoked this upon them? Misery began to
flood through him, swirling together with the panic.

 "Lie still!" Bodie's drowsy voice shocked him out of his reverie.

 "What?"

 "I said, lie still. It's like lying next to a bag of worms. Particularly
active worms at that. You're rocking the bed, and my stomach is feeling
queasy enough as it is."

 Silence resumed, then Bodie's breathing became more rhythmic again. Ray
said a few silent words of thanks. Bodie obviously hadn't remembered yet.
He allowed his eyes to close again, they felt very heavy.

 "RAY! LIE STILL!" Bodie hissed. "What's bothering you, anyway?"

 Doyle kept his eyes shut. "Nothing," he lied.

 "Liar!" Bodie's voice taunted him. "I'm starving. What are you going to
make me for breakfast? I want none of that health food, either. Muesli -
ugh! Like rabbit mix. A nice fry up, that's what I need." He stretched
languorously. "God, my arse is sore - feels like it's had a ruddy great
cock up it!"

 Doyle's eyes flew open with shock and fear, straight to Bodie's face.
Bodie was looking at him, those midnight blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

 "You...you remember then? About last night... what we did?"

 "Of course I remember, you berk! What do you take me for? A nancy who
can't take his drink? Is that what you've been fretting about? You great
twit! You're not having second thoughts, are you?" Bodie's words gently
mocked him, echoing what he himself had said last night before they had
made very needy, very physical love. Relief flooded through him. He ran
his hand across his rapidly growing erection, which was in the process of
making tents out of the covers, and reaching for Bodie's hand, placed it
on his now straining cock.

 "Does that feel like second thoughts?" he teased. Bodie shook his head, a
big smirk across his face.

 "I'm very weak with hunger. Make my breakfast, and then we'll try it all
again. Properly, without the Dutch courage this time! I have a feast of
love lined up for you."

 "Promises, promises! I'll hold you to that!" Ray grinned, as he exited
the bed.

 ******

Breakfast finished, Ray was delicately sipping at his rapidly cooling tea.
Darting the occasional look to where Bodie - his lover - was sitting, he
was unsure how to proceed next. Yes, so Bodie had asked to be fed and then
they would - well, continue what they'd started last night, so Ray
presumed - but Bodie had said nothing else since sitting down at the
kitchen table.

 As Ray glanced over once more, he was stunned to see the blue eyes
smouldering at him, desire and lust shining out for all to see. Before he
could move, Bodie was out of his chair and reaching for his hand.

 "C'mon Ray, let me love you." 

 Ray let himself be pulled up off the chair and into a warm embrace,
shivering as Bodie placed hot, open-mouthed kisses onto his shoulder and
neck. Still silent, Ray felt his hand being held, Bodie's strong fingers
entwining with his, as they walked back into the bedroom.

 Surprised, Ray looked once again at his partner. "Wha...when did you make
the bed up?"

 Bodie winked at him. "When you were in the kitchen, and you thought I was
in the shower."

 Ray leant closer and sniffed. "Well, you smell clean enough."

 "Oh thank you so much, Rover. Would you like to cock your leg up and mark
your territory too?" Bodie laughed.

 "Absolutely!" With that, Ray took the initiative, shoved Bodie onto the
clean sheets, and started mapping out Bodie's body with his hands and
mouth. Taking his time, he noticed the soft creamy skin and even though
Ray often teased his partner about his eating habits, he wasn't surprised
to see a toned stomach.

 Soft brown nipples stood out on his almost hair free chest, and Ray
reached out and softly brushed his fingers across them. As Bodie whimpered
with delight, Ray lowered his head and let his tongue ravish and nibble
them into hard points. 

 "Ray! Stop, lover. Please." The pleading voice held a warning, and Ray
removed his lips straight away.

 "Too close?"

 Bodie could only nod, his fists bunched into the sheets, obviously trying
to stop himself coming too soon. As Ray watched, he gently stroked the
soft, downy thighs, careful not to veer close to Bodie's erection, now
weeping copiously. As Bodie exhaled, Ray applied himself back to his task,
this time focussing on the profusion of dark curls that was somewhat in
contrast to the rest of his torso.

 Nuzzling the curls, Ray inhaled the musky smell, his senses reeling with
the scent and sound of his lover. Swiping the head of his cock with a
finger, Ray tasted the droplet of precome, and then in one smooth
movement, engulfed him with his eager mouth.

