The Professionals Circuit Archive - A Residence Afresh       A Residence
Afresh

 

by Barbara Thomas

  
 *See, but as when one layeth
 His worn-out robes away,
 And taking new ones, sayeth:
 "These will I wear today",
 So putteth by the spirit
 Lightly its robe of flesh,
 And passeth to inherit
 A residence afresh.*
   --from the Bhagavad Gita


Ah c'mon, Bodie, get a move on!

I know I told you I'd wait for you, but I'm starting to feel a bit
conspicuous here.

It's funny, but when I thought about this place at all I always imagined
it would be quiet. Private, sort of.

But it isn't. More like Piccadilly Circus in the rush hour, actually.

So many people. All shapes, sizes, colours, ages. Every one of 'em in a
rush to get to wherever they're goin'.

If you must know, most of them are ignoring me. I'm standing here in the
middle of the crowd, waiting, like the original perfect prat. There are a
few others hanging about, but it makes no difference to me; I still feel
like a sore thumb.

I really wish you'd get here, mate.

You wouldn't believe how lonely it is without you.

Or maybe you would. I expect you're feeling lonely too, now, aren't you?

Can't be all that long since I left you. I'm not sure 'ow long it's been,
really, 'cos me watch has stopped, but it's starting to feel like forever.

I didn't think I'd miss you so much so quickly.

Never imagined you'd grown on me to such an extent, but I suppose I ought
to have expected something of the sort, considering how much I love you.

It's as though I've lost part of myself.

You know how amputees say they can still feel the limb that's been chopped
off aching and itching? Well, it's something like that--only different.
It's not in one of me extremities, it's an empty sort of pain deep inside
of me.

As though there's a great big hole right in the middle of me chest where
my heart's gone missing.

Well, it has, come to think of it. I gave it to you a month ago, didn't I?

Remember?

That night when we finally got around to admitting to one another what
we'd known for ages: that we were in love. I handed it over into your
keeping then, just as you gave me yours. Till death, you said.

Forever, I corrected you, and you said there was no such thing. And I told
you that now we'd found each other I wasn't about to let you go. Not ever.
Not for anything, not even for death.

I did warn you that I'm a possessive sod, didn't I? Always 'ave been.
Can't 'elp it, and where you're concerned I'm not even going to try.

We wasted so much time, love. So much time!

Six years working together as partners.

Six years when we might've been lovers, might have had everything we've
had for the past month if only we 'adn't been so busy keeping up the
stupid macho image.

If only.... Two of the saddest and most useless fucking words in the
English language. 'Cause you can't turn back the clock, can you?

All that time lost, lovin' each other and being too scared to say so. I
can't believe we were so...so.... Such bloody idiots!

This past month has been....

How do you describe the indescribable, Bodie?

All I can say is, it's been the happiest thirty days of my life.

Yours too, I know, because you've told me so. Told me and shown me, over
and over again.

I'm so glad I've been able to give you that, because you haven't 'ad much
genuine loving in your life, have you, mate?

Me neither. Not until you.

So we're even, more than even, because everything I've given to you you've
given back to me in full measure and overflowing.

Oh love, what's *keeping* you? What's taking so long?

You told me you only needed a minute to take care of one small piece of
unfinished business, and then you'd follow me.

Please, get here soon!

Got used to 'aving you around, you see. Now I can't envisage doing
anything without you. I love you so much, more than I ever thought
possible. And I *need* you, more than I've ever needed anyone in my whole
life.

Especially now, especially here!

We always knew this had to happen sometime, sooner or later, and when we
saw the way things were today we knew that this was that 'sometime'.

One down--both down. No escape for either of us. Not this time.

There wasn't a hope in hell of the cavalry coming over the hill and we
knew it right from the start. There were too any of them, too well armed,
and only the two of us.

You and me, together, as always.

It was only a matter of time, really, and which one of us--

*At last!*

Oh, Bodie, I'm so glad to see you again. So glad to touch you again, to
hold you again.

There, love, hang onto me. It's a bit disorientating just at first, but
you soon get over it.

And we're together. That's the only important thing, the one thing that
matters. Nothing was ever difficult when we had each other.

We 'ad so little time, love.

Only thirty days.

But there's no possibility of us ever being separated now. No more
partings, not ever. We've got Eternity, now.

I know you've never really believed in all of this, but I was right,
wasn't I?

Forever and ever, Bodie!

I told you so, didn't I?

I told you that as long as we did it together the dying would be easy.

In fact, the dying is only the real beginning.

-- THE END --

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