The Professionals Circuit Archive - Yes, Minister Yes, Minister by O Yardley The Man asked His M.P., his M.P. asked The Minister: "Can't we catch these criminals Of whom we live in dread?" The M.P. asked The Minister, The Minister Said, "Certainly, I'll go and tell The Cow Now Before he goes to bed." The Minister He stalked away And telephoned George Cowley: "Can't we shoot these villains? Someone's yelling for my head!" George Cowley Said sleepily, "You'd better tell The M.P. That many people now try Psychiatry Instead." The Minister Said, "Crikey!" And went to The M.P. The Minister he waffled, and He turned a little red: "Referring to The matter of The criminals You mentioned ... A gentle touch is better than An agent's Heavy tread." The M.P. said, "Oh, yeah?" And went to His constituent: "Speaking of the criminals Of whom you live in dread ... The Minister Is certain that Broken homes Are culpable. Would you like to try under- Standing them Instead?" The Man swore, "Bugger!" And then he said, "No, bugger them!" And went to buy a gun. "Nobody, You idiot, Could call me A fussy man; I *only* want A villain who Is always on The run." The M.P. said, "Now, now!" But went to The Minister. The Minister said, "Come, come!" And gravely shook his head. The Cow said, "Tut, tut! I didn't really Mean it; Here's Bodie with a rifle And Doyle with the lead." The Minister said, "Thank God!" And went to The M.P. ; The M.P. said, "Hooray!" And it made a front-page spread. "Nobody," the Man said As he put away his shot-gun, "Nobody, my friends, Could say I Was violent -- FOR *I only want those villains to be very slightly dead!" * ****** Said Bodie: "You need to be sharper To wriggle away from Marge Harper. Don't act like a rabbit! If you see a chance, grab it And do a bunk, sharpish and scarper!" But Raymond was slow when it mattered Through having by villains been battered, And not by his choice Was he in that Rolls Royce Doing his best to look flattered. -- THE END -- Archive Home