 Bodie's moans increased, his hands caressing Ray's curls not holding him
down. When Ray's fuckable mouth captured his cock in one hot swoop, Bodie
thought he was going to hit the ceiling with pleasure.

 Ray, however, had something different in mind. Removing his mouth, he
grinned at Bodie's dismayed expression.

 "Shut up, and lay still." he commanded, reaching for the ky-jelly.

 Anointing Bodie's cock with the jelly, he smeared his own fingers with
the stuff, then he slowly inserted first one then two fingers into his own
body, stretching himself.

 Bodie could hardly believe his eyes - his own sensually seductive golly
was actually fingering himself in readiness. Moaning, his head thunked
back onto the pillows, his hand clutching at the base of his cock to
prevent his orgasm, such was Ray's little floorshow.

 "Bodie, you okay?" Ray asked, concerned.

 "Fuck, yes. You little devil, you almost made me come - again!"

 "Really?" A wicked grin appeared on the handsome face. "I can always
continue..." 

 A loud groan of protest echoed around the room and Bodie snagged his
hand. "No, Ray. Please...I...I think I'm ready. Fuck me, Ray."

 Ray grinned - oh Bodie was gonna get fucked, just not in the way he
thought. He straddled the supine body, hands caressing the flushed chest,
teasing the nipples once again. Provocatively, he rubbed against Bodie's
erection, loving the feel of it between his cheeks. Then, swiftly, before
Bodie could even think, he raised his body and lowered himself in one slow
movement down onto his lover.

 "Oohh fuck, Ray... Ray... Jesus, I'm gonna..."

 "No! No, Bodie, you are *not* going to come yet. D'you hear me?"

 Bodie gritted his teeth and clenched all his muscles, fighting his orgasm
once again. "Okay, Ray. But, God, please?" he pleaded.

 Ray gave him one last tantalising look then moved, slowly at first but
building up into a strong rhythm, feeling Bodie's thighs meeting him in an
upward force, their bodies perfectly in tune with one another.

 It couldn't last, and, with one final thrust - one final descent, Bodie
let out a howl, tensed his body, and sent his hot liquid spurting into the
hot, tight channel, gasping his lover's name constantly throughout his
orgasm.

 Ray wasn't far off, and the moment Bodie touched his own distended organ,
Ray came - his own creamy seed shooting out over Bodie's abdomen - and he
collapsed down onto the sticky body, whispering passionate, ardent words
of love.

 Lying atop Bodie, head tucked into his neck, Ray came back down to earth.
He felt Bodie remove himself gently from his body with reluctance and
couldn't stop his own soft semi-protest. As Ray rolled off him, they both
winced as their sticky bodies separated with a little pain.

 The two cuddled up together. Bodie had his arms around the slender figure
and Ray pillowed his head on Bodie's broad shoulder.

 "Fuck, love that was wonderful." Bodie whispered eventually, when his
breath returned to normal.

 "A feast of love you wanted, a bloody harvest you got! Are you...was that
okay for you?" Still uncertain, Ray needed - wanted - the confirmation.

 Opening his eyes, Bodie grinned down at his sybaritic lover.

 "Okay? No, it wasn't okay." Before Ray could yank his defensive shields
down into place, Bodie continued, arms tightening around the stiffening
body. "It was bloody fantastic, mate. Almost as good as last night!"

 Ray relaxed and poked a finger into Bodie's side. "Hah, very funny." 

 "'s not funny, 's true. However, we'll have fun learning, won't we? Next
time..."

 "Next time? There's going to be a next time?"

 Bodie kissed him before continuing. "Yeah, definitely. Lots of next times
- in fact..." he paused to make sure Ray was looking at him, "how does
forever sound?"

 "Wonderful." Ray beamed happily. "Just wonderful."

 ******

Ray leaned against the bench in the garage at his flat and watched his
partner working, the sleek dark head bent in concentration. They had two
days off and Ray had indicated that he wanted to spend at least some of
that time working on his motorbike.

 It had been somewhat neglected since he and Bodie had taken that
monumental step together, about three months ago, changing their
partnership forever. Since that night when he had drunkenly propositioned
Bodie, and the next morning when they had soberly confirmed their passion
for each other, they had hardly been apart.

