The Professionals Circuit Archive - Revelations	Revelations

 

by Shirasade 

 
 It had happened gradually, so there was no way CI5's finest (at least
according to himself) William Andrew Philip Bodie could pinpoint one
moment as starting point for the whole thing. Not that it mattered,
really. All he knew was that, somehow, sometime along the way, he had come
to love his partner as he hadn't loved anyone in his whole eventful life.

 The few women he had allowed into his heart could definitely not compare,
not even Marikka, although it hurt to admit this, considering all the
trouble that affair had gotten him into. There just wasn't a way to
measure his love for Raymond Doyle--it had taken roots deep inside, in
that part of himself that Bodie kept carefully guarded. His feelings for
Ray (great agent, good friend, springy curls, green eyes, slightly-manic
giggles, occasional tears, man-parts and all) had become so entwined with
everything Bodie was that sometimes Bodie feared he would simply stop to
exist should he be robbed of his love for some reason.

 Oh, he would continue to breathe, that he knew--Bodie wasn't such a fool
to believe that people actually went and died of things like a broken
heart--but without Ray, Bodie's life would stop being worth living. Quite
a pathetic insight, but one that Bodie had come to accept as one of the
basic facts of his life: Fight hard, obey Cowley (mostly), and keep Ray
alive. Which was why seeing Ray on that operating table was almost more
than Bodie had been able to take.

 Yet he had kept watching, had had to--both as a punishment for having
failed the most important of his three commandments and because a part of
him was completely convinced that Ray would come back if only Bodie
stayed.

 And come back Ray did, waking up to find Bodie hovering behind the nurse,
not even pretending to ogle her, pretty as she was (of course). Instead,
when Ray's eyes opened, Bodie was at his side in a flash, hands aching to
hold the twitching fingers. He held back--barely, and he knew it showed,
despite his efforts to hold up a manly front. Therefore, and because he
knew his partner so well, he was not really surprised at Ray's first
words: "Always knew you were a big softie, Bodie."

 The insulted was too relieved to hear the familiar voice to protest--his
Ray was alive, that was all that mattered. For now at least. He'd be sure
to retaliate as soon as the shock wore off and he was his normal, stoic
self again. So he just shrugged, smiling with too-bright eyes, and
muttered: "Great choice of first words, mate--sheer poetry!"

 If he was honest with himself (a habit he had only recently developed,
brought on by hours spent waiting around in a variety of hospital rooms),
Bodie was a bit hurt at the lack of feeling Ray displayed. One would think
that, coming back from the dead, Doyle might have had an epiphany
(regarding the wish to spend the rest of his life with Bodie), or at the
very least realized what he had in his partner and said something
appreciative. Obviously, despite being the artistic one, Ray Doyle lacked
a certain...post-death experience etiquette, Bodie mused.

 His musing (and secret pouting) was interrupted quite rudely by the
aforementioned offender, who was completely oblivious and only snorted:
"What did you expect? A declaration of love?"

 "Sorry to disappoint you, mate, but I think the nurse is married." The
terse reply left a ashen taste in Bodie's mouth. Ray's flip words had hit
a little close to home, and Bodie pulled back behind his usual front,
tucking those pesky romantic feelings away to that corner of his heart
where they'd lain safely hidden before he found Ray lying in a pool of his
own blood.

 "Oh, I bet she'll be less married when the right guy asks her out...."
Ray's grin was smug, and Bodie conveniently forgot that only hours ago he
would have been over the moon to see that smile again.

 Things went downhill from there--during Ray's struggle with death,
Bodie's subconscious had obviously suppressed the knowledge of how
annoying his partner could be. While he tended to display a disconcerting
lack of regard for his personal safety while on the job, Ray had the habit
of complaining incessantly and demanding a lot of attention as soon as he
was out of grave danger. Bodie normally didn't mind this, but after days
of being spread thin between his CI5 investigations and hours at the
hospital, even Bodie's nerves (which he normally claimed were
non-existing) were starting to be frayed.

 It took two days of Ray being on his worst behavior (demanding and rude
to Bodie while flirting incessantly with anything in a skirt, and even
Murphy when he came by), and Bodie almost wished his partner had died on
that table. Of course, right after catching himself thinking like this,
Bodie felt guilty, because, no matter what, he still loved the guy and
woke up at night from nightmares in which Ray's heart stopped beating--and
Bodie did not like feeling guilty, as it did not go at all with his
self-image.

 The emotional rollercoaster even began to take a serious toll on his
legendary appetite, a fact that a part of him hoped wouldn't go unnoticed
by Ray (although he of course did his best to hide it). Still there was no
word, no look, not the smallest sign that his sufferings mattered in the
least bit. Bodie grew more and more resentful, while Ray continued to mend
and heal at his usual unnaturally speedy rate, soon starting to talk about
returning back to his flat and active duty. And when Bodie expressed his
concern that Ray might be overdoing it in physical therapy, all he got was
an expressive eye-roll and an annoyed: "Quit mothering me, Bodie! One
could start thinking you didn't want me back out there with you...."

 This would have been the perfect opening for a confession of Bodie's true
feelings, instead Bodie grunted something that was meant to express his
disdain for the remark but only led to Ray shooting him yet another dark
look and Bodie leaving on a fictional errand from Cowley. All too soon he
was back at the hospital, though, unable to resist the urge to check that
Ray was doing fine. This pattern was followed faithfully by both of them
until the doctors declared Ray to be ready to go home, as long as he had
someone to look in on him every day. Not surprisingly (hospital stays were
hard on the budget, after all) Cowley agreed and gave the task of looking
after 4.5 to his partner (who, admittedly, only put up a token protest).

 So Bodie brought Ray to his new, uncompromised place, which he had made
sure beforehand was equipped with all his partner might need or want. Then
(ignoring the voice in his head that kept screaming at him not to leave
Ray alone) Bodie bid his good-byes and promised to be back the next
morning after the briefing at CI5.

 Ray was lounging on the couch (pretending hard not to be tired although
Bodie could tell) and shot him a disbelieving look as he approached the
door: "How can you be so dense, Bodie? You're of course staying here."

 Bodie could feel his eyes pop out of his head. He had thought Ray would
be glad to be rid of him and have some time for himself. "Did I miss a
memo from Cowley about more budget cuts or what are you getting at, mate?"

 Ray shook his head in exasperation so that his curls went flying, but his
voice remained calm (too calm, a dangerous sign): "Bodie. I was shot only
recently. I'm still hurting. Maybe this has clouded my ability to speak
clearly." He sat up on the couch and flinched, causing Bodie to step
closer almost against his will. "But probably you're thick skull is
getting in the way of understanding what should be clear to everyone: I
want you. Have for a while. And after all that has happened, I have no
intention of letting you get away from me. So, if you have even a bit of
compassion, you won't make me get up and kick your butt but get said butt
(which is very attractive, by the way) over here and come to bed with me."

 Bodie was shell-shocked. He had never doubted his ability to attract
sexual partners (although admittedly there were normally female), but he
had completely missed this. And now Ray was sitting there, looking at him
impatiently. Finally his finely honed instincts kicked in and he closed
the gap between them, leaning down and claiming Ray's (oh so inviting)
lips hungrily. Wouldn't do to let him get away, after all.

 -- THE END --

 *December 2005*

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