 It was true that they worked hard, but now they also played hard, harder
than he could ever recall.

 As soon as George Cowley released them from the shackles of their working
day, they could barely wait to get to whichever flat was closest or most
convenient, as they still lived separately for appearances sakes, and make
frantic love, burning off the tensions of the day, or take their time
slaking their thirst, hunger and lust for the sight, smell, taste and
touch of each other, exploring new sensations and building up slowly to a
glorious climax together.

 Bodie had promised him a forever full of next times, and his reply to
that echoed in his head.

 'Wonderful. Just wonderful.'

 It had been, at first. Bodie still seemed content to spend all his free
time indulging in the physical side of their liaison, but recently the
guilt of neglecting other pursuits had started to weigh heavily on Ray's
mind.

 He was finding that he now yearned for more from Bodie than just sex,
such as the opportunity to flourish and grow as people within the
relationship. Part of that growth included time away from the bedroom to
indulge in other pastimes, like working on his latest project.

 He had been surprised at Bodie's acquiescence to spend some of his
precious time off working on the bike, because although he was perfectly
capable of tinkering with things mechanical, he tended not to have the
inclination on that score. Without realising it, he let out a sigh.

 Bodie lifted his head and regarded his partner questioningly. Ray had
thought the sight of Bodie in overalls attractive, but with the big smudge
of oil on one cheek, it was almost more than he could bear. A tidal wave
of desire and tenderness flooded over him. He sighed again.

 "Ray?" Bodie was staring at him, concern written across his face.

 "Hmm?"

 "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" he asked, gesturing to
the parts he was working on.

 "No, no, of course not. Nothing's wrong."

 "So why do you keep sighing?"

 "Do I? Nothing's wrong."

 "Yeah, right, and I'm a monkey's uncle! What's going through that curly
noggin of yours?"

 Ray sighed again. "Oh, I dunno. Are you happy? You know, with how things
are between us?" Bodie nodded, but looked clearly puzzled by the turn in
conversation. "Do you ever wonder if there is more to it than this, or if
this is all there is?"

 "What are you talking about, Ray?" Bodie's tone had a hard edge to it.

 "Oh, I don't know. I just feel like we're not going anywhere. All we seem
to do these days is work or fuck each other."

 Bodie's reply was distinctly cold. "Let me get this straight. You're
saying that you're not happy with what we've got, that it's not enough for
you? Do you want something else, something more? Are you saying that what
I am giving you doesn't satisfy you? Tell me, Raymond, what more could I
possibly give you that I don't now that would make you happier?"

 It was like someone had dropped an ice cube down Ray's back, and aghast
at the condemnation, he looked at Bodie's face, searching for a glimmer of
reconciliation. Bodie's blue eyes seemed almost grey and burned through
him with controlled rage.

 Ray swallowed. To alienate Bodie, feel shut out from him, was not what he
had intended. Things were rapidly turning into a nightmare, and he wished
he could wake up. "That's not what I meant," he whispered.

 "No? Then what did you mean?" There was no let up from Bodie.

 "I just meant it would be nice to do other things together. You know,
romance. Love. Anything other than screw."

 Bodie looked momentarily taken aback by this accusation, then recovered
himself. "Just because someone doesn't love you the way the way you want
them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have, Ray." He
spoke quietly, then turned around and walked away, shrugging off all Ray's
attempts to detain him. Ray could have kicked himself. It had come out all
wrong, and now he had hurt Bodie. He had heard and seen that quite
clearly.

 Bodie pushed the door shut with his foot, and slammed his keys down onto
his kitchen worktop. He reached for a glass and poured himself a large
Scotch. Flopping into his armchair, he thought about the altercation he'd
just had with Ray.

 'Damn him!' He might have known that the stupid golly would not make
things straightforward. Sighing, he finished his drink, and went to pour
another. He switched the radio on as he went past, in the vain hope that
it might take his mind off things. The DJ announced that the next song was
"I Walk The Line" by Johnny Cash. He was about to find a different
station, when the lyrics struck home. The song could almost have been
written for him and his relationship with Ray. 

 "As sure as night is dark and day is light
 I keep you on my mind both day and night
 The happiness I've known proves that it's right
 Because you're mine, I walk the line."

 He poured the drink he had gone for, and sat back down, reflecting again
on the day's events. The song had put a different slant on his mood, on
his thinking. Yes, Ray should have known that he would not easily bare his
soul, could not change the habit of a lifetime and leave himself
vulnerable simply because they were now lovers as well as partners and
friends, but he should have remembered Ray's hopeless romantic streak. The
question facing him now was how to put things right?

 He decided to go to bed. Perhaps after a good night's sleep, things would
look better in the morning. A good night's sleep, hah! He knew he was
deluding himself on that score. But maybe the answer would still come to
him. As he tossed and turned, the words of the song repeated themselves.

 "You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that
I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're
mine, I walk the line."

 Eventually he figured out what he had to do, and fell asleep planning how
to win Ray back.

 Two miserable days after the argument, his leave finished, Ray was back
at CI5, in the briefing room. He hadn't seen Bodie since he had walked
out, hadn't heard from him. Not that he had expected to. Bodie's words had
struck home after he had gone.

 He knew what Bodie was like; he kept his emotions very much in check,
never allowing his heart to totally rule his head. So why did he suddenly
expect him to change personality? The truth was he didn't.

 Bodie had been right, just because he didn't love him in the way he
wanted, didn't mean he didn't love him. He was just different, had
different ways of doing things. So he didn't gush insincere words of love
or open up and let people under defences he had spent a lifetime
constructing at every opportunity, but with him, actions very clearly
spoke louder than words.

 One thing he was certain of was that Bodie had allowed him closer and
trusted him more than anyone else. Furthermore, the fact that Bodie had
been willing to spend his time off doing something that was more important
to Ray said it all.

 How did the saying go? Don't waste your time on a man who isn't willing
to waste their time on you. Bodie had shown he was more than willing to do
just that. All he needed to do was communicate what he wanted, and it was
done.

 He was stupid not to have seen it before. He had been racking his brains
ever since how to put things right. The trouble was, he couldn't think of
anything that would. He hoped to catch up with Bodie after the briefing,
to try salvage something from the sorry situation. But when he looked
around, he couldn't see him anywhere.

 "Jax, have you seen Bodie?"

 "Yeah, he was in very first thing, went to see the Cow."

 Ray's stomach felt like it had just dropped at great speed into his
trainers. He went searching for Cowley. "Excuse me, sir, where's Bodie?"

 "He said he had some personal issues to sort out which had cropped up
during his two days off. I've granted him a few extra days to deal with
whatever it is, although I must say I'm not too pleased about it, but it's
better this way than losing his edge on duty and someone getting injured
or killed as a result. I must say, I'm surprised at you not knowing, as
his partner."

 Doyle blinked at the sting in the words. Had he imagined it, or had
Cowley put extra emphasis on his final phrase?

 'Damn!' Things were worse than he had thought. How was he ever going to
put things right if the dumb crud wasn't even here? He tried ringing
Bodie, but there was no reply.

 A couple of hours later, he was just on his way to the rest room to get a
drink, when Jax informed him there was a delivery left with Fred for him.
Puzzled, he went down to the main desk.

 Fred handed him a large bouquet of red roses with a knowing wink. Ray was
even more puzzled, and searched for a card.

 He found it sealed in an envelope and tucked inside the bouquet. He took
the flowers up to his desk, getting a few admiring and amused glances from
his colleagues on the way, and sat down. He opened the card, and read the
message.

 'Forgive me? Forever yours. Love, B.'

 His heart sang with joy brought by those few, but heartfelt words. He
tried ringing Bodie to tell him there was nothing to forgive, but there
was no reply. By late afternoon, he still hadn't managed to get hold of
Bodie, and decided to call by his flat on the way home. His phone ringing
interrupted his thoughts. Another delivery, a box this time, was waiting
for him with Fred.

 "Who brought this?" He asked. Fred just shrugged by way of reply. "Have
you checked it over?"

 "Yes, and it seems clean. There's an envelope with it too. You are
popular with someone today." A deaf and blind man could have detected the
hint of amusement in Fred's words. Ray muttered his thanks, and took the
parcel and accompanying envelope up to his office.

 Impatient to read the message, he ripped the envelope open.

 Ray absorbed the words written in Bodie's strong and distinctive
handwriting.

 'I hope you took the necessary care opening this, it could have been
booby trapped.'

 'Ha ha, Bodie, very funny. Even when you're not here, you're looking out
for me. You know me too well.'

 He continued to read.

 'Dinner tonight, Oliver's, 20:00 precisely. Wear this.' Ray raised his
eyebrows and whistled. Oliver's was one of the most exclusive and
expensive restaurants in town. Idly, he wondered how Bodie had managed to
get a table at such short notice. 'If you're not there, I'll know how
things lie. Forever yours. Love, Bodie.'

 Carefully, he opened the box. Inside he discovered a smart suit in black,
with a rich sage green silk shirt and matching tie in a forest green, and
a pair of very smart black brogues. Ray knew they were expensive, just as
he knew that they would fit him, and they would suit and flatter him.
Bodie did have good taste in clothes, most of the time.

 He left work rather later than he had anticipated, and went home to get
ready. He was determined to be there early - no way was he going to allow
Bodie to think he was now having second thoughts.

 He shaved and showered, spending as much time under the spray as he felt
he could afford, feeling the tensions of the past few days washing away,
to be replaced by excitement and anticipation. Bodie, his Bodie, was
taking him on a date, and he was determined to make sure that by the end
of the evening, Bodie knew how important he was to him, that it would
never be in doubt again.

 He dried himself and dressed, savouring the feel of the new clothes
against his skin. He realised that Bodie hadn't included underwear, and
decided to take this as a hint, and went without, as he had so often done
before. If things ever went that far, he knew it would give Bodie a
thrill.

 He poured some aftershave into his cupped palms and slapped it on his
jaw, picked up his watch and jacket and went downstairs just as the taxi
he had ordered drew up outside. He indicated to the driver that he would
be right there, and put on his shoes. They were of the softest leather,
and felt extremely comfortable.

 He departed the flat, setting the locks as he went to avoid a lecture
later, and got into the taxi. Butterflies started fluttering in his
stomach as they drew near to Oliver's.

 He paid the driver and stepped out. Entering the restaurant, he was
greeted by the Maitre d', and announced that he was here to meet a friend,
Mr Bodie.

 "Certainly, sir. This way please." The Maitre d' directed him to a
secluded part of the restaurant and suddenly he was confronted with
Bodie's back. He cleared his throat, and Bodie spun around, lines of worry
etched on his face. Ray noticed that his suit was a navy blue with a
subtle pin stripe, and his shirt was a cornflower blue silk, with a Navy
tie. He looked absolutely devastating.

 "Ray! Glad you could make it!" The warmth in Bodie's greeting belied how
nervous he had been that Ray wasn't going to show, that his attempts to
put things right would come to nought.

 He looked him up and down, and decided that the new clothes had
definitely been the right choice. "Like the new clothes," he said. "They
make you look divine, very distinguished and debonair." The corners of his
eyes crinkled affectionately, and the blue seemed cobalt. "Can I get you a
drink?"

 "Umm...yes, thank you. Can I have a pint of lager please?"

 When they had their drinks, the Maitre d' led them to their table. They
placed their order, and made stilted attempts at small talk whilst they
waited for their food.

 "I'm sorry." They both started together. After a little wrangling over
who was going to go first, and much laughter, the ice was broken, and they
relaxed in each other's company.

 "I'm sorry, Ray," Bodie said. "I behaved like a prat. I should never have
walked out on you like that. I owed it to you to at least stay and work it
out. The truth is what you said really hurt." Ray was astounded to note
that Bodie was actually opening up to him. "I was, am, really happy with
what we've got. I had no idea that you might not feel the same way. I
can't help it if I want to take you to bed all the time, you are just so
sexy, I can't resist you. Forgive me, please?"

 "There's nothing to forgive." Ray waved his hand in the air, as if to
brush it aside. "It's not that I don't feel the same, because I do. I like
sleeping with you, just sometimes I'd like to have the time to do other
things, either together or on my own."

 "But the last couple of days have been really difficult without you, and
given me chance to see things more clearly. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't
have expected you to be someone you're not. I realised after you'd gone
that what I'd said wasn't entirely fair."

 "You'd given your time to help me with my bike, and I hadn't recognised
or appreciated that. I also thought about what you'd said as you left, and
found that you were right. I love you for who you are, not who I'd like
you to be. That's a bird's trick!" He joked.

 "By the way, I'm glad you find me irresistible!" He leaned closer over
the table, conspiratorially. "I've got no underwear on!" He whispered
teasingly.

 Bodie's eyes turned blue-black as the words stoked his imagination.
"Jeez, Ray, you are one sexy little devil," he admonished jokingly, "and
such a cock tease too!"

 The waiter arrived, bringing their meals and effectively halting their
conversation.

 Bodie couldn't stop thinking about Ray's words, and could barely wait for
the meal to be over. His partner noticed his mind didn't seem to be on his
food for once, and suppressed a barely hidden smirk.

 Bodie summoned the waiter for the bill, and as they waited he sighed. "I
do love you, Raymond. More than I'll probably ever be able to say. But I'm
going to try, for our sakes, to tell you and to show you as often as I can
and I'm going to try to let you in here a bit more, but I can't make
promises - it will take much time and patience on both our parts." He
tapped his head, and Ray understood exactly what he was saying.

 "You've got it, whatever it takes, love. In return, I promise to open my
eyes a bit and appreciate the ways in which you give yourself to me, and
to let you know if there's something I want to spend time on and you can
decide if you want to do it with me, or do something on your own. Sound
fair?"

 "Sounds great, and I think when we get out of here, I'd like to seal it
with a kiss. Now that we've thrashed everything out, and I've wined and
dined you, can we go home, so I can fuck your brains out? Or is that still
off limits?" he asked, his eyes almost completely black now and twinkling.

 "Oh, I think you've earned the right. Just this once, mind!"

 Bodie threw enough money on the table to cover the bill plus a generous
tip, and grabbing Ray by the wrist, dragged him out into the street.

 They started to walk back to Bodie's flat, and were passing some
industrial land when Ray suddenly veered off and disappeared out of view
into the dark.

 "Ray? RAY!" Bodie called. "Where the hell are you?" He muttered as he
followed.

 Suddenly, he was grabbed and pulled into the shadows. Before he could
fight back, a mouth found his, which he recognised instantly. He relaxed,
and returned the kiss, matching passion with passion. Ray's tongue pushed
past his parted lips, and sought hungrily to explore every nook, causing
him to groan softly.

 The ferocity of his lover's desire caused jolts of electricity to run up
and down his spine and he shuddered involuntarily. He could feel Ray's
erection pressing hard into his hip, thrusting impatiently against him,
and he started to soar from the knowledge that Ray wanted him, here, now.

 Ray released his mouth, and began nibbling at his earlobes and neck,
licking the whorls of his ear and gently blew across the opening. Bodie
shuddered again, and gave a soft moan of delight.

 "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" He whispered hoarsely.
"Ray, I want you so much. Let's go home."

 "Nah!" Ray breathed in his ear, causing another shudder. "I want you to
take me right here, right now," he said urgently. He unbuckled the belt on
his trousers, and undid the buttons and zip and allowed them to drop round
his ankles.

 Bodie reached a hand down, and lightly touched Ray's erect member, who
whimpered with the delicate sensation. He unbuttoned his trousers, and
slid them together with his briefs down to below his knees, feeling the
thrill of the cool evening's air breezing against his exposed skin.

 "Fuck, but you're a wanton Golly, aren't you?" He whispered tenderly.

 "Turn around then!" He gently spun Ray around.

 Ray leaned with his hands against the wall, bracing himself. Bodie ran
his hands over his lover's bared arse, feeling the cheeks of his buttocks,
kneading them with his fingers. He slid his hand into the cleft, feeling
the moistness there, and gently rimmed the small nub of clenched muscle
with one fingertip. Ray gasped, and pushed back against him.

 "Easy, tiger!" He soothed. "Got to take our time, make it nice for you."
He offered the fingers on his other hand to Ray, who readily slipped them
into his mouth and sucking on them, moistened them.

 Bodie withdrew them, and gently slipped them between his cheeks again,
and carefully inserted one into Ray's passage. He worked it around
slightly, slowly stretching Ray, then entered a second finger. Ray thrust
himself against Bodie's hand, impaling himself further on the two fingers.

 "Eager beaver!" Bodie teased, as he slipped a third finger in.

 "If you'd hurry up, I wouldn't need to be!" Ray moaned. "I'm ready,
Bodie. Take me! Fuck me NOW!"

 Bodie needed no further encouragement. He spat copiously into his hand,
and anointed his rock hard cock, mixing saliva with the pre-come weeping
from his slit. He guided his organ to behind the hand still inserted
inside Ray, and removing his fingers, pushed the snub tip in their place.
Ray gasped softly, and Bodie waited, fighting his need to thrust inside
that warm hole.

 After a couple of seconds, Ray moved back against him, working him. Bodie
began to drive into Ray, until his penis was completely engulfed, his ball
sac slapping against Ray's skin, and then withdrew his shaft until just
the head remained inside, over and over.

 He reached his arms around Ray, placing one on Ray's abdomen to pull
their bodies gently together, and the other grasped his cock firmly with
his fist. He pumped Ray's organ in time with his thrusts, and felt it grow
harder and thicker.

 He knew that their orgasms were nearing, and he speeded up his motions.
He kissed and nibbled Ray's neck and shoulder, his bites firming as his
release surged through him. He thrust fiercely against Ray again and again
as his semen started spurting from his body into his lover's.

 "Christ, Ray! I love you so much, so bloody much!" He groaned, his voice
and breath ragged.

 With one final thrust, his climax shuddered and subsided, as Ray erupted
over his hand and the floor. Ray mumbled frantic words of endearment as
his orgasm was wrenched from him. Bodie gently removed himself, and softly
kissed his lover on the neck, cheek and hair.

 "As knee-tremblers go, that was earth shattering! Better straighten
ourselves up, make ourselves decent!" Bodie chuckled. Ray was still
panting slightly. "You okay, sunshine?" He asked softly.

 "Uh-huh!" came the muffled reply. "I'm fine, just worn out!"

 "Come on, I'll shout us a taxi home. Are you staying at mine tonight?"

 "Yeah, if you'll have me."

 "Just have, haven't I?" Bodie teased. "Of course I'll have you. Got a
treat lined up for you."

 "What?" came the suspicious reply.

 "That's my Angelfish. Once a copper..."

 "...Always a copper!" Ray joined in.

 "You'll have to wait and see. Come on, look sharp, I can hear a drink
calling me!"

 Bodie set off jogging to the road. He managed eventually to flag a cab,
and in no time at all, they had reached their destination. Ray was feeling
very sleepy after their exertions and the ride home, and allowed Bodie to
take him by the elbow and assist him into the flat. Bodie led Ray to the
bedroom, and gently pushed him onto the bed. He returned to the living
room, set the locks and poured them both a nightcap of Scotch before
rejoining Ray.

 "Here, let me help you get into bed."

 "I know exactly what happens when you undress me, Bodie, and I couldn't
right now if my life depended on it. Sorry."

 "That's okay, sunshine. I can't either right now. Besides, I'd just
rather snuggle up to you, missed you the last couple of days, so a
cuddle'd go down great." Once he had settled them both into bed, he got
both glasses, and raising his, said. "Cheers!"

 Ray finished off his drink, and nestling his head against Bodie's chest,
drifted off into a very welcome and peaceful sleep, soothed by the sound
of Bodie's heartbeat.

 He awoke to feel the early morning sunshine pouring in through the open
curtains, warming everything the rays touched, stretched and basked in the
glow, feeling happy and content.

 He turned to look at Bodie, but found his side of the bed empty. There
was a note on the pillow.

 "Gone to get some provisions for breakfast, won't be long. Told Cowley
you'll be late in. Left a little something for you on the bedside table.
Love, Bodie."

 He glanced across at the table, and saw a slim package all neatly wrapped
up. He was just fingering it lightly, when he heard Bodie come in.

 "Meant to give you that last night at the restaurant. Anyway, it's
probably worked out better now." Bodie informed him. "Well, aren't you
going to open it?"

 Ray carefully tore off the wrapping to reveal a jewellery box. Opening
it, he revealed a silver identity bracelet, which was slim, just as he
liked them, wouldn't look too heavy against his bone structure. He was
examining it, when he noticed that it bore an inscription.

 "Forever yours. Love, Bodie."

 He turned to face his lover, and saw just a chink of vulnerability on the
beautiful face.

 "It's perfect. Thank you. I'll treasure it always." He pulled Bodie onto
the bed, and kissed him thoroughly, reigniting their lust.

 "I'm forever yours, too." He sighed dreamily.

 -- THE END --

 *July 2005*

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